This is for the women- Men if u have a sense of humor  

screwmeovernout 59M
150 posts
1/13/2006 8:10 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

This is for the women- Men if u have a sense of humor

One for the ladies
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

And they say blondes are dumb...

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the worl d with her husband.

Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!

A PRAYER....

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.
AMEN

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
One of my long time lady aquaintences sent this to me. I quite enjoyed it, hope you do too.


firestarter665 42M/39F

1/13/2006 11:03 am

LMAO!!!!


MarinadelMar 59F

1/13/2006 12:11 pm

ROFLMAO!!!

These are wonderful

Thank you for posting them - I especially like 'Instruction Manuals'.

Marina


oldman1776 78M
3164 posts
1/13/2006 1:41 pm

LOL funny as hell.


rm_bi_virgin3 39M/43F
62 posts
1/13/2006 1:42 pm

That was great...I have that prayer above my desk. I love it.


redmustang91 57M  
8660 posts
1/13/2006 2:34 pm

The war of the sexes will never be won until the combatants learn to stop fraternizing with the enemey! Funny stuff and somewaht but not totally true.


Fox4aKnight1 43F

1/16/2006 11:58 pm

LMAO that was too funny ....thanks *grinz*


JuStGeTtiNmIne 53F

1/17/2006 6:04 am

[blog handle]I loved that prayer so much I borrowed it and posted it to my BLOG..[blog handle]Thanx for making me Laugh Out Loud this AM............[blog HANDLE]


JuStGeTtiNmIne 53F

1/17/2006 6:09 am

Excuse the messed up code above.............I just worked 16 hrs.......what'cha gonna do..........


screwmeovernout 59M

1/17/2006 7:36 am

Thanx to all for having the same sense of humor I do


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