Thoughts for the Day .......  

sassyflirt3 59F
319 posts
6/28/2006 8:20 am
Thoughts for the Day .......


Make somebody happy today. Mind your own business.

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Women should always let men have the last words of an
argument... "Yes Ma'am."

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One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife
dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she
purred, "and you can do anything you want."

So he tied her up and went golfing.

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Marriage is a relationship in which one person is
always right, and the other is a husband.

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A couple went to a marriage counselor for help.

After listening to them for about half an hour, the
counselor suggested, "Well to start with, it might
help if you stopped referring to each other as "Needle
Dick" and "Ball Breaking Bitch."

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"What happened to you?" asked the bystander of the man
lying on the sidewalk outside of the beauty parlor.
The man shook his head groggily and rubbed his bruised
chin.

"Last thing I remember was my wife came out of the
beauty salon. I took a look at her and said, 'Well,
Honey, at least you tried,' and then it was lights out."

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Seven out of 10 people say they are feeling the pinch
of high gas prices. The other three have bought
siphoning equipment. - Jim Barach

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A company now takes the cremated ashes of your loved
one and compresses the carbon into a blue diamond?

This brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "family
jewels."

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THE LADIES AT LUNCH

Mary: So he promised he'd try to quit smoking. He
said he'd have a cigarette only after sex.

Jill: Did it work?

Mary: Not really, but our sex life suddenly picked up!

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Pick Your Poison

WOULD YOU RATHER your teenaged Daughter bring home her
report card with

An "A" in Sex Education.

Or

An "F".

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