"When Loneliness Kicks In ?"  

sexymom20069 48F
631 posts
7/17/2006 11:33 am
"When Loneliness Kicks In ?"

Don't you just hate it ? Male and Females alike. You find someone who brightens your day with a simple email and a call at least once a week , then something happens. They leave you , no reason as to why ? But, you had a feeling from the beginning that sooner or later they would leave you ?

Last night , I couldn't sleep - no reason as to why. Lay down early about 11. I laid and laid , tossed and turn. Thoughts I tried to fight off , something he said in my email just kept eating away at me - I know I didn't do it . I wouldn't call him and not say anything even if she would have answered I would of said " Is (say some name ) there or say is this such and such number ? - make up a number close to but not his .

I got very close to sleep twice last night , once about 12:20 and my son comes in my room. Turns on the light cuz my oldest daughter calls. I get pissed off and grip him out - " You can bring my the fucking phone but don't turn on the damn light !" - shit I had a headache the rest of the night. Then about 1 to 2 hrs later the electric pops off and of for about 30 mins or so - and it gets hot in the process. I get an very upset stomach , fears of being left hits me big time.

An friend from last year IM's me and we talk and tease for a bit. Then I finally lay down at 5 am - and when I woke up - NO EMAIL from my new friend. So, did my fear about losing him cuz of what happened on Sat COME TRUE ? ? ? ? Only the next few days will tell. Maybe he couldn't email cuz his life is busy right now.
But, he always used to visit my blog but today he didn't. Maybe I was right all along about scaring him off and I did it finally without doing anything this time..

When loneliness kicks in - I get scared and cry some. I can't help it. My ex of 18 yrs was never there for me at my most times of need. I won't bore anyone with the details. Let's just say - he wasn't a very loving or caring man the last 15 yrs of our marriage.
I was told I stayed 15 yrs to long with him - LMAO..

"Good Luck and All my Best to All , Linda"

Become a member to create a blog