Are you terrible in bed?  

sfvppl818 50M/50F
486 posts
5/10/2006 6:03 pm

Last Read:
5/22/2006 10:04 am

Are you terrible in bed?

I am now going to approach dating in a scientific manner.
So far my dating exploits have included men who claim to be the best in bed.
Unfortunately, I've found that men who think they are good in bed are good at getting right to their own orgasms and biting things that should never even be tongued (like the eyebrow.)

So, I am looking for guys who admit they are bad in the sack. This is the Michael Jackson approach to dating where bad is the new good.

You say you can make me cum five times in an hour? Not interested.
You say your dick is more on target for the gspot than the Olympic Archery team. No can do.
You say your tongue is more powerful than a plug in vibrator. Sorry buddy.

I want the guy who needs at least two girls to get a boner. I need the guy who doesn't know how to put the condom on. I'd like the guy who thinks the Gspot is a club on Sunset. I'm going to date the guy who actually thinks that the ears are two more inputs.

An added bonus would be if you like indie rock or electroclash, but I'll venture to guess that the guy who knows he's bad in bed is waiting for a Slaughter reunion tour. And that's the guy I want to date.

GossipJunkie 40F

5/10/2006 6:32 pm

Hear, Hear!! You said it better than I could.

"Dance like nobody's watching"

sfvppl818 replies on 5/10/2006 6:35 pm:

ViciousPleasure 55M/54F

5/10/2006 6:43 pm

Ditto! It amazes me how many guys here are "the best"...all that and a bag of chips, too. If they are all so fantastic, why are most of them still single? Oh....I guess they are devoting themselves to giving all women the pleasure of experiencing their sexual prowess. Hmmmm....was that sarcasm??? lol

sfvppl818 replies on 5/10/2006 6:55 pm:
i wouldn't take a bag of chips either!
men and their toys and their egos!

ProtonicMan 48M

5/10/2006 6:56 pm

OMG! Slaughter is getting back together? Why didn't they tell me?!?! When do tickets go on sale? I'll get my sleeping bag!

This is some seriously funny stuff.
sent me to check out your blog.

"I'll be back."


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