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When Circumlocution Becomes Your Fuck Buddy
When Circumlocution Becomes Your Fuck Buddy
Let's celebrate the Bay of Pigs invasion!! Two clicks south of Cinco De Mayo! What does your inner self tell you now, Dr Phil?
Memorable Quotes by Defense Secretary Donald "Redrum" Rumsfeld
"I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past. I think the past was not predictable when it started."
"We do know of certain knowledge that he [ Osama Bin Laden ] is either in Afghanistan, or in some other country, or dead."
*** cut away shot of 4 men dressed in hospital whites holding a giant net ***
"We know where they are. They're in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat." ‒on Iraq's weapons of mass destruction
"Death has a tendency to encourage a depressing view of war."
"Freedom's untidy, and free people are free to make mistakes and commit crimes and do bad things." ‒on looting in Iraq after the U.S. invasion, adding "stuff happens"
"As you know, you go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time."
"I am not going to give you a number for it because it's not my business to do intelligent work." - asked to estimate the number of Iraqi insurgents while testifying before Congress
"I believe what I said yesterday. I don't know what I said, but I know what I think, and, well, I assume it's what I said."
"Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns -- the ones we don't know we don't know."
*** take a moment and turn on the Celtic Mysteries compilation CD you got at Starbucks when you actually thought it would be a great purchase in a fit of caffeine addiction - and read that one again - aren't these words a fucking existential wonder? ***
"If I said yes, that would then suggest that that might be the only place where it might be done which would not be accurate, necessarily accurate. It might also not be inaccurate, but I'm disinclined to mislead anyone."
"There's another way to phrase that and that is that the absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence. It is basically saying the same thing in a different way. Simply because you do not have evidence that something does exist does not mean that you have evidence that it doesn't exist." - on Iraq's weapons of mass destruction
"Well, um, you know, something's neither good nor bad but thinking makes it so, I suppose, as Shakespeare said."
"Secretary Powell and I agree on every single issue that has ever been before this administration except for those instances where Colin's still learning."
"Learn to say 'I don't know.' If used when appropriate, it will be often."
"I don't know what the facts are but somebody's certainly going to sit down with him and find out what he knows that they may not know, and make sure he knows what they know that he may not know."
*** okay, keep playing that Starbucks CD - backwards this time - for those hidden Satanic messages found in Judas Priest offerings ***
"I'm not into this detail stuff. I'm more concepty."
"I don't do quagmires."
"I don't do diplomacy."
"I don't do foreign policy."
"I don't do predictions."
"I don't do numbers."
"I don't do book reviews."
"Now, settle down, settle down. Hell, I'm an old man, it's early in the morning and I'm gathering my thoughts here."
"If I know the answer I'll tell you the answer, and if I don't, I'll just respond, cleverly."
*** OMFG ... he finally said something with a whisper of truth in it ***
Final Words: remember, at least 50% of Americans minus the votes that were either not counted, isolated and discounted, just plain "lost" in the back of a rental truck or - in the case of Florida and Ohio - erased by qualified professionals ... elected his boss twice!
Then again, AdultFriendFinder provides you with a nice list of My New Matches based on a bizarre feature called Your Cupid Settings and 95% of them arrive without so much as a profile picture that is both real and has potential ... and to think most of you pay for such abject disappointment. Talk about "Holy craptastic failures, Batman!"
If there is a God - and I saved that one out of respect to our friends with a christian church during the Easter season - please let Jerry Falwell shake his jowels during the exorcism with a rather robust fart-and-burp soundtrack accompanied in lockstep by the organ player from New Jersey Devil's games.
America, what a country!!
- Yakov Smirnoff, who ironically is more famous than me!
Doesn't it seem that the current administration is just a collection of characters? There's Donald "Redrum" Rumsfeld, Condoleeza "Little Rascal" Rice, "Pepperin-Dick" Cheney, Karl "Little Satan" Rove, and of course "Chimpy McFlightsuit" George Dubya Bush. And that's just to name a few. How could you not feel confident right now? That is: if you consider "to hell in a hand basket" the right direction.