just the way you are  

sexyasianangel70 38F
214 posts
6/7/2006 5:16 pm
just the way you are

As he grabbed my arm again I screamed and tried to fight him off kicking out at him then I launched forward and bite into the side of his face, he pushed me away and slapped me" your nothing but a cheep dirty whore I cant believe I wasted my time with you just go, go on" and he pushed me over onto the wet street, everyone stared at me I felt humiliated and degraded, who did he think he was? I started to walk off; I just wanted to get as far away from him as I could and never come back.

Something hit the back of my head and again I fell to the floor,

"If I ever see you again it will be far too soon" he screamed after me.

I started to run I wanted to free myself from him I couldn't believe he would do that to me, after all this time.
We had been going out for a year almost now, and I had given myself to him completely, now I had completely regretted it, I was pregnant, that was what the argument was all about, I thought he would have stuck by me instead he had made a fool of me in front of everyone calling me a cheep whore saying I had slept with lots of other people and the child wasn't his, it wasn't true I had never been with another ever he was my first and only and I thought I loved him but I also though he loved me.

How much had I got it wrong though, on the way home I wept bitterly, I knew that I had to tell my parents, I had no idea how they were going to react, I knew I had shamed them totally and bought disgrace on the family I hoped my mother would understand but my father being an outstanding citizen and a devout catholic, I knew he was going to be outraged, but I had to tell them I knew what I had done was an immortal sin, having a baby outside of wed lock but I needed help I wouldn't be able to hide it for long.

When I got home I ran upstairs and fell onto my bed, the sun streamed through the window lighting up the room but my eyes where red and tear soaked how would I be able to tell my parents and what were they going to do. How had I ever been so stupid and got myself into this situation. He wasn't going to take responsibility he had made that very clear.

I heard the front door go and knew it was my mum home" Patricia, honey would you come and help me with the tea please your father will be home soon", I wiped my eyes and went downstairs to help her.

"what on earths the matter dear, why have you been crying, is it George again, now come on you know he will be round later apologizing he really cares for you, now wipe your eyes don't let your father see you like that you know what he's like" she was busying herself but the idea that she thought George really cared for me just made me worse and I broke down crying" he doesn't care about me, he wont be coming back, oh ma what am I going to do" I ran to her and she put her arms around me holding me tightly.

"Come on dear it can't be that bad" she said looking at me holding my head in her hands,

"he doesn't care about me ma, he made me pregnant now he doesn't want to know" I sobbed, she dropped my head and stood there looking at me" what did you just say?" she said in a strange tone "your what" she turned away from me then swiftly turned back slapping my cheek so hard my head spun round and I dropped to the floor.

"but ma please I need your help, I know your upset but I am too and I'm scared please ma help me" I looked at her searching for the slightest look of pity in her eyes but there was none she had gone pale and just stared at me, I reached forward to grip onto her skirt but he pushed me off.

"Get upstairs and stay there till your father comes home I can't look at you" she said to me in such a solemn and demanding voice and tone I had never heard her use before.

"but ma I need your help, please ma" I begged her trying to cling to her tears rolling down my cheeks, but she pushed me away again.

"Do as I say you dirty little slut, i don't want to look at you" she screamed at me.

I made my way upstairs, and lay on my bed and waited for my father to come home.

I heard my father's car pulling up and ran to the top of the stairs but ma demanded I went to my room said she had to speak to my father first and that I was to stay out of sight.

I lay alone in my bedroom and it went deadly silent downstairs no screaming or shouting or anything not a word then the door went and I heard my fathers car leave the drive.

It was getting late when the door opened and my father was escorted into the house my two officers his hands were covered in blood and I sat a the top of the stairs and heard what was being said my father had gone down to Georges house and told his father what was happening there had been a fight and my father was involved in hitting George and his father, I couldn't bear to listen to any more so i went to my bedroom and sobbed myself to sleep in my pillow.

