Tragedy About Men  

sexycplhre 55M/45F
79 posts
9/1/2006 6:15 am

Last Read:
9/4/2006 5:37 am

Tragedy About Men

Thought 1 #

When we are born, our mother's get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance. What do women want to be liberated from?

# Thought 2 #

The average man's life consists of:
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,
Forty years of having his wife ask the same question; and
At the end, the mourners wondering too.

# Thought 3 #

A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you
take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road.
Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step
a car will run over you, and you will die."
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the
corner, barely missing him.
The man asked. "Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when I got married?"

# Thought 4 #

Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her
father escorted her down the aisle to give away to groom.
They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father
and placed some thing in his hand.
Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by bride.
The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to
divulge the secret and say something.
So he announced "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my
life." Then he raises his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued,
"My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me."
The whole audience including priest started laughing but not the poor groom.

bluelagoon4u2 56M/37F

9/2/2006 7:22 am

excellent - I like the Mae West quotes as well...

When I'm good I'm very good, but when I'm bad I'm better.
A hard man... is good to find
It's not the men in my life that counts -- it's the life in my men.
He who hesitates is last.
I go for two kinds of men. The kind with muscles, and the kind without.
So many men... so little time
Too much of a good thing... can be wonderful
Why don't you come on up and see me sometime.. when I've got nothin' on but the radio.
I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
A man in love is like a clipped coupon -- it's time to cash in.
A man in the house... is worth two in the street
Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
It's better to be looked over, than overlooked
Give a man a free hand... and he'll run it all over you
Good sex is like good Bridge... If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand
To err is human -- but it feels divine
His mother should have thrown him away...and kept the stork
I don't like myself, I'm crazy about myself.
"Goodness, what beautiful diamonds !" Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie
I like two kinds of men: domestic and imported
When a girl goes wrong, men go right... after her
I'm the lady who works at Paramount all day... and Fox all night.
Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
I used to be Snow White... but I drifted
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day, and another, in case it doesn't rain
I've been rich and I've been poor... Believe me, rich is better
It's hard to be funny...when you have to be "clean"
I like my clothes to be tight enough to show I'm a woman... but loose enough to show I'm a lady.
She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success... wrong by wrong
You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction... but the second meeting shows up new angles
You can say what you like about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.
Those who are easily shocked... should be shocked more often
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
You ought to get out of those wet clothes... and into a dry martini

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