Start from the beginning  

sbfrommaine 48F
12 posts
12/10/2005 8:48 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Start from the beginning

I guess I should start my blog by reflecting on why I'm here in the first place. Almost ten years ago I met the most wonderful man and we built a life had it's ups and downs, but he was by far my best friend and I thought we would be together forever. Unfortunately that was not to be the case. It was just over a year ago that I lost him to cancer. We were both robbed of the lifetime of togetherness that we thought we would share, but both felt so blessed to have had the time together that we did. Some people search their whole lives and never find what we had for almost ten years.

Which brings me to why I am on AdultFriendFinder. After a year and a half of battling cancer and a year of mourning my husband, I feel that I am ready to live again. Not really sure how to start doing that. There are still so many ups and downs in my life and everything still feels so unsettled. I know that I may never find what I once had...I consider myself fortunate to have found it once...I find it hard to even fathom that I might find it twice. I don't really know what I want, which makes it difficult for the people in my life to deal with me right now. I am still all over the place emotionally. I go from wanting to spend all my time with someone to not being able to be around them...makes it very difficult to forge any type of relationship right now.

I feel that at least recognizing that I want more in my life is a positive step...however, not knowing what I want is proving to be very frustrating for both myself and the people around me. I have met some really great people here on AdultFriendFinder and hope to continue to do so. Every new encounter is a chance to move ahead and start over. There are very few people out there that you can't learn something from.

FriendlybutKinky 49M

12/10/2005 3:54 pm

I am sad and happy all at once reading your blog. Such great tragedy, mixed with determination and hope.

I know you will find you way. You are an amazingly wonderful woman. I cherish knowing you and consider myself a fortunate man to call you a friend.


thewoodsinfall 51M
81 posts
1/12/2006 9:28 am

Good luck to you as you move forward into the world. My heart goes out to you. Best.

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