He's just not that into you -- by her  

salacious_desire 41M/41F
19 posts
9/8/2006 5:13 am

Last Read:
9/10/2006 1:55 pm

He's just not that into you -- by her

I had heard about the drama surrounding the book "He's just not that into you." I was in grad school at the time so reading anything other than research was impossible. However, yesterday I read the book in one sitting, it is a quick and easy read. I wanted to see what I thought about the book that I had heard about.

I read through and most of it seemed pretty obvious. And these sorts of book usually are, I mean a lot of time we just need an outside source to help us get a different view on what we are doing. I sat reading the book and thinking about some of my past relationships, my last one to be exact, and well, I'm not saying this book would have helped me leave sooner, but it would have at least reminded me of a few things.

While the book is cheesy in a lot of way and prepackaged and marketed for just the right type of woman, I think there are some valid points. The overarching theme is that you are worth someone taking the time to focus on you. And that is an important. I'm always going to be me with my faults and insecurities, but the basic idea of not chasing after breadcrumbs has been a lesson that has taken years to fully understand.

I personally felt my own mind twitch a bit where they speak to the idea of murky relationships. I don't like feeling nervous or scared that I don't know where I stand in a relationship. I'm doing better, much much better, but in general I want to know if someone is into making a relationship with me and looking towards the future (no i don't mean marriage or babies -- yuck) or if we are just having fun for a little while. I don't expect anyone to have all these answers right away (although the whole Blink theory would probably say otherwise). I know though that *I* can say what I want and what I'm looking for and know with someone I'm seeing if I want more or to pull back. I can say it so it is not too much to ask the person I'm seeing to say the same thing. This one, I have struggled with. I give people a lot of space to figure things out, but even so, all I have ever needed is for someone to say, "You know I'm figuring it out and I'm not sure at the moment. I'm going to give it some thought and tell you when I know more clearly." That I can work with and that I can respect. Say what you want, even if it is something I don't want, say it. In the end, being honest and direct about your feelings whatever they may be will only help both people involved. Let's all not waste our time on something that isn't working. But if it is working, doesn't it always feel good to hear your partner say so? The answer of course is, yes.

We all deserve someone that is really into us, wants to be around us, seeks us out, and makes us feel good. No seriously, we really do. I have had my fair share of crappy relationships and I now know that I want emotional intensity. I want someone that is as passionate about me as I am about them. I realize this is asking for a lot but am I not worth it?

You are worth seeking out do not settle for less.

salacious_desire 41M/41F
7 posts
9/8/2006 12:40 pm

    Quoting prettylady344:
    i read this book also, yes i will wait to find someone that wants all of me ....not all the bullshit games...or one sided relationships, TIRED OF THAT.....MAYBE I WILL WAIT forever i dont know....but at least i got ME #1
I agree! You are worth it and worth waiting for the right person that sees how great you are

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