|Blogs > sextart21 > happiness is a gaping hole|
so, the inevitable has happened.
my ex called me an hour ago and asked me out for dinner.
i know what this means.
this means he wants to get back together.
now i really don't know what to do. i've tried calling all my friends, just for someone to talk to, but they're all asleep because they work respectable 9-5 jobs. only me, the bartender, and my ex, the unemployed musician, are still awake.
i really did know this was going to happen. that's why i listed my marital status as "attached" on this website.
i'm worried if i meet him, i'll feel obligated to go back to him. but i still remember how needlessly jealous and clingy he was, and the double standards, and his weird habit of slapping me in the face in his sleep, and how little we talked in our last few months together. we would sit on the couch and stare at the television for hours without saying a word to each other. also the callouses on his fingers that used to chafe my pussy every time he frigged me (but that's what i get for dating a guitarist, really). and how much his family hated me, and how for some reason he seemed to think this was all MY fault. and all our fights were my fault, too.
actually, overall, the sex was pretty good. he was the first guy to make me squirt uncontrollably. and he was talented and smart and funny. he used to buy me flowers and he put up with my cat even though he was allergic. and he knew i didn't like to drive, really, so he drove me everywhere. there is the awkward fact that we still have pretty much the same friends. and that year he took me to montreal for summer vacation. good times. and do i really want to throw away four years just because some of the sparkle went out of everything? it would be easier...but that's really not a valid reason to maintain a relationship. hmm.
so i could go back to him. or i could not. or, the horrible demon child voice in the back of my head says, i could shag him and some other people on the side. it would serve the jealous bastard right. at least his jealousy would be JUSTIFIED for once. but then i would be a dirty rotten cheater.
advice from anyone would be appreciated on this one.
i am also on the rag on top of everything else.
and i fed my cat this food this afternoon that had peas in it.