Sexual vs Sexy -- by her  

salacious_desire 41M/41F
19 posts
9/3/2006 5:48 am

Last Read:
9/8/2006 12:42 pm

Sexual vs Sexy -- by her


I consider myself an extremely sexual person. I am constantly thinking about sex and how it penetrates (purposeful word choice) our lives. I enjoy sex on many levels. I explore sexuality within myself, with my partner, and with other people. Yes, I am sexual.

However, this does not translate into being sexy. To me being sexy is an internal feeling that one has about their own self. It is feeling not just attractive, and sexually turned on, but also having the ability to entice another person.

sexy

- marked by or tending to arouse sexual desire or interest

- creating or arousing excitement

- tending to entice into a desired action or state

I could say it was a self esteem thing but I have just never felt like I was sexy. There are moments where I feel cute, sweet, maybe even pretty, but sexy? No. I can feel sexual and desire sex but for me sexy is something that others know how to do. I fumble and trip around like a little girl trying on her mother's heels. It seems that you have to be a "grown up" to be sexy. It isn't that I don't feel like an adult, I do... sort of. And it isn't about a body or body type. It is a mind set .... it is about a sense of knowing you can turn someone else on.

Being sexy is something that other people do, beautiful women that know how to flirt, and men that know how to dominate. They are sexy. Being sexy is this thing that I haven't ever really gotten the hang of. It is about finesse, charm, and tempting another. I just don't feel like I have those attributes. I can talk about sexual things, I can seduce someone with my thoughts and words, but in the physical-moment I don't feel sexy I just feel sexual.

People throughout my life, when I have brought up this topic, have told me that I have a skewed perception of myself on this issue. But it really is about me and how I view myself. I can be adorable and extremely disarming to a psyche but flirting and being sexy... nope it just isn't going to happen. At least *I* don't think I have those skills.

rm_wisexfans77 52M/40F

9/7/2006 1:31 pm

um... "I can seduce someone with my thoughts and words,"

that -is- sexy. But you're right, it's a self-view thing. But just because you don't think it's true doesn't mean it isn't. Because it's also definitely somewhat defined by the people with you at that moment.

I understand what you're writing though, very much so...


salacious_desire 41M/41F
7 posts
9/7/2006 3:52 pm

    Quoting rm_wisexfans77:
    um... "I can seduce someone with my thoughts and words,"

    that -is- sexy. But you're right, it's a self-view thing. But just because you don't think it's true doesn't mean it isn't. Because it's also definitely somewhat defined by the people with you at that moment.

    I understand what you're writing though, very much so...
Yeah, it is totally a me insecure thing. I'm sapiosexual so smart people totally turn me on.. they can seduce me easily... I love it!!!


rm_wisexfans77 52M/40F

9/8/2006 1:47 pm

"sapiosexual" you so made that up! (or maybe not. Never heard it before..)

We're the same way though. And staying that way!
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