Statistical Glitch  

saxyjazzman 55M
26 posts
9/19/2005 2:10 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Statistical Glitch


Suddenly, 165 readers hit my blog out of nowhere.

And no comments. It implies an disciplined force of blog-readers, a platoon, no, a company. A cult. BlogStalkers.

Wait - it's my looks! You're transfixed. Fingers freeze. Never knew you could feel this way about a man... You struggle to free yourself...

..."must hit restart, must hit restart..."

Because my visitor list is still solid M's. Plus one woman in Germany. And I am so not going to Germany.

Nah, it's a server glitch. There's no one out there.

"Glitch," by the way, is what we call pussy down at the club.
"Yo, Mariko, atodai, ne...choto gurichu kudasai."
"Kino yoru ni, suGOI guritchu tabemashita, desiooh!!"

There's these two waiters get laid all the time. Call themselves the Glitch Brothers.

But maybe it's NOT a glitch. Maybe the word is out with AdultFriendFinder guys. Yo! Check out Le Pathetic Prince de Tokyo. Plays saxophone and sings in the top hostess club in Roppongi for four years and GOT NO GLITCH TO SHOW FOR IT. It's some kind of record, Hall of Shame stuff

("What a Shame About Me," Steely Dan, "Everything Must Go" -- stop reading this now, go buy the CD and listen to it six times.) Fagan is God.

Anyway, you're all laughing about me on this chat page somewhere. Chipping in to buy me a little flaccid Oscar. It's all about me. I KNEW it.

HOWEVER... if you LIKE reading this stuff, you dudes should TURN ME ON TO SOME OF YOUR LADIES!

"Hey, Likyurdik-chan, you really ought to meet Saxyjazzman and screw his brains out - he'd write this killer blog about you and...what?... yeah, burogu, burogu. No, not brogue. He's not Irish. No, no, IRISH, not I rush -- what do you mean, "I rush?" You rush? Oh, you mean you're coming? Ooh, Likyurdik-chan! Come for me baby. I'm going to fuck you just a little harder now, okay? Does that feel good? You gonna come for me again, sweet thing? You are? You're glitch feels like strawberry honey yogurt, Likyurdik-chan, yeah, get it, get it, get it...."

And then afterwards you could bring up me again.

Tell her I'm huge, I'm nationwide, this seminal (!) writer/singer saxman with funny videos and hot tunes and crazy essays on my website - YEAH! TELL HER SHE'LL GET TO SEE MY WEBSITE! - it's a BATMAN thing... Who IS Saxyjazzman? Tell her Paramount has an option on the story of my life. Tell her I'm in development. Tell her fucking JOHNNY might take the role, and if you don't know who Johnny is, take a hike -- the door swings both ways, baby.

Anyway, here's how we work it. One or two at a time. One guy has to be Japanese. He comes to the club, he's my agent. The other is his guest - a Sony Records rep from Hollywood. The two AdultFriendFinder glitches are, you know, with you guys. I'll keep your tab under 50,000 yen, no problem. Then it's off to the hotel. I will handle most of the video work, you guys do your thing. I just want a taste now and then. I love directing. It's my dream. I tried to talk my son into coming over here as an actor but he said, "Daaad..." He's a good kid. He'd look fabulous in Asia Carrera. Fucking shame. No one understands me.

Anyway, after five or six dates like this, we go to VCCD.com and sell the package of videos. Call the series "Saxual Healing" - because I'm doing the sound track! Plus some patter in between the sex scenes, you know, tell a few jokes, some card tricks. I have great original tunes too, we'll slip em in there. A complete entertainment experience. I'm serious here.

So really, I don't need your comments.

Let's talk points.

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