Tweaker Flea Market  

sfvppl818 50M/50F
486 posts
4/24/2006 12:54 pm

Last Read:
6/16/2006 8:19 am

Tweaker Flea Market

We were going through the house the other day (on day 12) and noticed that we have a lot of fabulous things we could sell for more of that crystalized nectar of the gods!! So...we're gonna' have a little sale.

EVERYTHING MUST GO---CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP!!!

Here are a few things we uncovered from the layers of graph paper and expired coupons:

-A gingerbread house made out of peanutbutter cookie dough ice cream. When the idea came upon us to construct this masterpiece it was (of course) too late to go to the store and actually get gingerbread. So, who cares if we used the kids breakfast, we gave them 50 cents for a Slim-Jim...to split.

-My collection of empty cigarette packs from the last 3 weeks. This fine treasure consists of 63 boxes of GPCs. This one, I tell you, is a real find.

-A few strands of copper wiring I stole from a homeless guy sleeping outside Allstar Donuts on 5th.

-This pack of matches I found in the bottom drawer of my desk. This one is really useful, there are 3 whole matches left. They're a little sticky but sulfer doesn't go bad does it?

-A roll of toilet paper that fell in the toilet but now it's okay because it's dry.

-Some freak we brought home from a rave last week. This one is free.

-A re-wrapped blow pop. This one will be expensive because the gum is still there and hardly chewed.

-That bent fork I was trying to fix the thermostat with. (wow, that zap I got actually felt really good. On second thought, I'm not selling that one)

-Several pairs of dirty thongs. I don't know how many days I've worn each pair, or even if they're mine, but if you wash them no one will know.

-1 pair of genuine converse high-tops from the late '80s. The duct tape on the toe is complimentary.

-1,286 Top Ramen proof of purchase labels.

-The phone number of this biker guy I met in Truckee last year who said he has some really good shit.

-Several broken light bulbs (they come in handy when you misplace your "devil's johnson")

-Little Johnny, he eats too goddamned much. And his box, I mean crib too.


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