|Blogs > satyr34 > Satyr's grove|
Debbie Does Everyone
Debbie Does Everyone
I work in an office where we have a practice of putting lists of our ten favorite movies prominantly displayed on white boards near our desks. I don't know why we started this practice, perhaps it was a way for us to get to know each other on a deeper level, bonding in the workplace. Probably it was just something to do.
We usually give each other a hard time, just in good fun though, much like any office. So, one day, I decided to add a name to my neighbor's list; "Debbie Does Everyone". I had originally thought about using a title like "Terry and the Butt Pirates" or "Assmaster - a retrospective" but I thought that was a bit much for a nice, clean office like the one I work in. So, at the first opportunity, I snuck over to his cubicle and added a new name to his favorite movies list.
He never noticed it.
It's been up there for about two months now, and everyone else has seen this movie title on his white board. He's starting to get really odd looks from the group's secretary, like he's some kind of child molesting pervert.
I think the boss has even seen it, but no one's mentioned it to him. Probably out of some strange form of respect for his privacy.
I find it interesting that people would rather think that this guy's favorite movie is pornographic and not mention it, rather than flip him shit over it. This had the makings of a really unique sociological experiment, just how strange can I make this guy look to the other office dwellers before they confront him.
So, about a month ago, I began changing the names he has on his movie list
to reflect his newfound appreciation for the erotic film genre. He had "Star Wars" listed so I altered it to "Star Whores". "Raiders of the Lost Ark" became "Raiders of the Anal Orifice" and so on.
I changed his list over the course of a month with each new title getting progressively more bizarre.
By the end of his movie list I had him heavily into bondage and bestiality.
I tried to mimic his handwriting so no one would notice that he wasn't the one changing it and I
made certain that no one saw me doing it.<br>
The secretary quit speaking to him, she would relay messages through an intermediary, usually it was me because I sat right next to him. My fellow office dwellers began to avoid him as well, giving him strange looks out of the corner of their respective eyes. Office gossip ran amok. There were
rumors floating around that this guy masturbated in the bathrooms and made the coffee naked. Soda pop became the drink of choice. People began to avoid him outside the office as well, he would
confide to me that little old ladies would cross the street and become very protective when they were out walking their little yipping dogs.
And still, no one has mentioned his movie list to him.
Lately he's been sending his resume out to different companies and going on job interviews.
The boss is less concerned than he might be that he's about to lose this valuable employee but then, several other people have already left. In their exit interviews they mentioned workplace conditions as their primary reason for leaving and intimated that they weren't "comfortable" working here. No one came out and said that my neighbor was the reason they were leaving, but it was understood that he just freaked them out and they couldn't take it any more.
I suppose I should feel bad about this, but to be honest with you, the guy kind of freaks me
out too. I mean he's got porn on his favorite movie list for God's sake.