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Once A "Good Slut" Now Gone Bad
Once A "Good Slut" Now Gone Bad
So my slutty past has come back to haunt me. I knew the day would eventually arrive. Sigh. Where to begin?
An old fuck buddy of mine found me on this site last Friday. It's been years since we talked last, and when it ended, it didn't end on great terms. Not that we were ready to slash tires or go sit in each other's bushes, but you know how shit tends to end. Random, stupid and too immature for me to care to admit to here. But you ALL know what I'm talking about. (And I suppose that it's important to note that the responsibility for the breakup was mutual. No one person was more at fault than the other)
The messaging started innocently enough. But when I didn't respond in the manner that he was hoping for, he got creepy on me. Let's just say that favors were asked for. I responded in typical ME fashion - like the sarcastic shit that you all know and love - and he persisted. I stopped replying after the third message.
He, however, did not give up. Let me ask the males in here something: If you try e-mailing a chick, and twice she doesn't reply, you'd take that as a silent "Fuck off," right? You wouldn't send more similarly salacious e-mails the next day, right? And again the next day? And again the next day?
Yeah, so by Monday, with the bizarre one-sided correspondance piling up, I thought I'd send a simple, intelligently harsh message to try to nail home the "Fuck off," sentiment. That message was:
"*That was always your major flaw. Never knowing when to stop fucking around and start being sincere. I'm all for a good joke, but yours (then and now) reek like something a middle-aged used car salesman would use. They smack of insecurity and desparation.
If you think that you'd like to reminesce, if you think that we actually share memories that are in any way similar, then knock off the junior high crap. Otherwise, just leave me alone. This shit is getting old.*"
Holy ensuing shit storm! You would have thought I shot his mother, the way he started bitching at me about being "mean", "hurtful", "vindictive" etc, etc. So I thought: "What the hell. Let's try the understanding route." I really had no clue just where I stood with this guy. First blow-job, second sex-partner ever. I started thinking maybe I was just being the self-absorbed bitch that I am capable of being from time to time. (Stop laughing asshats, I'm a nice girl most of the time, but amazingly aware of my shortcomings, right?) I tried explaining my position, where I was coming from and so on. Brushing him off in a subtle way by letting my message boil down to: "It's nice that you decided to look me up, but I consider that part of my life over." Well, that message was in the morning. I thought more about it over the day and decided to give him a touch of what he was looking for (more or less: yes, I remember you and don't think you were a complete waste of my time). This seems to have finally pleased the doofus.
Some people are just too much work and their life cycle drains the rest of us, until we feel like we're being brainwashed for a new cult of personality. His was named Lord Brion, master of nothing, pain in the ass to all.
You could just sense the "but" coming, couldn't you? The responding message that I got where he was happy that he finally heard what he was looking for comes off as a tad (hmmm, really perhaps a little more than a tad... honestly, I don't know what to believe out of this guy) condescending. So I want to sizzle his ass on the fire a little more. But I'd also like to see if I could continue this "play nice-ity nice" streak and whether I could do it in some way that is NOT going to come naturally to me.
All this concern over some long dead pseudo-ex's feelings is a little unnerving for the girl who moderates a supposed "elite" league of haters.
So my question now for you men is this: You're a 34 year old guy who meets a 30 year old crazy chick who is willing to engage you in a no-strings-attached sex friendship. You don't have a vast wealth of experience, but she is willing to teach you. You carry on for around 4 months in a somewhat casual manner. You break things off under uncomfortable circumstances. Years later you see her profile on AdultFriendFinder, because you recognize her ass in the suds. What exactly would you be interested in happening should you contact her? And should she blow off your initial attempts to communicate, what do you do then?
Have any of you been in this position in any way? I know it's rather confusing, but I'd just like some clues behind the male psyche. What drives you to want to share recollections? Why does it seem like men are more preoccupied with the past than they should be? Am I being a bitch for not just humoring him and indulging in a short stroll down memory lane? And girls, why do we always seem to spend so much time trying to figure out what it was that WE did wrong? How WE can fix things? Why can't we just be bitches and let them suffer?
Erg. I need drugs.
5/18/2006 12:49 pm
if i had some i would share. sorry.lol.|
5/18/2006 1:21 pm
my buddy always tells me "Tim, would you rather be right or be happy?" I always answer "well, I ain't fucking happy so I'll settle for right."|