Dear cat: Please do not disturb the blinds when I am watching porn  

sfvcpl818 51M/51F
417 posts
4/13/2006 12:14 am

Last Read:
4/15/2006 3:17 am

Dear cat: Please do not disturb the blinds when I am watching porn


Dear cat,

The dude is away for three days, and though I am a person of strong will, three days is simply too long to bear without working the coochie out. I don’t expect you to understand this need as you no longer have your ovaries, but trust me when I say, I NEED to.

If you ever took the CAT SATs, you might have seen this example analogy:

Getting off : me :: licking your ass : you.

Having established that, I request of you: Please do not disturb the fucking blinds when I'm watching porn!

You’re a cat, not a dog, so don’t give me that puppy-eyed look. You know what you’re doing. As soon as I settle back in my chair with some hot chick doing all the things that I won’t, full-screen, you awaken from a dead sleep and run through the floor-to-ceiling blinds. I often shriek and my hard nipples, brilliantly backlit by the glow of the monitor, fall soft like a rhubarb stalk at the bottom of a Safeway bin. For the love of my happiness and reputation, or my love of my reputation, keep on sleeping when I’m a’ rubbing.

I should have gotten a ferret.

Hugs and purrs,

Your owner.

P.S. And don’t stare at my tits. You give the same look to a string before you’re about to pounce on it. That frightens me.

qship52 63M

4/13/2006 12:28 am

Hah! Someone else who has a problem with Sex with Pets!

You'd better be worried when a cat stares at you, and gets that tail twitching back and forth. They WILL pounce on you!


GoddessOfTheDawn 105F
11238 posts
4/13/2006 12:43 am


LOL

~handz ova mini blindfold~


BlondieInOz 34F

4/13/2006 1:21 am

OMG I nearly peed myself laughing


im_your_man77 39M
961 posts
4/13/2006 1:44 am

Reading a blog shouldn't be this much fun. With the wit and sarcasm that comes out both barrels there really should be a health warning on entry.


Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
4/13/2006 3:06 am

Crazy cat! there always up to something,


DIVISION77 39M  
8321 posts
4/13/2006 3:10 am

You need to regulate your pets.

Set boundaries. It's the only way they learn.

Cat are like women, always testing the limits.

If you can't see the irony in that, you are missing the point.

DIV

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur


papyrina 50F
21133 posts
4/13/2006 3:32 am

haha i know exactly what you mean,mine follow me to bed when they know i'm in a play alone mood,the stupid male cats dives all over the bed at the sound of my vibrator looking for it


I'm a

and
i'm here to stay


alphuctup 40M

4/13/2006 6:10 am

I'm struggling to control the urge to insert a random pussy gag!


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