Crap Email Edited By AAScrompn  

sexydisaster30 41F
5527 posts
3/8/2006 12:18 pm

Last Read:
11/25/2006 9:55 pm

Crap Email Edited By AAScrompn

Last night I was instant messenging with aascrompn and I was laughing at some of the emails that I got. Since we both needed a laugh I copied and pasted one to him. He told me what he would reply and I think that he was shocked that I actually did it. So then the fun began. We were both laughing so hard that I know I almost peed my pants. I copied and pasted………he replied. I sent every one of them and the funniest thing is that some of them responded. Please be advised that this was all in fun and if the truth is known I would have normally just deleted these emails, but his responses were just to damn funny.
Given the seriousness of my blog lately……….hell the seriousness of blogland lately, I thought that I would share these emails with you all. I hope that you laugh as hard as we did!!!

Initial email: whats up and how's it going.... i would like to get to know you better and see who you really are... maybe we could chat? Xxxxx

Reply: dear xxxxx, your email is so hot, i can forsee you getting a bj out of this.

Response from him this morning: are you being cute? i don't wanna sound brass or like an asshole, so i just said hi.... however a bj sounds so good about now? what do you like to do ? what are some things your into?

Does he really think that he is getting a bj out of that? I mean come on people you gotta work a little harder if you wan t me to put your cock in my mouth.

Initial email: It Would Be A Disaster If You Did Not Contact Me,Please Look At My Profile I Am Diferent In A Good Way,Let Me Take You To Costa Rica,Hope To Hear From You Soon,Love xxxxxx

Reply: Dear xxxxxx! I Would So Love To Go To Costa Rica With A Complete Stranger... Because That's What I Do... Please Call Me When The Plane Is On The Tarmac All Fueled Up, As I Still Have To Apply My Makeup. Luv Me.

Response from him: Can We Talk On The Phone I Think We Can Be Friends Then Dinner Then Then Maybe DL#1457,What Do You Say You Sexy Disaster,Hope To Hear From You Soon Love xxxxxx

Reply: Show Me The Money

Response: Call Me Wedensday And Lets See What Happins My Cell Mumber Is xxx-xxx-xxxx

He is kidding me right? Maybe I should start packing?

Initial email: So it is good to see that you are honest. I am on this site since i am tired of women that have no idea that there are men who do like to treat and romance a woman. And yes, I am familiar with the important areas of a woman

Reply: Draw me the areas, scan it, send it, and we'll talk

I haven’t heard back form him……..I guess he doesn’t know hoe to draw.

Initial email: Hi, my name is xxxx. I thought your profile & pic were great!!!! I'm 5'11" 175lbs very clean, safe, D/D free and fun to be with. Lets chat or talk and see what happens. I've attached my profile for you to view. I like sex alot, but value friendship at first more. Take care xxxx

Response: Screw friendship, let's just stick w/ unprotected sex!

I haven’t heard back from him either……wonder why?

Initial email: hi i live in atl. if u wanna meet reply back or write me on xxxxxxxxxx. We can do a dinner as a beginning if u like. Xxxxxx

Reply: i'm moving to alabama... we can do dinner there.

I guess he doesn’t want to travel to Alabama.

Initial email: i can tell ya now where your clit is lol im playin and you are sexy! check out my profile i have pics on there and then lets get together for dinner soon and see how it goes k?-xxxxx

Reply: xxxxx, they created punctuation for a reason... Use it!

No response here either.

Initial email: hey, lets keep in contact. i like your pic and profile and just want to say ... dinner?

Reply: When did we start contact??

He apparently has no reply to that. He is probably still scratching his head…..

Initial email: I am not sending you an e-mail with a list of things I want to do to you and I don't like pickup lines no matter how original.I too am looking for more than a one night stand but It doesn't seem like anyone knows what monogamous means anymore. Getting to know someone is the biggest factor and if there is any chemistry there it will be felt . I'm big on honesty and I really liked your profile it speaks a lot about character when it seems like everyone else on this site is just looking for one thing and then there are the ones you have to worry about with all the crazy people in the world .Don't have any pics on my profile yet but can send you can also reach me at xxxxxxxxxxx

Reply: Sorry, but I have to have pictures...

