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The New GOP Pornography - Now With 65% Less Filth
The New GOP Pornography - Now With 65% Less Filth
JoAnn eyed Dave. Dave eyed JoAnn. Their eyes met suddenly. Then both pairs of eyes darted away.
Jack eyed Steve, who was eyeing Jack's wife, Jean.
Jean eyed Pierre, the butler.
Everyone was all eyes! They were going to have an orgy!
JoAnn eyed Jack. Jack eyed Dave. Dave eyed Jean. Jean eyed Steve. Steve eyed Pierre.
No they weren't, either.
Sheila tugged at her bra. Would it never come off? Brad laughed nervously. "Come, darling, it can't be that difficult!" he finally said, exasperated. "Take it off, dear."
Sheila tugged again, but again the big bra refused to budge. Damn glue! Would they never be able to "get down"? Sheila sighed. The bra just wouldn't move! Brad sighed, too. "Try the panties," he said.
"It's no good, dearest. The goddamn glue works! Really! I could kill Harold for this! I should never have let him apply the stuff! Might as well get dressed again. Sorry, sweetheart."
Diane leaped from the couch. "You wouldn't!" she shrieked. "You wouldn't take me fully clothed!"
"Yes, my darling, if it's possible, I want to try it! Don't take off a thing! Yes, that's perfect! I want you just like that, leaping from the couch!"
Diane darted away. Ugh! He was horrible! The way he so smugly and slyly suggested that she shouldn't remove her clothes!
Sue hated the thought of sleeping with Mr. Crabbe. No. She couldn't do it!
Nevertheless, she went through with it, for a lucrative contract. Both of them slept well, getting about twelve hours apiece.
When it was over, Sue got up. "Ahh! A new day! Hey, Get up! Hi! I really got a good rest. Thanks a lot. It wasn't so bad sleeping with you. I was bone tired!"
"Take off your things," Mark demanded.
"But I'm not wearing anything," said Ruth, obviously hurt.
"What are those ... those buttons on your chest?" he asked, incredulous.
"They're beauty marks." explained Ruth.
"Okay, then, what are those things that look like jeans on your hips?"
"Beauty marks, Mark." Ruth said quietly.
"Well, what about that collar? How do you explain that?"
"It's a beauty mark, dear. I have a lot of them..."
"I can see that!" said Mark. He stomped out of the bedroom sore as hell.
Hank stared lustily at Hanna. "And now, we'll make love!" he announced.
"I don't think so, no," Hanna replied, leaving him speechless. Instead, she read.
Night fell. Hanna continued her reading into it.
In the morning, Hank arose. "Now, let's make love," he said a little sleepily.
"No! Let's have breakfast!" said Hanna, putting down her book.
After their meal, Hank again asked Hanna to make love.
"Sorry, Hank, I have to go to work," she replied.
"Well, how about tonight?" asked Hank.
"I haven't finished my novel," she said immediately. "It's a good one!"
"It's a long one," said Hank angrily. But it was too late. Hanna had left for the office.
Hank watched TV.
Randy was very randy. He wanted Martine, his family's fancy French cook, to sleep with him. He knew Martine spoke no English, but he thought he could overcome that barrier.
At noon, Martine was getting started with her luncheon duties when Randy entered.
"You're cute!" he said. "Will you sleep with me?"
"Avec boeuf," Martine replied.
"Let's go upstairs!" Randy pointed to the ceiling.
"Ah! Le ciel! Mais oui!" Martine smiled.
"She still doesn't get it," thought Randy. "Maybe I should point to my penis?" Finally, in desperation, he clapped his hands together and made like he was sleeping on them. Then he pointed to her, then to himself.
But Martine was busy with the stew, and didn't seem interested at all, really.
The beautiful young nurse leaned over the patient, a young man in traction, and smiled. "And how are you today. Lewis?" she asked brightly.
"Horny, still," the youngster immediately replied. "C'mon! Get me out of this contraption! Please, I want you!"
"Ha, ha!" she laughed as she moved to the next bed.
Sally Ann and Dickie were smooching in Dickie's car, and Sally Ann was getting really hot!
"Dickie, I want you now!" she steamed. "Let's get in the back seat quick!"
Unfortunately, Dickie's car was an MG Midget, which had none.
Mickey was showing voluptuous Millie his apartment.
"And now, would you like to see my bedroom?" he asked carefully.
Millie giggled in anticipation. "I'd love to!" she said.
"That's funny," said Mickey, trying the door. "It seems to be locked! I'll be darned! Oh, well…" *
Viv and Bob were necking on the couch.
"Mmm, darling, turn out the lights!" breathed Viv.
Bob's hand flew to the switch. He flicked it down, but nothing happened! The room remained lit up!
"Damn thing doesn't work!" he said, still flicking.
"Oh, my!" said Viv. "Do you suppose we're having a --- what do you call it? --- a power overload?"
"Yeah, I guess so," Bob replied.
"Well, so much for sex tonight!"
"Are you or are you not going to remove those panties?" demanded Art.
"I am not!" was Ginger's firm retort.
"Well, that's it, then! Good night to you, Ginger!"
Daisy loved Donald, and wanted to give herself to him.
But Donald was always out on silly adventures with his nephews and crazy uncle, and never paid much attention to her anyway.
"What a comical situation!" thought Daisy, turning off the TV and padding off to bed alone for the umpteenth time.
"Take off your jacket," said Stephen. Meg obeyed lazily.
"Now take off your sweater," he commanded her.
Again, Meg lazily obeyed.
"Now take off your blouse."
Stephen went on. "Now your galoshes, now your left shoe, now your right shoe, now your stockings…"
All these instructions Meg obeyed, lazily.
"Now take off your scarf," said Stephen, a little tired himself by now, "...now your skirt, now your girdle, now your b--- Oh, forget it!"