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60 reasons a Vibrator is better than a Man
60 reasons a Vibrator is better than a Man
1.It understands if I'm suddenly no longer in the mood.
2. It would never dream of cheating on me
3. It's always ready, willing and able.
4. It's never rough or angry.
5. It never gives me the silent treatment.
6. It never treats me like shit for no reason.
7. It never bosses me around.
8. It never stops doing what it's doing, right when I'm about to come.
9. It costs very little to maintain.
10.It never hogs the remote.
1. It doesn't make requests.
2. It goes at my pace.
3. It gets me off FASTER than a man.
4. It gets me off more intensely than a man.
5. It doesn't mind if I want to fall asleep after I get off.
6. It doesn't slap my ass.
7. It doesn't make me get on my knees and get hit from the back.
8. I don't have put on any sort of theatrical performance to get off.
9. I am never ashamed to wear granny undies in front of it.
10. It doesn't stop suddenly to answer its cellphone.
1. It never asks me to suck its dick
2. It never asks me to swallow
3. It never pushes my head down towards it and tries to force me to give it a blow job.
4. It never can’t get up and begs for some oral to assist it in rising to the occasion.
5. It never spits nasty cum at me.
6. It doesn’t leave a nasty wet spot.
7. It doesn’t pout and make me feel like I’m fucking a small child
8. It doesn’t think natural bodily functions are taboo.
9. It doesn’t make crude comments about “periods”, PMS or anything to do with douches.
10. It makes me happy, really, really happy
1. It has manners
2. It is never insensitive or crude
3. It doesn’t bring up all its other lovers
4. It never tells me the same boring conquest story over and over
5. It never watches sports on TV
6. It never goes out and has revenge sex
7. It has attachments that come in various sizes and colors to meet ALL my needs
8. It is always there when I need it.
9. It likes ME best, not its car, team or mother.
10. Its better sex that any sex I ever had with a man and it never minds if I have a man join in on the fun
1. It never tells me I’m fat
2. It never criticizes me
3. It never makes me feel like a cheap whore (unless I want it to)
4. It never demands a blowjob, as if it is his God given right.
5. It guarantees satisfaction and multiple orgasms
6. It never whines or begs
7. It never demands sex in repayment for dinner or a movie
8. Its always FUN to be around
9. It doesn’t need a bunch of coddling to perform
10. It doesn’t snore, belch, fart or hog the covers.
1. It lasts longer than 5 minutes.
2. It's reliable and doesn't talk back.
3. I don't have to clean its dirty laundry.
4. It's ready ALL of the time.
5. It has never lied to me.
6. It is ALWAYS 8.5", even soft.
7. It doesn't look at other women.
8. It's always happy to see me.
9. No risk of catching an STD.
10. It doesn't stay out all night (w/o me).
3/29/2006 7:00 am
oh my u hit this on the head definately gf! i love this! lmao!|
3/29/2006 7:39 am
You forgot some things:|
1. It never speak to you.
2. It never tenders you.
3. It has no battery when you need it the most.
4. You have to teach it all the time how to pleasure you.
5. You have to clean it after it pleasures you.
6. It never hugs you when you feel down.
7. It never buys you a present.
8. It never invites you for a dinner.
9. It doesn't protect you when you are attacked.
10.It has no personality at all.
...and many more! But if you prefer a vibrator, then make love (not sex!) with a vibrator if you can. I wish you GOOD LUCK! For sure you will need it!
3/29/2006 7:42 am
Can't think of a reason you missed. Oh, except this one: You never have to spend Thanksgiving watching Stupidbowl on TV with its boring family.|
The one thing I've noticed that my whole fucking collection of vibes lacks, however, is the warmth of human touch. If I could figure out how to get that, I'd give up on men altogether.
Oh, also my vibe is not that great a conversationalist. Is yours?
Check out my blog Bi-Poly-Babe for more sensual, sexual pleasure!
3/29/2006 7:53 am
3/29/2006 7:55 am
HEHEHEHE!!! You are delish sweetie!! I love mine too...every last one of them...and they never get jealous when I bring in another one to join us...and they never ask if I have a girlfriend who would like to join in (thats optional!!)Smooches u...QueenB|
Come on over...let's play in my Castle! The hide and seek is awesome!
3/29/2006 8:21 am
you never have to lie and tell it.."yeah that was the best I ever had" lol|
3/29/2006 9:25 am
LOL... Right the fuck on. I love it. Hey i Love my toys too.|
3/29/2006 9:28 am
I would send this to everyone I know if I could!
3/29/2006 10:12 am
A Vibe can't cut the grass though ... LOL|
3/29/2006 11:37 am
OH, and vibs never ask.. "Did you come yet?" |