Still waiting on the pictures

Initial email: I have been hiding out on the sidelines waitng for the right time to jump into the game. Seems like the perfect opportunity! Timing is everything.

Reply: It's time to make the dougnuts...

No reply. Maybe he doesn’t like doughnuts?


Reply: OK... QUIT YELLING AT ME!!!!!!

Response: Sorry about that.

at least he knows now!!

Initial email: Just moved from Cleveland and would love to meet you

Reply: Find a map and start lookin

He still hasn’t found me………….should I hold out hope????

Initial email: Hello Sexy Disaster....!
I'm a respectful, sensual, nice looking, intelligent, confident, successful, emotionally balanced and financially stable, 5'11", divorced business executive with an off beat sense of humor living in Atlanta.
I'd like to meet a nice woman who is honest, intelligent, independent thinking with a mind of her own, who can articulate her feelings and desires and does not necessarily agree with everything I say...I'm not looking for a clone, but I am looking for someone who would like to meet for friendship and possibly more!
If you'd like to connect with an engaging, stable and nice person, let's chat further on the phone. You can call me on my cell xxx-xxx-xxxx anytime or send me your number and I'll contact you.
I hope I've piqued your interest for at least for one phone conversation!

Reply: You are not looking for friendship.....however, since you made a good presentation I will allow an email conversation to start.

Response: Hello Sexy.....Thanks for the was nice hearing from you. Do you want to e-mail via our e-mail addresses or here on AdultFriendFinder? By the way, what's your first name? xxxxxxx

Reply: No, Michael is not my first name... I like to stick here on AdultFriendFinder. I look forward to your suggestions.

Response: I live near xxx and xxx. Maybe you'd like to meet sometime for coffee and chat. Would you consider a conversation on the phone? I believe a phone conversation is a bit more personal and intimate than writing e-mails. I'm also not interested in a one night stand.
Meanwhile, what would you like to know about me?
Reply: nothing

I haven’t heard back…….

Initial email: I can not find the initial email here, but it said something like what kinds of things do you like to do
Reply: staying home, polishing your shoes, watching Oprah and knitting...

Response: I like to come home feed the dog, do dishes and during the spring plant some vegetables and flowers in the garden. I rent some dvds from blockbuster but hardly get to see them. If I am fortunate then I have a date, but its been a few weeks. Would you like to have dinner sometime?

Reply: You garden???

Response: I am currently leveling out my garden. I bought 25 railroad cross ties and I am using them to square off and level my garden. I have been gardening vegetables sine I was very young. My father was always growing corn, peas, beans, watermellon, squash. Last couple years I have been interested in trying to plant flowers. So I am getting an education in that. I planted wildflowers on my property in the mountains last year, they didn't turn out too well. What is your favorite flower? I have to be careful now. I just went to school last year for Massage Therapy and I am nationally certified with a building client base so I can't mess up my hands or even get callouses. I use gloves and don't overdo it. Talking about it with you has started me thinking about this year's plans. I will try planting lavender this spring.

WTF??? Is he serious?

This is my favorite one!!!!!

Initial email: Hi! I'm xxxxx... a 39 yr old guy, gettign "back out" there. I saw you profile and wanted to say hello. I was wondering if we could chat sometime and see what, if anything we have in common.Best Wishes,xxxxx

Reply: No xxxxx, we don't have much in common, from what I can tell. I have a program that helps me edit spelling and grammar mistakes...

Response: Sorry I don't have that same program... Must be nice to have such a condescending attitude.... Good luck on your search.. maybe Mr. Perfect is out there for you, (Hint - he probably won't go for the attitude either).

I treid to respond, but he blocked me LMAO!!!!!!!!!