THUD the door went with a bang and I was dragged from my bed by hair and landed with a crash on the floor, I saw my father standing over me with tears in his eyes, and his belt in his hand he lifted it above his head and started laying into me beating me with his belt hitting every part of my body through my light nightie every part of my stinging as though it were on fire.

I could feel every lash as it cut into my body and I curled myself up into a ball to try to hid as much of my poor body away from the relentless beating of the heavy leather strap, I could feel my nightie getting damp as I wet myself in sheer terror this man who had played with me and only ever shown me love and tenderness was now releasing a dark side which I had never seen, all his fury was pouring out on me as the strap was still mercilessly hitting my flesh cutting my mouth as it caught my face and onto my back again.

"Please pa please" I screamed begging for mercy, but he kept beating me until he had no strength left.
He slumped onto my bed still crying" how could you do this to me, how could you" he kept saying over and over again. I just lay there on the floor in a puddle of my own urine, sobbing pitifully rubbing every part of my body I could reach, the pain was immense and was all I could think about it as he got up and left the room.
In the morning I was awoken by my father as he came into my room with a case and started throwing my clothes into it,

"Please pa I don't want to go anywhere" I cried" please pa" he just looked at me and slammed the case shut then grabbed my bedraggled hair and pulled me downstairs and hustled me into the car.

The trip was long and silent I was still in my pee stained nightie and I smelt like urine too, I tried to talk to my father several times but he didn't even look at me he just kept driving.

When the car stopped outside this massive house I could see lots of girls there working, cleaning. most of them it was obvious they were also pregnant huge lumps in front of them my father turned to me" this is where you will stay till you've had that bastard child then when he has gone you may return home but you are never to mention it to us again we will come for you when it is all over.

"but pa I don't know I if I want the baby or not I hadn't thought about it, I don't want to be taken away from home, please pa cant we talk about this cant ma bring the baby up" I had never thought about having to give the baby up and I certainly didn't want to made to leave home.

"your mother wants nothing to do with you or the bastard, when its over you may come home, but you are never to mention this again do you understand?" he never even looked at me while he said this kept his head forward all the time while a stout looking women got my case from the boot then opened the door and told me to get out the car.

"Don't you worry we will take car of her, she will earn her keep and we will inform you when you may come and pick her up" my father looked directly at her but never spoke he just started the engine and drove off.
"get in the house you dirty little slut you stink I can see your going to be some trouble, I always know the ones who are going to be trouble as soon as I see them" she chucked my case at me and dragged me into the house by my arm, I could see my fathers car fad away into the distance.

I was hustled into this small room were here was a shower my case was taken from me by another member of the staff and I was roughly pushed forward and then striped by this women and shoved under the freezing cold shower.

I stood there shivering under the cold flowing water as the two other women stood there watching me closely could feel their watching me examining every part of my naked goose pimpled figure. I could feel them staring at the deep red marks allover me of the strap which my father had beaten me with the night before, they still stood out a bright flame red color and the water stung when it hit a part where the leather had broken the skin.
I was chucked a towel and dragged into a small bedroom with two small single beds crammed into it which left little room to move let alone for any furniture just two small boxes one each at the foot of each bed with night clothes folded and placed onto it.

I was pushed onto the bed the towel taken away from me so I was naked again onto of the bed then the two women came forward an pushed me down so I was lying down on top of the bed and they forced my legs apart" if you struggle it will only make things worse, now lye down with your feet and knees apart so we can examine you child".

I did as I was told and I could feel my buttock cheeks clam up as the women stared to pry taking a god look first, my face reddened with sheer embarrassment as one of the women inserted a few fingers inside my fanny and I could feel it as she moved them around and then she smiled as she pulled them out again.

