steak and crackers??  

sexydisaster30 41F
5527 posts
3/1/2006 8:10 am

Last Read:
11/25/2006 9:49 pm

steak and crackers??

Disclaimer: I understand that we are all here for separate reasons. I am not looking to piss anyone off with this post.

I have clearly stated on my profile that I am not interested in married men. I still believe in the sanctity of marriage. I may be living in a fairy tale world with my thinking that there is someone out there that I can be happy with forever. Leave me alone it is my fairy tale. I got the most interesting email today and since I am sure that this person most likely does not read my blog or any blogs for that matter I would like to know all of your opinions on it so I am going to post it.

You are quite intriguing. And I think we might actually hit it off if we met.
But it is truly unfortunate that you summarily dismiss any man who is married or in a serious relationship. Especially if you are merely looking to meet some fun people while waiting for "him." (Or rather, "HIM."
You see, marriage (and serious relationships in general) are not all they are cracked up to be. Sure, it is great to have someone who will always be there for you and be your friend and soul mate, but after a while, the long-term relationship becomes a saltine cracker.
Saltine cracker? Let me explain. In the beginning of a relationship, things are new, fresh, exciting - let's just say it's like a filet mignon dinner. As time rolls on, however, the newness wears off. After an extended period of time, what was once a filet mignon is now a saltine cracker.
Make no mistake, saltines are tasty. In fact, you can dress them up to make quite an emjoyable snack. But nothing beats the taste of filet. Once married, however, filet is off the menu forever. Unless you can have filet elsewhere on occasion. In fact, it makes the saltine more enjoyable between filet dinners. (Let's face it, no one could expect to eat filet EVERY DAY).
In a nutshell, the newness is gone. The feeling of the first kiss. The feeling of the first touch. Learning what makes a woman smile or laugh (or purr) for the first time...gone. (Don't think this theory is one-sided, either. I have several female friends who attest that this theory is a two-way street.)
So ruling out married men and men in serious relationships should not be a per se rule. Those guys aren't automatically creepy or sleazy. In fact, some of us are quite enjoyable to be around.
Therefore, in the event you ever consider relaxing those staunch requirements for meeting someone for a good time, send me a message. (Or send one to my personal email - xxxxxxxxx).
Heck, even if you want to debate my theory. I'm game. In fact, I'd love to meet someone who could find the flaws in the reasoning.
Hope to hear from you...

I find this incredibly interesting. I cannot believe that this guy is comparing marriage to steak and crackers. Is it really like this? Is this what I have to look forward to if my fairy tale comes true? Am I just being naive thinking that I can actually find someone that will be happy with me forever???


caressmewell 53F

3/1/2006 9:41 am

You see, marriage (and serious relationships in general) are not all they are cracked up to be. Sure, it is great to have someone who will always be there for you and be your friend and soul mate, but after a while, the long-term relationship becomes a saltine cracker.
Marriage is a partnership of is what BOTH parties make it to be. It's not going to be exciting each day..but there are times when it will simply take your breath away. It's not only about having someone there for you or finding your soul mate. We still grow and change during our marriages and I think this allows us to rediscover our mates over and mover..if we chose to put forth the effort.

Maybe he's really the cracker in his seems that he is willing to put forth the effort to look for excitment outside of his marriage but not within his marriage.

ohsodelicious 57F
1922 posts
3/1/2006 10:20 am

Sounds like a crock of 'cheese and crackers' to me...I think in a marriage/relationship...what you put into the relationship = what you get from the relationship...Humm! does that sound right!! Oh, well!!
And because you are having a 'rough' day..

A Big 'ol Hug...OhSo{=}

elbman 41M  
2566 posts
3/1/2006 10:58 am

I've heard that "argument/theory" before. A couple of amusing rebuttals which spring to mind are:

1. I’m on Adtkins therefore I CAN have filet every day if I want.
2. Sorry but I’m not interested in something off the buffet menu.

My response is:

The entire marriage / relationship is like a good steak, it must be marinated and attended to on a timely basis. If it isn’t it will either be too rare or overdone and forgotten. You have crackers, and not even Graham Crackers, because that’s what you choose to have, they’re easy, simple and require no effort. Now you look for your steak elsewhere; which although sometimes tasty, you could have already made for yourself.

MyRealLoverOne 46M

3/1/2006 4:46 pm

I hope you are right or I will be dissappointed myself!

eyewillxplore 47M

3/1/2006 5:07 pm

I agree with the others. If Cracker-Boy put as much time into his marriage as he is into finding something outside, he'd be surprised at the outcome.

I've never married, and I may be naive. But I like to think that way!!!

jadedbabe78 105F

3/1/2006 8:46 pm

You are not naive for thinkinh the way you do!

Repeating what others have already have to grow within your marriage or relationship. You have to give and get the same effort. When it becomes one sided so much, that is when the other half feels less than adequate.

Both people have to be willing to put forth the effort. It's not up to one and this guy is trying to justify his actions. Basically, he's saying it's ok for him to cheat because he wants variety instead of adding some spice to his own.

It's not easy. Nothing worth having though *is* easy. And there are men out there who believe in working together and making a marriage or serious relationship grow instead of floundering.

Sometimes, it does take an eye opener, too, to make one realize they truly do need to work and actually keep to their word on changing.


aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/5/2006 8:52 am

I think this guy is looking for you validation. I agree w/ valley. He just needs to get the hell out of his marriage. I don't believe that I would have the ability to look around if I were in a marriage or serious relationship. During my entire 4 year engagement, I NEVER looked around. I never did it during the bad times. Hell, she would point women for me. She was cool that way. I had numerous offers from her for a FFM, but couldn't take her up on it b/c I loved her so much.

I would tell him to quit seeking validation for his being fucked up and to go to the grocery store and buy his damn filet. It would be much cheaper for him in the end.

Peche85 31F

3/6/2006 9:01 pm

I'm with you and everyone else on this on, if someone isn't happy in their marriage and doesn't want to work at it to fix it they should leave to give both partners a chance of happiness, instead of both of them living a lie.

I saw something somewhere (maybe on tv, maybe even in a blog, can't remember) about how these days so many people use divorce as an easy way out, its becomming so popular that couples just say "i'll divorce you if you don't..." and after just a few fights just decide to give up because the option of divorce is there.

Insatiable924man 45M
1 post
3/9/2006 4:03 pm

When you find the "one", it won't matter whether it's within the first few weeks, months, years, or decades of your relationship. The "one" is always your filet mignon. The newness should never wear off, and if over time the newness begins to fade, the "one" isn't afraid to go to the store to get the "spices" needed to bring the taste back.....

The "one" should always look at you as if you're a filet. That's true love....that's Great Love!

Sooner or later, as this guy you mentioned keeps going through filet after filet, let's just hope that sooner or later he catches a bad case of eColi!

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