Dear : I Got your Wallet  

sfvcpl818 51M/51F
417 posts
4/14/2006 8:10 pm

Last Read:
4/17/2006 10:46 am

Dear : I Got your Wallet

Dear Tom B. of Culver City,

I found your wallet.

Saturday night you came on to me. I turned you down politely but you had to get a little nasty and huff off. That wasn’t enough for you though, because then you took it a step further and sexually and verbally assaulted me by the bathrooms 20 minutes later. In your haste to depart after I started to yell, you dropped your wallet out of your coat pocket. Bummer.

I’m so sorry to report that your wallet inadvertently landed in the ocean, somewhere along Manhattan Beach, I think. Oh yeah, and I’m afraid that condom that expired in 1999, your credit cards, ATM, and social security card (you really shouldn’t carry that around, you know) accidentally fell onto the street somewhere on Vine Street. Oops. (What else do you expect from a "stupid bitch" like me who has the audacity to reject you?)

Since your wallet is now in the sea, I didn’t know where to send the money. I tried the phone book under "Funny-looking- -With-Foul-Breath"” and “Short-Dude-With-Chip-On-Shoulder” and even "Slightly-Retarded-Looking-Guy-With-Bad-Toupee” but, alas, there were no listings.

Since you spent part of the night telling me stories that emphasized how sensitive and caring you are, I figured you’d be happy to know that I donated the rather large sum of cash to a crisis center.

Hopefully the next you are involved in will be your own. In prison.

~ The "Stupid Bitch" who rejected you.

digdug41 49M

4/15/2006 4:48 am

I couldn't help but ROFLMMFAO at this you have quite a way with words

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

KMA5 40M
771 posts
4/15/2006 3:39 pm

I forsee many unexplained accidents around his household in the near future

qship52 63M

4/16/2006 7:35 pm

I'm kind of smiling at the justice of it all, along with the thought that Tom B really, really had a poor choice of a victim.

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