"well id say you were around two months pregnant so a long while to go yet, dinners at 5 bed at 8 breakfast at 6 work in-between shower mon thurs and Sunday although I made an exception today but you did smell like you'd lived in a pig pen, speak only when spoken to and no fraternizing or conversations with the other girls allowed, i like peace and quiet, understand" she asked me

"Yes" I replied," you will refer to me or any other member of staff here as miss at all times," she said looking at me,

"Yes miss" I replied my head bowed, my eyes concentrating now on the hard cold wooden floor.

They left me I the room to get changed into some clothes they placed on the bed for me, and I was requested to be ready and downstairs for dinner.

I sat on the bed getting slowly dressed looking around my strange new environment I know found myself in. I couldn't help but think of home and my eyes flooded with tears, at the thought of my fathers face last night the horrified look of dread in his eyes as he mercilessly beat me.

My head flooded with repentance and hatred for George, why me how come I would be the only one paying for this I would have to carry, bear then part with this child while he was safely back in the town probably sinning with another girl getting her into trouble, how I hated him, how I hated myself for letting him do this to me.

The time passed and I made my way downstairs for tea my eyes widened at the sight of this huge table running the length of the dining room and a smaller one at the top, and then the girls pilled in all finding somewhere to sit so I joined them and seated myself on the far end of the table nearest the door and we all sat in silence and waited.

The staff came in and sat down at the small table at the top, then the big doors opened and more girls came in carrying the food for the main table big bowels of bread and cooked meat and vegetables and mountains of gravy and placed them in front of the staff then went and fetched the bowels of watery vegetable soup for the rest of us.

We all waited for the staff to eat first, then we slowly ate our small measly portions of cold watery vegetable soup, watching them tuck into their feast and looking at my pitiful bowel made me realized this place was going to be hard to bear.

After our meal we all filed into lines and I followed them to the laundry room where we were all set to work doing not only our own but other items too from people in the nearby town, I didn't realize it then but this was to be where I would work from now on from six in the morning till eight at night every single day.

My first night was hard I was sobbing in my bed when the other girl in my room turned to me and whispered" you ok" she was about my age with light blonde hair and blue eyes and she sounded really concerned it was the first time anyone had sounded like they had cared since i had come here.

"I just wish none of this had ever happened" I sobbed

"Don't we all, hi I'm Sarah" she said to me

"I'm patrica" I said" patty," I looked at her as she lay the light from the moon shining in her hair.

"Well patty how far are you?" she asked I looked at her puzzled "with the pregnancy" she said looking at me

"I'm four months already," she said stroking her belly.

"I'm two I think I'm not sure" I watched her as she caressed her belly" are you giving the baby up?" I asked

"I've got no choice, id love to keep it though" I could see I had touched a nerve as tears began to well up in her eyes.

"I've never thought about it but I have to give mine up too" I said

"of course you have, if you were keeping it you wouldn't be in this dump with the rest of us would you" she said gulping back the tears," they sell the babies to rich families who cant have kids of their own, at least I know it will be looked after but," she stopped and the tears began to flow freely now, I looked at her I could see she really did want the baby she really loved it, I went over to her bed and put my arms around her and squeezed her tight trying to comfort her I let my fingers run through her hair and lifted her head with my hands like mother used to with me " it will be alright its all for the best, it will be loved and cared for and will never want for anything i promise" I said to her but the tears carried on flowing steadily I pulled my legs up on the bed and lay down with her holding her, I could feel her tears soaking through my nightie and moistening my breasts and she buried her head deeper into my chest her sobs became more muffled and i lowered my head onto hers and kissed her crown.

I could feel a strange energy flowing over me and my fanny began to throb I couldn't understand this feeling but never the less it was there.

We must have fallen asleep together and in the morning when the bell rang loudly for us to dress for breakfast I was still holding her she looked up at me and we stared at each other for a minute then hurriedly dressed for breakfast.

Breakfast was nothing special cold porridge but at least it was a good bowel full and satisfied my hunger which was better then the measly meal I had had here there the night before, I sat at the side of Sarah at breakfast but we never said a word as talking was not allowed.

