Looking for smoking hot girl to share our home  

sfvcpl818 51M/51F
417 posts
3/21/2006 5:30 pm

Last Read:
3/29/2006 6:56 pm

Looking for smoking hot girl to share our home

I'm looking for an incredibly beautiful girl to share our great and spacious home. Why does our next addition to the abode have to be a gorgeous bisexual girl, 24-27, with fantastic funbags? Because we want it that way, that's why.

I spend everyday dealing with complete cockbites, only to come home and deal with one more cockbite fucktard, and I'm tired of it. For once, I want something to look forward to, and it's certainly not going to be my job.

So if someone has suggested that you should be on America's Top Model, or could be (better yet, have been) in Playboy, than you may just have what it takes to be my next roommate.

In all fairness though, it will take more than just being a scorching hottie to be our pleasure unit ... err ... play thing ... err ... roommate, it will also take lots of sex. You will also have to put up with the following:

Our friends will always be over to check you out
We will always be trying to check you out
We will move all of your food to the bottom drawer of the refrigerator, just so we can watch you bend over and get it (Oh, yeah! Get those apples from the crisper, you dirty girl!)
We will make every attempt possible to "accidentally" bump into you as you are on your way out of the shower.
We will constantly try to get you drunk so that we can advantage of you. Sadly, in attempting this, I will get myself much more drunk than you could ever be, and promptly get myself taken advantage by someone much less desirable.
We will make you play 20 questions with me, and every time we will be thinking of oral sex with you.
We will never make eye contact with you, because we will be staring at your sweater puppets.
We will hound you to be part of our amateur photography collection.
We will eat all of your food (we're lazy and cheap as well).

If this sounds reasonable to you, write a 5000 word essay on why you would be a good roommate for us. Then, throw that out and send us a hot picture of you instead. As long as you are hot, we really don't care what you do. You could be a heroin addicted, neo nazi, puppy-killer, but as long as you look like one of the girls from a Vivid video series, we don't care.

And please don't be allergic to leather straps or metal restraints or plastic toys designed to push the envelope on fully consensual adult pleasure?

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