No really....I LOVE men ;)  

sassyflirt3 59F
319 posts
1/18/2006 8:47 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

No really....I LOVE men ;)

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,

"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

And they say blondes are dumb...
_____________________________________
A couple is lying in bed. The man says,

"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world"

The woman says, "I'll miss you..."
_____________________________________
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
_________________________________
He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make love to you really badly.
She said - Well, you succeeded.
____________________
He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That is a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and drink beer and fart.
______________________
He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
______________________
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor.
___________________
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!
__________________
A PRAYER....
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
______________________________
Q: How can you tell when a man is well hung?
A: When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.
_________________________________
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
______________________________
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three -- one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
________________________________
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
_________________________________
Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: Because not one will stop and ask directions.
_________________________________
Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.
__________________________________
Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
_________________________________
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
_________________________________


grouchy68 48M

1/18/2006 9:55 am

There once was a girl called Sassy
Who some fellas thought was quite brassy.
If I hear 'em say owt
I'll give 'em a clout
She's classy not brassy is Sassy!


sassyflirt3 59F

1/18/2006 5:20 pm

Grouchy


rm_southeast5 50M/46F
59 posts
1/22/2006 2:53 am

sassy very good ,,i'll be using some of them lol


sassyflirt3 59F

1/29/2006 1:53 pm

Mac lucky for you i hadnt read that before i came over on Fri or you'd have been in deep trouible


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