Dear cat: Please do not disturb the blinds when I am watching porn  

sfvppl818 50M/50F
486 posts
4/22/2006 7:35 pm

Last Read:
4/23/2006 1:42 pm

Dear cat: Please do not disturb the blinds when I am watching porn

Dear cat,

The dude is away for three days, and though I am a person of strong will, three days is simply too long to bear without working the coochie out. I don’t expect you to understand this need as you no longer have your ovaries, but trust me when I say, I NEED to.

If you ever took the CAT SATs, you might have seen this example analogy:

Getting off : me :: licking your ass : you

Having established that, I request of you: Please do not disturb the fucking blinds when I'm watching porn!

You’re a cat, not a dog, so don’t give me that puppy-eyed look. You know what you’re doing. As soon as I settle back in my chair with some hot chick doing all the things that I won’t, full-screen, you awaken from a dead sleep and run through the floor-to-ceiling blinds. I often shriek and my hard nipples, brilliantly backlit by the glow of the monitor, fall soft like a rhubarb stalk at the bottom of a Safeway bin. For the love of my happiness and reputation, or my love of my reputation, keep on sleeping when I’m a’ rubbing.

I should have gotten a ferret.

Hugs and purrs,

Your owner.

P.S. And don’t stare at my tits. You give the same look to a string before you’re about to pounce on it. That frightens me.


tgrladynry69 40M/47F

4/22/2006 11:13 pm

F'N HILARIOUS!!! Living in a household with three cats, (two of our own and our female roomate's) there is always a cat watching us have sex, whether it be with my fiancee or our roomate, LOL! It does kinda trip me out even though I've been a demonstrator for a male sex toy in front of 40 people and have gotten a blow job in front of 80 people at a club. Dont know why, but I've been more embarrassed when our cats watch than people, so this really hit home. Very funny!


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