It was a hard day scrubbing and cleaning all the laundry and by bed time my feet and hands were killing me we were always barefoot in the house which I was not used to and I had blisters on my hands which were also cracked and swollen, when bedtime came it was such relief as I was so tired and longed to talk to Sarah again.

We were watched as we undressed this was a humiliating process and I could feel the blood rush to my face as I was handed my night shirt but I could help but turn to look at Sarah her body looked perfect and there were signs of a tiny bump beginning to form on her front, her breasts were perky and medium sized just right for her body and her blonde pubic hairs shimmered in the candle light. I looked down at my own body my flat stomach and my overly large breasts and wondered what it was going to be like watching the bump getting bigger and bigger me helpless to stop it.

Once the staff had left the room I turned to Sarah she was climbing into bed "how does it feel?" I ask "what" she said looking at me puzzled.

"Seeing your belly growing, feeling your whole body changing" I asked

"You don't really notice it," she said quite as if she were brushing me off the subject.

I climbed into my bed as was just closing my eyes when I heard this screaming and footsteps coming down the corridor out of curiosity I got out of bed and opened the door Sarah got up and followed me.

This large heavily pregnant girl was stood in the corridor bending over clutching her stomach moaning loudly, the staff door opened and a women appeared "come on rose you silly girl you know better than this" mistress shouted at her then all of a sudden the girl buckled over again screaming and water started gushing from in-between her legs " now look what you've done you stupid little slut et back to your bedroom NOW ill send the nurse in" she shouted loudly" you, yes you" she said pointing to me I was so scared" get a mop and bucket and clean this mess up" she demanded." yes miss" I said and scurried off.

I had never seen anyone in labor and hadn't a clue what had happened I knew she was in labor but didn't know the stages of it and the thought of the screams the girl let out horrified me and the callus way in which the sat Had talked to her sent shivers down my spine.

It was a long night and I never got any sleep the cries of the girl where continuous I could here the staff telling her to shut up then just as break was dawning she did but no-one left the room Sarah turned to me and said," bet they've gagged her they cant stand loads of noise I once herd from one of the others they gag you if you make too much noise". My body shivered at the thought of what was happening down the hall and although it had gone quiet I couldn't go to sleep with all the thoughts galloping through my mind.

After that there was an uneventful couple of weeks then one night as I got into bed I noticed Sarah was crying "oh come on darling what's the matter I said as I quickly got up and went to her again and held her close she gripped me tightly and sobbed into my breast again" I felt it today, I could feel my baby move" she was crying continually and i knew there was nothing I could say to her and that she would feel the baby move all the time from now on until she had given birth to it. I just pulled my legs up and held her tightly then she suddenly stopped crying and lifted her head to look at me, I gazed into her eyes and watched as the last few tears fell over her cheeks, she pulled herself and kissed me, I pulled back out of sheer astonishment,

"I'm so sorry, please I'm sorry" she said looking at me her face reddening with embarrassment looked at her, the moon lighting her face and showing her natural highlights in her blonde hair, I pulled her close to me again and kissed her holding her head as I did this and she held mine passionately.

