Wanted: Horrifying Combination of My Exes  

sfvppl818 50M/50F
486 posts
4/29/2006 2:30 pm

Last Read:
5/18/2006 8:37 am

Wanted: Horrifying Combination of My Exes

Since without really trying I seem to be repeating the past, ad infinitum, and ending up with men who later divulge revolting secrets or tendencies that creepily resemble one another, I have decided instead to just look for what I am always surprised to find. At least I won’t be shocked when you show me your pylon-sized butt plug or request to suck on my tampon.

Are you:
- Secretly homosexual/interested in my best friend?
- Addicted to porn?
- Someday going to make me fist you before we go out to dinner?
- Incapable of wiping your ass before leaving your drawers on my carpet?

Do you:
- Kick your girlfriend out of bed so that your cat can sleep there instead?
- Own a home with your mother?
- Refer to Shakespeare as the “Elvis of their time”?
- Use deodorant on your wing-wang?

Have you:
- Ever stalked a woman by leaving bars of homemade soap on her doorstep?
- Asked a woman what kind of luxury car she most resembles, emotionally?
- Worn a kilt on a first date then sobbed uncontrollably while listening to Billy Ocean?
- Fantasized sexually about your sister then told someone, e.g. your partner, and expected her to take this news in stride?

Will you:
- Pay for online fuck buddy sites using my American Express?
- Scream at me when I am late for drinks at fucking Applebee’s?
- Pee in the bed and blame it on the dog?
- Completely cease all manner of personal hygiene, especially aspects of nail care, once we enter a commitment phase? (I love a man whose toenails click on the tile)

If the above describes you, please contact me. Please note that my next menstrual cycle is scheduled to begin in 12 days.


funontheside4you 41M/38F

4/29/2006 3:25 pm

LOL,,,, LOVE IT. AND A FEW DO REFERE TO ME. HONESTLY


frogger1995 39F

4/29/2006 7:41 pm

You poor, poor woman!


SirluvsStorms 46M
684 posts
4/29/2006 10:11 pm

LOL!


Intensity4U 52M
7432 posts
5/1/2006 7:06 am

Now I see why "asshat" was such a significant find for you and why it is so important for you to have in such a fitting term so readily available.

I live in the land of rednecks, but you have attracted/sought? a whole different species. With THAT relationship history, I truly feel sorry for you. If more than one of those are real life experiences, I just have to ask, and don't take this too seriously, but... Are you fucking stupid or just fucking the stupid?


sfvppl818 50M/50F

5/1/2006 1:26 pm

    Quoting Intensity4U:
    Now I see why "asshat" was such a significant find for you and why it is so important for you to have in such a fitting term so readily available.

    I live in the land of rednecks, but you have attracted/sought? a whole different species. With THAT relationship history, I truly feel sorry for you. If more than one of those are real life experiences, I just have to ask, and don't take this too seriously, but... Are you fucking stupid or just fucking the stupid?
Gosh, such inspiring words! That last question ... Lee Harvey! ... I wanna party with you!
Anyways, hate to take things so seriously as well, but there are too many asshats in this world and I do think that an asshat unconvered is one less to find.

Don't you agree?

PS - sorry Bill Murray, too good a line to not apply!


Intensity4U 52M
7432 posts
5/1/2006 2:08 pm

    Quoting sfvppl818:
    Gosh, such inspiring words! That last question ... Lee Harvey! ... I wanna party with you!
    Anyways, hate to take things so seriously as well, but there are too many asshats in this world and I do think that an asshat unconvered is one less to find.

    Don't you agree?

    PS - sorry Bill Murray, too good a line to not apply!
I do agree, much appreciation for the extensive work you've done to find the asshats for all of us. I just couldn't resist the question - I must admit I was first attracted to your blog by the picture of your thigh.

But anyways, for your own sake, it's time to stop taking it for the team... try the two-part process; FIND then AVOID! The asshat catch & release program doesn't work in the long run.


sfvppl818 50M/50F

5/1/2006 9:11 pm

    Quoting Intensity4U:
    I do agree, much appreciation for the extensive work you've done to find the asshats for all of us. I just couldn't resist the question - I must admit I was first attracted to your blog by the picture of your thigh.

    But anyways, for your own sake, it's time to stop taking it for the team... try the two-part process; FIND then AVOID! The asshat catch & release program doesn't work in the long run.
Actually, no slick comment intended here ... but oh well!

See the "C" under the handle? Well, lets just say I found the other side of this coin - without having to dig any further - and asshats are not that equation.


TTigerAtty 62M

5/2/2006 5:34 am

Surely you jest? Don't you? If not, you have my deepest sympathy, girl!


Intensity4U 52M
7432 posts
5/2/2006 8:46 am

I just started reading your blog a few days ago, found it intriguing, and decided it would be interesting to follow. I wasn't sure at first... With so many (mind if I use your word?) "asshat" worthy blogs, I don't often take the time to decipher wit from anger. But there was that shapely leg pictured in your profile...

I did see the "C" & wasn't sure how that figured into your past or present. Thanks for the clarification. I'm relieved, for your sake, that you've connected with the other side and you're not still out there martyring yourself.

Also regarding the "C", is the blog a team effort or do you do all of the posting? Doesn't really matter - I'm just wondering whether this is the work of one mind or two.


sfvppl818 50M/50F

5/3/2006 5:50 am

    Quoting TTigerAtty:
    Surely you jest? Don't you? If not, you have my deepest sympathy, girl!
Gosh! Does the Pope speak Latin?


walkinatmidnight 55M

5/3/2006 8:01 pm

If you let me be your boyfriend I promise:

To tell you not to interrupt me when I'm watching NASCAR.

To turn my t-shirt inside out when it's dirty.

To say things like "Done with that?" and "Your little sister's lookin GOOD!" and "Fuck your family, I'll be down at the Gangplank."

To borrow your car for an errand, vanish for three days, then call from a Motel 6 in Montana with Mindy the Wal-Mart cashier (and her ubiquitous sidekick Keisha) giggling in the background.

To dress like Billy Ocean and sob uncontrollably at bagpipe music...or whatever it was you said, I wasn't really listening.

To wash my ass with homemade soap and have you film me doing it.

To pay my cousin (recently paroled) with your Am Ex card to design my porn site, called "Soap Filmz". I will post naked photographs of you without your knowledge or consent.

I'll make you forget those other losers. The name is Ray-Dell. Remember it, you'll be screaming it later.


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