The audience participation part of our show  

sfvcpl818 51M/51F
417 posts
4/17/2006 7:45 pm

Last Read:
4/17/2006 7:50 pm

The audience participation part of our show

(I'm getting frustrated and running out of material!)

So, I do all my ill-advised thinking in the shower, and all my procrastinating on Fridays. This morning (while soaping up my luscious bod ;p) I was musing on how much time I waste on this site and the patterns I've seen. I'm not going to say we "need" an AdultFriendFinder glossary ‒ I stay out of what AdultFriendFinder needs discussions ‒ but if we were to have a glossary, I propose the following. This is a starter post in that if you come up with better stuff (which wouldn't be hard) I'll probably get a crush on you.

A(bc)dolph: a grammar nazi
Barney: (as in Fife) one who "helps" the AdultFriendFinder police by flagging postings that don't follow the rules, man, and are ruining it for everybody!
Biden: poster who steals other people's profile ideas and runs them as their own.
Bonaparte: a man who is pissed the hell off about women's height requirements.
Britney: a woman who posts a provocative profile just for the influx of responses, with no intention of following up.
Cass: a woman who won't post replies on account of her weight
Cruella: someone who comes here just to make fun of respondents. Britneys are not always Cruellas, but Cruellas are always Britneys.
Dorian: one who posts "I'm [blank] but look [blank]"
Dorothy: the witty, wry, bitterish, sassy poster
Doug: (as in Henning) guy who posts to his my new matches every day changing only the subject lines, in hopes that'll do the trick.
Ebenezer: Obsessed with women and their attitudes towards money. He'll be there when you get there, drink already ordered.
Emily: (as in Dickenson) a woman whose profile is heavy in the prose department.
Freud: (as in it doesn't take one to figure this out) a person who projects, via hostile posts, their frustration at being addicted to AdultFriendFinder.
Goodman: astrology-centric
Gloria: a woman who won't post replies to men for feminist reasons.
Houdini: A potential match with a pathological issue in need of constant therapy, who hides a significant issue, usually physical, until you meet them in person.
Jerry (Gerri in the feminine): one whose profile bears no evidence of their "great sense of humor"
Julian (Julianne in the feminine): Indieboy/girl profile - can't really distinguish the gender .. like the Pat skit on SNL.
Keats: a male Emily
Roofie Boy: Refuses to meet anywhere other than a bar.
Prof: one who lectures
Pulitzer: one who writes his/her blog obviously hoping to get the most commments.
Profiler: one who cuts and pastes their, matchmaker, yahoo personals, etc. on AdultFriendFinder
Buddy: (as in you'll see, Buddy) a guy who posts a really picky profile his first time out.
George: (no derivation, I just like the name) same guy, next post, prerequisites much softened.
Kevorkian: Same guy, many, many posts later. Livid, swearing off AdultFriendFinder, pulling the plug and telling everyone about it.
Rebounder: one who posts a profile with much detail about their last relationship.
Baggage-Handler: related to the Rebounder. One who lists very specific traits for next mate that are obviously the opposite of last mate.
Marley: potcentric poster - one 420 reference and you're bagged!
Manson: poster who "LOLs" in the middle of sentences.
Richie: a clean cut guy who's really "cool on the inside" and looking for a hip chick who looks on the outside like the kind of girl who would go with his cool insides.
Shorthanders: Those who list specific books, movies and bands as shortcut for sensibility.
Starr: A woman who tries to appear secure about her weight with blustery confidence, usually involves slamming thin chicks and using the words "REAL" and "WOMAN" a lot.
Starr Plus: Same as above, but includes bra size.
Wanker: Poster with fetish who posts to satisfy said fetish under the guise of doing "research" ... e.g. "I'm doing research on people who get off on stuffed frogs. Would you, especially women, e-mail me your stories involving getting off on stuffed frogs?"
Shudder-Inducers: Those who utilize "Hot", "Ladies", "Partner in Crime", "All you women out there", "Cheers" and "Aloha"
Costumers (other wise known as Bug The Fuck Out Of Me's): "I'm as comfortable in jeans as I am in a tux" "as comfortable hiking in Yosemite as I am at a five star restaurant" "I'm a buttoned up accountant by day, a dancer at night, a mountain climber on weekends and a lover always".

Your additions are most welcome and we will steal them as soon as we break into a grin!

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