If you loved me...  

ruready4adark1 56M
143 posts
8/17/2005 8:05 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

If you loved me...

During a moment of weakness (mostly caused by alcohol), I indulged a friend in a conversation about ex-girlfriends. One martini later, we jumped on the ex-girlfriend bashing train and we rode it for a good long time. While it was in general a very sobering aside to an otherwise pleasant night, we did find common ground when the subject of manipulation came up. One of the favorites his ex overused was the distortion of words, specifically the word love by using the old “if you loved me…” cliché. We spent a comical martini and a half coming up with a short list she had used on him in their short, tumultuous relationship…

If you loved me… you would know what I’m feeling right now
If you loved me… you wouldn’t go out with those guys
If you loved me… you would know what I need from you
If you loved me… you wouldn’t have to ask what I want
If you loved me… you would know what I like

I’m sure we came up with more but I think I lost the rest of them in the bottom of my martini glass. One thing I do remember, we decided that whoever came up with the “if you loved me…” cliché should be… well… BANNED from participation in all affairs of the heart, mind, body, and soul.

Feel free to add your own “If you loved me…” to the list.


BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

8/21/2005 12:56 pm

ru, sounds like your martini friend has a tall order to fill. Remind me not to meet her lol! Here are a few of mine:

If you loved me, you'd do it unconditionally.
If you loved me, you'd give me freedom to grow.
If you loved me, my happiness would be just as important as yours.
If you loved me, you would not judge me.

And my favorite:
If you loved me, you'd let me do you in the butt! HA HA HA HA!!! Joking, joking


sexypoohbear4u 64M
19 posts
8/26/2005 11:51 am

Hey ru, my favorite is the one that was used on me recently: If you really loved me, you would understand why I need some space right now, to find out who I am. Less than a week later she is showing off a new engagement ring and her divorce is not even final yet ...... hummm I think I missed something somewhere don't you.......peace man, love your blog


ruready4adark1 56M

8/26/2005 1:59 pm

OUCH sexy, no matter how much you harden yourself against the pain that one has to hurt. Hell, I hurt from that one. I don't like to speak bad words about people, especially people I don't know, but that was one dirty, rotten thing to do. I don't even know you but I do know you deserve better. They say when one door closes another one opens and I truly believe that. There is a world of good women out there (and in here) and as odd as it sounds I hope you've taken time to grieve, get mad, be sad, find supportive friends (count me in!) and move on to better things. Its all you can do. Move forward.

My worst nightmare wasn't proceed by an "if you loved me..." but I did get an out of the blue "I'm sleeping with... so what are we gonna do" layed on me. My response was "I don't know what I'm gong to do right now, but you are going to get out." She left that night and I've seen her once in 14 years. I saw her first so she never saw me. As stupid as this feels to say, I was grateful for what we had when we had it. I got mad, cried, felt sorry for myself, then woke up one day and decided to move forward. You gotta love to be hurt by love, so I consider myself lucky in that respect. It doesn't hurt me anymore. That's life.


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