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The service for Ronnie Barker yesterday brought these little gems back....
The Two Ronnies:
The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on
The search for the man who terrorises nudist camps with a bacon slicer goes on. Inspector Lemuel Jones had a tip-off this morning, but hopes to be back on duty tomorrow
On a packed show tonight, we’ll be talking to an out-of-work contortionist who can no longer make ends meet
Porridge (Prison series)
Porridge Doctor: I want you to fill one of those containers for me.
Fletcher (other side of the room): What, from ’ere?
Porridge: (Playing Monopoly) Would you Adam and Eve it? Go to jail!
He'll be missed. RIP
3/4/2006 9:11 am
HAVE you heard the one about the retired general who said he had not had sex since 1956? His friend said: "`That's a long time ago." "I don't know," the general replied, "it's only 20.27 now."|
THE man who invented the zip fastener was today honoured with a lifetime peerage. He will now be known as the Lord of the Flies.
A NEW publishing venture was announced today, the Stock Breeders Gazette and Playboy magazine are to get together to produce the Farmer Sutra.
ARNOLD Crump, a 6ft 9ins, ham-fisted, hairy drunk with a short temper, bad breath, acne, dandruff and fleas, was named by Scotland Yard today as Britain's most unwanted man.
Oh, here's a few more......
A FAMOUS Spoonerism from sitcom Open All Hours: "Don't just crit there siticising."
GEORGE Mumble the Bodmin man who swallowed 200 weight of laxative for a bet on coronation night has celebrated his Silver Jubilee. He's been on the throne for 25 years.
3/4/2006 7:01 pm
I love brit humour..|
3/6/2006 1:05 am
I have no clue .... but he surely is missed|