I could feel her hands start to wander to my breasts and she cupped them in her fingers so gently, rolling her finger ends over my nipples making them enlarge with excitement let my hands fall onto her lap then up to her tummy rubbing her bump lightly then I let them fall slightly downwards towards her vagina she paused in kissing me for a second then she held me tighter and carried on as I let my hand slip between her legs, I could feel how wet and wound up she was and she moaned quietly as I rolled my fingertips over her clit then I slipped my finger inside her right up deep inside, I could feel her throbbing walls enclose around my fingers and she lay back to let me get in deeper, as she did this she pulled her night shirt up over her head and removed it so I did the same we lay there naked letting our fingers roll over each others bodies caressing each others breasts and I moved my head down to her sweet smelling fanny and sunk my head between her legs letting my tongue tease her lips and her clit rolling it round I was turned on by the quiet moans of ecstasy she was letting out beneath the pillow she had pulled over her face to smother the sound, she lay back cupping her breasts with her hands as I tended to her, tasting her, teasing her making her body arch in pure ecstasy, letting my tongue slip inside her then my finger still she grabbed the pillow so tightly and I could hear her muffled screams of pleasure as she climaxed my fingers inside her still I could feel the deep throbbing of her deep inside and a flow of liquid as she released her orgasm. She looked at me in the cool light and pulled me up on top of her and started to kiss me again the she rolled me over onto my back and let all her weight lay over me as she started to kiss my nipples teasing them with her tongue and her fingers slowly working their way down to my groin I grabbed hold of the pillow and moaned quietly into it, as she began to slide her fingers inside me, still nibbling my nipples she began to work her fingers inside me first two the three then she twisted her hand around and inserted her whole hand inside of me I gripped the pillow tightly and screamed into it the sheer pleasure of her hands and her tongue filling my entire being, slowly she moved her head down, her hand still deep inside me and lightly licked my clitoris letting the tip of her tongue occasionally wander to the entrance of my fanny, my whole body started to tingle as waves of excitement flooded through me with her hand deep inside me I could myself throbbing and pulsating at every move she made then it happened by back arched sporadically my loins started to feel like they were on fire but it was a pleasing feeling oh how pleasing as waves of ecstasy cascaded throughout my body and I could feel the satisfying sensation of my first orgasm as she buried her tongue inside me and drank the juices that had been released.
She made her way back up my body with a massive smile on her face and we both held each other giggling, all the oppression in a place like this yet so much pleasure to be had if you found it.

The months passed quickly and my belly grew bigger and bigger but so did Sarah's she was beginning to look huge and I wasn't far behind her I started wondering what was going to happen with us once she had had her baby and was taken home would I ever see her again I loved her so much and the nights we spent together made up for the harsh cruel treatment of the days even when it wasn't sexual as it was getting harder and harder to do, our belies tending to get in the way, but we would hold each other and talk for hours about our past I learned that she was by her boyfriend and that was why she was in here, she didn't deserve this I was stupid and gave it away she never did she never wanted to have sex with the guy anyway.

She would hold me tightly and we would talk about running away together although we knew we never could how far would two heavily pregnant girls get anyway, but she told me where she lived and I did too, we would laugh telling funny stories and cry telling sad ones but from then on we never mentioned keeping the babies we knew we would never be able to but I would always know when it was on her mind and se would sob for hours sometimes thinking about it although we never said it out loud I knew what she was thinking about.
I on the other hand couldn't help thinking about losing her when she had had the baby, I knew she would leave and I would have to go it alone for the last few months the thought filled me with fear that might never see her again.

Work in the laundry became too hard for Sarah as she got heavier and heavier so she was sent to work in the kitchen with the rest of the heavily pregnant girls I missed her terribly all day, I knew we could never talk but to have her presence there all day made it that bit more bearable.

Then one night the inevitable happened she woke me clutching her stomach I ran down the corridor to get the staff" go away you silly girl it will be hours yet get me up when she's a little closer I want some sleep so keep her quiet if I have to come now I will be mad" she slammed the door in my face so I ran to Sarah and tried to make her comfortable.

I could see the pain in her eyes but she tried to keep her noise down to a minimum as she stood up in the room trying to ease the contractions, she couldn't even pace as there was not enough room but as they got more closer she let out a loud scream and it wasn't long before the staff where here.

"I told you to keep it down in here get on the bed you silly girl" she demanded, Sarah struggled down on the bed clutching her stomach as she moaned in pain" you girl get into yours too" she said looking at me I did as I was told and got into bed watching keenly what they were doing to my beloved Sarah.

