Move on  

sexloverocknroll 57M
282 posts
5/9/2006 11:39 am

Last Read:
5/10/2006 9:52 am

Move on

The challenges I have been facing lately have me questioning life. So what? I do that all day everyday. I question everything because I am the type of guy who believes there is a better way. The questions are changing. I have had to just focus on the here and now because the past and the future are concepts that only cloud my mind. There is nothing more for any of us than the right here and the right now. Sure, the past and our choices brought us here and influences us to make decisions for the future, but we are living right here right now.

My heart seems to be on my sleeve and in my face, demanding that I take notice and act accordingly. No more whining and complaining about why this and that does not happen when I know why. I have been looking in the wrong places and, asking the wrong people, meeting the wrong possibilities. Time for me to face up to this one aspect of my life: I do not belong on here.

I have been to a few blogs here and there. Looked at those deemed “most watched” and see lots of sexual escapades. Nothing against that at all, just that I have none, have not in over 5 years now. Even if I was having some, I would not be posting photos of it on here and telling the World about it. Again, not saying anything bad about anyone else, just that it is not me. Since there is no love for me on here, all I am doing is bloging, then I should just go back to my old one. On here, I was getting comments, but that has stopped as well. Thought I had made some friends, but I have found out that if I disagree with them, the friendship is over. Not my idea of friend.

Whatever is effecting me, whatever is going on with me right now, it is changing me. “Changing” is not the proper choice of wording here. The things that I am seeing and hearing and witnessing within myself and around me have been influencing me to react in a certain way. The way I am reacting is shifting. Deep inside, in my heart and my soul, I have known for a long time what is right for me and what is not right. I love sex, but only with someone I love and who loves me in return. I might fantasize about a 3 some or any of that, but I would not carry it out. I am comfortable enough with myself to realize I am not so needy as to have tons of lovers to make me feel better. I do not need tons of comments on my blog or hundreds of viewers or cuasual sex with a married person or sex without love. Time to stop wasting my time and move on to what I should have been doing all along. Just wished I knew what that is right now.

rm_clwtx 42M
11 posts
5/9/2006 12:48 pm

Don't feel bad I've joined a couple of dating search engines and have had no luck as well. I've been single for a while and your right sometimes you start to doubt in yourself. But no matter what anyone else says or thinks if you can't think for yourself then who are you as a person.

sexloverocknroll replies on 5/9/2006 3:21 pm:
Good point! Thank you! Next month, it will be 3 years that I have been looking on the internet. After tons of rejections and lots of money, I have one pen pall to show for it.

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