if you leave me now  

sexyasianangel70 37F
214 posts
6/5/2006 5:15 pm
if you leave me now

I am a moderately successful businessman who discovered a dark side (maybe dark is not the proper word, possibly "advanced" is better) to my sexuality. This began before I was a teenager. I would have fantasies of being forced to do things I would normally not do while I masturbated. I never acted upon my fantasies, but I had them and when I masturbated they became more erotic and exotic as I grew older. The only early pseudo sexual experience I had was with an over active girl who lived across the street. She was a godsend because up till then I could not imagine anyone, no less a girl, having more exotic fantasies then me. We were both twelve at the time. Her name was Carol and she liked to play "I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours". We did this and finally kissed what we were showing to each other with the proviso that if I showed it you must kiss it. After a while this progressed into licking and sucking each other's body parts while being blindfolded. Other than our tongues there was no penetration. Carol felt if she was blindfolded it would help in shielding any embarrassment. I felt the same way.

A couple of years later another girl my age suggested we do the same thing when I told her what Carol and I did. At about the same time we introduced a male friend into our sexual explorations. His name was Fred. We never had intercourse, because we knew that was "bad" and just too risky. The four of us did however practice a lot of oral sex. The new girl, her name was Gloria, became the "leader" of the group and somehow being forced to do things by her made it all right. The four of us got together at first once a month then once a week. Gloria always gave us an assignment of coming up with new scenarios each time we met. The one with the least imaginative scenario was always forced to do something disgusting like eating one's own or someone else's toenails or having everyone spit in their mouth. Gloria was always the judge. The punishment was always the same except the amount of spit and toe nails that had to be ingested increased as we got more brazen. As we got to know each other better we also made the "loser" eat and drink what had previously been in our mouths. Gloria said she heard that an African tribe drank their own urine. That grossed us out and I am sure eventually we probably would have done
this too.

Under Gloria's instructions I did suck my friend's cock while Carol held it. She then sucked it while I held it. Gloria also loved having her toes sucked by the three of us at the same time. We also alternately licked her vagina while she spread it open. She made us do it till she had an orgasm. Gloria also made Fred and me 69 while she played with herself. I once even came in my friend's mouth. We were both very embarrassed and he spit it out immediately. The girls however loved it and would not let us get up till Fred had an orgasm in my mouth. He tried but couldn't for which I was thankful. After what seemed like hours (really only about fifteen minutes) Gloria let us get up and said the next time we meet I will have to keep Fred's cock in my mouth till he cums.

Gloria and Carol loved to see Fred and me suck each other, and this became our standard punishment. Neither Fred nor I were gay and we really did not like doing this, but we were afraid of Gloria and the fact that she said she would tell our parents on us if we didn't do what she wanted us to do made us her virtual slaves. She told us that her parents were swingers and approved of what she did. First of all I had no idea what a swinger was, but we were young and as children we believed her. I am sure it wasn't true.

After almost a year someone else was introduced into the group. His name was Joseph and the son of one of my parent's friends. Joseph and his family visited us about once a month and on one visit I explained what I was doing with Gloria, Carol and Fred. He got very excited and begged to be introduced to the group. I did and soon Joseph replaced Gloria as the leader, well actually they both became the dominant ones ordering us around. We pretty much did the same stuff but as time went on we got more brazen with Joseph and Gloria trying to outdo each other. For example Joseph made Fred and me jerk off in front of Carol, Gloria and himself at the end of each session and collected the sperm on a plate. At first he had each of us put our tongue in the sperm but eventually he made us lick the plate clean after adding his own sperm. Only Carol seemed to enjoy this. Joseph hardly ever did anything but watch. I don't think he was gay. In fact none of us were, we were just forced to do some homosexual things to the enjoyment of the others. I would say less than 25% of what we did would be considered homosexual.

About a year after Joseph joined the group Gloria moved away and Joseph's family stopped visiting. Not having a "Master" Fred and I stopped our sexual encounters. We needed a leader. To this day I wonder what the four of my old friends are doing. My guess is they are doing the same as me. Once this kind of desire gets in your system it never leaves. When I was fifteen my family moved to New York City but I fantasized often of the delicious things the five of us did while I masturbated. It was many years later that I finally participated in real and not imagined BDSM activities.

I have been married three times and my escapades transcended my marriages and the times in between. I seriously considered moving in permanently with a Mistress between my first and second marriages. But after a month of living as a slave to a Mistresses and her husband I realized that I could not do this 24/7. I lived with them for about six weeks and became completely exhausted after only one week. They finally let me go after they obtained a "replacement", and only then after they felt the replacement was trained. During the transition they loved having the replacement, his name was George, and me entertain them. At one point I wasn't sure if they would ever let me go, but they finally did after I agreed (in writing) to come back and join them whenever they wanted. This usually happened when the couple entertained their friends and wanted to show George and me off. At first, after leaving the couple, I was so exhausted that I didn't think I would enjoy being a slave again, but it didn't take too long before my cravings were as strong as ever.

The sessions with the couple and George never lasted for more than a day. That seemed the perfect length for me. Psychologists say that the BDSM urge stays with one for a lifetime. I can attest to that.

What follows are brief descriptions and activities I participated in with my more memorable Mistressess. I do this in chronological order not necessarily in the order of severity. I can easily recall at least thirty Mistresses I served, but the following are those that I not only saw for prolonged periods, but who also truly lived this sort of life style. With the exception of who I am seeing now, Mistress Cheryl, all other Mistresses were and are full time Mistresses. Cheryl has a normal job and does her thing part time because like me, enjoys it but couldn't do it 24/7. I have used only first names because the escapades described are true and so are the people, many of which would not want to be identified and I am sure are still in the scene and would recognize themselves in the following snippets.

I start with Mistress Mary, not because she was so special, but because she was the first true Mistress I ever met. I had fanaticized about being sexually dominated for many years and never thought others also had such feelings until I read a magazine that advertised this type of behavior. After obtaining a Post Office box I started answering ads. Mistress Mary was the first to answer my response to an ad. I must have sent out dozens of letters, all polite, and Mary wrote me a short letter with instructions to call her. I was very excited waiting for her response.

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