Anyone want aascrompn's IM handle so he can help you with your emails?



elysianpleasure 47M

3/8/2006 6:48 pm

Funny stuff...

jadedbabe78 106F

3/8/2006 8:20 pm

LOL.....funny. I hate poor grammar myself. A typo or two is understandable, we all do it....but come on, right? LOL.

Thanks for the laugh . Both of you!


aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/8/2006 9:19 pm

This was really not my idea... she got me drunk first (not really hard to do) and made me do it. However, if you really want some help, just let me know... lol Seriously funny post, SD. I didn't think you were really going to post this.

aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/8/2006 9:20 pm

BTW - I love when jadey's cute little tush shows up in your blog...

ohsodelicious 57F
1922 posts
3/8/2006 10:00 pm

That was a blast reading...I have had some 'interesting' emails too!!

Glad you are in a better 'spirit'...Hugs...OhSo{=}

outdoorsman3174 42M

3/8/2006 11:33 pm


mattbrim69 45M

3/9/2006 3:50 am

that is soooo bad

pretty funny too

caressmewell 53F

3/9/2006 5:55 am

Geez you two..

bardicman 50M

3/9/2006 7:33 am

I am seriously laughing my ass off.

I am also wondering... which one of you two responded to the email I sent you.....


I am not dead yet

wantonwill 60M

3/9/2006 7:44 am haven't laughed this well in some time...I thank you for making my day. Spending over twenty years in school(in pursuit of my Master's) has taught me to be very careful with spelling, grammar, and punctuation.

I'm not much of a gardener, but I do like coffee. Having travelled extensively, and having had sex in over 6 countries on 3 continents, I am well versed in the female that would give us a lot to coverse about. The travel that is, wouldn't want to spoil coffee or lunch with chit-chat on the clit-clat!

I would trust that you wouldn't consider this crap mail, but I would like to hear about how you and Scrompin might respond.

GoddessOfTheDawn 105F
11240 posts
3/9/2006 10:07 am

~ poutz ~ ummm ... can I change my handle to Anyone?

LMAO, thx 4 a much needed laugh

ByteChaser2 53M

3/9/2006 10:31 am

I think those same guys are emailing me too... especially mr. caps-lock

rm_Kissmystuff 61F
1435 posts
3/9/2006 1:04 pm

Tooooo funny!

Great idea though...having a guy answer the emails from the guys...probably hits home.



rm_niblickVT 63M

3/9/2006 3:47 pm

This reminds me of a friend who told me that the most common response to her ad was "Hey, baby! Let's fuck!" And men wonder why they don't get laid more.

elbman 41M  
2566 posts
3/9/2006 4:41 pm

Lol....I wanna play, SD will you reply to the ones aascrompn keeps sending me?

rm_Pashun8Punk 46M

3/10/2006 10:05 am

Disaster is the perfect moniker for you. I read blogs when I'm bored and I thought I'd look at yours. What a bitch. This is a sex and swinger site. Do you think making fun of men is going to get you anywhere? Have a little more compassion for those lonely men.

bardicman 50M

3/10/2006 11:34 am

Pashun8punk - This IS a "sex and swinger" site. I fail to realize how a sex site equivalates into a be "rude and thoughtless" to women site. Woman are subjected to all kinds of rude and crude emails from men who think because they are horny someone needs to shut their mouth and open their legs.

I am offended at your use of the word bitch to someone whom I consider a friend. Someone whom you do not know and yet you can call her a bitch and order her to have compassion, all in the same thought.

I would think that the person not going anywhere here would be you.

I thank you in advance for your forthcoming apology to SD.

I am not dead yet

bardicman 50M

3/10/2006 5:58 pm

Not as glad as I am SD.

Hmmm I am glad your name is not Sexy_The_Disaster.


I am not dead yet

LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/10/2006 6:57 pm

I think I'll gte mine edited BEFORE I send any out from now on...LMAO...


Lioness_girl 45F
3494 posts
3/11/2006 12:25 pm

I sure got a laugh out of this one....and for Pashun, he has no sense of humor. You two are just bad! LOL


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