First they took out a long piece of cloth and tied it around her mouth to gag her she moved her head towards me and looked into my eyes pleading but there was nothing I could do to help her. Then they forced her legs apart and the mistress cruelly rammed her hand inside her as hard as she could I could hear Sarah's muffled moans of pain and anguish as the mistress twisted her hand round inside her then she pulled her hand out "she's got a long while to go yet Sarah tried to get up off the bed again to relieve the pressure, she had told me it felt better when she was stood, up she said it made it easier.

"and where on earth do you think your going" miss spouted" get back on that bed" I tried to explain but was told to shut up and go to sleep, as if I could have slept.

Sarah tried over and over to get up off the bed but she was pulled down until the mistress gave up and left the room as soon as she was gone I helped Sarah to her feet and rubber her back for her, pulling the gag out of her mouth, she thanked me and leaned against the wall as the contractions kept coming.

The door burst open and it was the mistress with another staff member and they had long lengths of rope, they pulled Sarah's gag back up and proceeded to tie her arms to the bed then they arched her legs up knees open and tied them open passing the rope under the bed so she couldn't move my heart went out to her I could do nothing to aid her situation.

The other women left the room and I was told to go to sleep but I couldn't, I lay there all night watching her struggle wincing in pain and every now and again the mistress cruelly ramming her hand up inside her, I could sense the anguish on Sarah's face as she did this and knew it must have made it worse.

"Oh stop it if you weren't such a slut it wouldn't be happening" she would say as she rammed her hand inside her deeper and harder than ever.

The bell went for breakfast and I reluctantly had to dress and leave her as got dressed i could see the babies head starting to appear and I looked at Sarah and nodded trying to let her know it would be over soon but she was in too much pain to notice, I sheepishly left the room.

Work that day passed so slowly I wondered how Sarah was doing wondering whether she had had the baby or not and wondering what she had had, but mostly I was praying for her begging god to let her be alright. When eight finally came I couldn't wait to get to our bedroom to see but when I opened the door she wasn't there was no trace of her or the baby it was like she had vanished, I sunk into bed tears filled my eyes and I sobbed bitterly not knowing if id ever know if she was ok.

Time passed much more slowly from then on, I was given another room mate a new girl she wasn't even showing yet and she would cry every night, but I ignored her all I cared about was Sarah.

Then one night it was nearly early morning I awoke with cramps all over my body centering in my stomach I knew this had to be the time I lay there trying to ignore them. When the bell went for breakfast I got dressed went to the bathroom then instead of filing downstairs with the others I went back to bed and undressed again, the cramps where getting worse by know they felt like I was being crushed I stood up but it didn't help so I knelt on my bed my arms resting on the wall and waited for each one to come and go. Each time the pain getting worse and worse i had expected someone to come and see where I was but they didn't as the contractions got more painful I feared I wouldn't be able to keep quiet so I took the pillow and buried my head in it like I had the night I had first had with Sarah and screamed into it, I was hoping to have had it over with by the time bedtime came again but they were coming thick and fast my room mate saw me and fetched the staff, the mistress came in and laid me on the bed I didn't try to get up as I didn't wish to be tied like I had seen Sarah and I didn't wish to be gagged, she left the pillow over my face as she cruelly rammed her hand inside of me, it made me scream out in pain but I didn't care anymore I could feel the head coming out and that was all that mattered to me, as I began to feel the sensation to push ,I looked down the pain over powering me but I wanted to see my baby just as the head was coming out the mistress took a bag out of her pocket and placed it over my head, I screamed out but it muffled the sound and I felt the babies head come out followed by the body I lay back in sheer exhaustion, they removed the bag but mistress was gone my baby, I could see my roommate crying at the thought of what she had seen i just turned my head away and winced as the contractions forced the afterbirth out, my baby was gone before it was fully delivered I didn't know if it was a boy or girl.

I lay my head back in exhaustion and fell asleep when I awoke my mother was there she helped me dress I got in the car and we drove home.

I never mentioned my child, we never spoke of it and I was horrified to learn we had moved town to.

As of yet I haven't seen Sarah but who knows?

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