My Daily Assticulation  

sfvcpl818 51M/51F
417 posts
4/17/2006 4:12 pm

Last Read:
4/19/2006 3:45 pm

My Daily Assticulation

Every day I come here, despite the lemon-soaked spiked chains lashed to my wrists, despite the colobus monkey I’ve trained to regularly savage my genitals if it senses I’m even thinking of clicking my mouse. Some days I hold out longer than others, but eventually I end up here, soaked in coffee, condemning myself for not having the fortitude of a person of higher character.

Then I read, each topic sinking the hole in which I live a little lower:



“Are men really the insensitive pricks devoid of intelligent thought that they seem to be or are they actually disguising the elevated emotional/intellectual status that women CLEARLY posses and if so please send me an e-mail because I’ve been posting since the Paleozoic era and man being this elevated and in touch with what’s REALLY important about life is really lonely, etc. etc. etc.”

“Re:Re:Re:Re:Re: My trip to the yuppie coffee bar and how it fucked my marriage. Help!”


“I farted next to a church and it stank so a nun cursed Jehova himself”

But I keep reading.

And posting.

And responding.

I’m helping out a 48 year-old man who hates his fat wife with reassuring statements of hope and support. Eventually I get vindictive and betray him, accuse him of being an unassertive, deformed man-child equipped with a bunch of excuses and a lizard penish that breaks off and regenerates when he gets stressed. Don’t ask me.

I’m angry.
I’m informative.
I’m a disenchanted yogi from India addicted to heroin.
I am the foremost reservoir of knowledge about which type of woman is the WORST in bed.
I am both intrigued and outraged by your refreshingly stupid racism.
I am training my colobus monkey to post for me.
I could care less.

One woman wants to know why men are stupid.
One man says we just are.
One man asks her to please his man-rod.
One man says bitch.

Four people take this post as a segue to introduce their socio-political perspectives on dumb white bitches, the white cock that dominates all it surveys, asian girls that serve the white cock in a misplaced symbol of eurogamatic ass-slappery, and how to serve the white cock in a majestic American cuisine known as “DickLoaf”

It’s enough to make me climb to the top of the closest building, whip your dick around like one of those flowing ribbons in that compulsory gymnastic event I can’t remember while alternating between fucking men, women, and emus simply so I can have the most enlightened perspective on all topics. I would then bare my buttocks, pull out a wireless laptop, and begin slapping my behind upon the keys, posting whatever nonsense my asscheeks had chosen to create.

Of course, nobody would notice. Well, maybe not.

MAYBE some enlightened granola would inform me that I am hateful and need to find my inner tree sloth before posting with my ass from the top of a building. Then some tie-wearing, lexus driving Aryan air biscuit would respond telling them to shut up and quit taxing the MONEY he makes at GroinSniff & Apathy Investments. Then, someone else would try to “lay down the law” with some common sense “no bullshit” directness that gets ignored on AdultFriendFinder like the bums they didn’t give any change to outside their place of employment.

What a world.

norprin5 55M

4/17/2006 4:44 pm

well said...i think...

King Nor XVIII

saddletrampsk 54F

4/17/2006 6:49 pm

great post..

just a quick question though..are those colobus monkeys easy to train to blog? I think I should get a couple of my lil blog corner here..

frogger1995 39F

4/17/2006 8:29 pm

You must be reading different posts than I...though I did recognize one there

WellhungTrigger 42M
282 posts
4/17/2006 10:58 pm

Wow, I'm sure Hitler is crying!

For the record, fat girls do not just want money. They just want support!


motoracergsxr750 46M
8 posts
4/18/2006 9:52 am

my thoughts exactly.

cigarlover2006 58M

4/19/2006 8:31 am

your thoughts are the glitter my soul needs to function for yet another day. keep your legs up ,and can i spank your monkey??

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