Funny  

ruready4adark1 56M
143 posts
8/19/2005 5:27 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Funny

We all know that a good sense of humor and the ability to laugh at ourselves is a necessary positive in our lives. In a recent study women rated a man's sense of humor even more important than penis size in the success of their relationship. Okay, I actually made that last part up but I'm sure a lot of women will agree. Hey, a penis is a pretty funny looking thing when its all limp and flopping back and forth as we walk from the shower to the bedroom. I know, I checked.

I think a sense of humor helps us realize that we are not perfect but we are perfection. We are all extraordinary beings and being able to laugh at our less-than-perfect selves and some of the things we do helps us accept ourselves for what we are.

Just for laughs, here are a few things about myself...

I drool in my sleep. Ladies, if you need a little extra lubrication down there (yes, there!) let me sleep across your lap and you'll wake up wet and ready.

I sometimes scratch my balls in public. Crude, h-uh?! Well, its not because they itch, its because I just like the way my balls feel.

I've tripped so many times going up stairs (when I was young) I can still feel the dents in my shins.

One time (really, just once) I was sitting on the toilet and all these things happened in a simultaneous expulsion from my body -- I sneezed and shot nose goo out my nose, my mouth shot spit, my eyes watered, my ears popped, my pee-pee shot pee, and a huge fart shot out my ass. All at the same time. As sick as it sounds, I laughed so hard I cried.

One time I farted so loud in church everyone heard it and everyone laughed. My mother was mortified, but my friends thought I was the coolest thing ever.

A few years ago I was on vacation in Aruba, walking down the beach when I noticed a pretty girl standing topless a short distance away from me. She was waving at me and motioning me over. I ran right over to her and said hi, my eyes popping out of my head at her exposed breasts. I nearly died when she covered herself with her hands and called me a pervert just as her husband came jogging up behind me wanting to know what was going on. She wasn't waving at me, she was waving at him but he was behind me and I didn't see him. I felt like such a fool. To this day I never acknowledge someone waving at me without turning around first.

I was at a friends house where we were having a church group pool party. We were in the pool when a woman came walking out of the house holding a big stack of towels. She was holding them high so I couldn't see her face, but I did see her ample breasts bouncing back and forth under her bathing suit. Boys will be boys, and I leaned over to my friend and said, "look at those." To which he replied, "that's my mother." I felt sick, because she was a pastor in our church.

Enough about me, and stop that laughing!


rm_mustluvplus2 57F

8/20/2005 1:54 am

OMG.....yes, I'm laughing, but not at you READY......with you hun.
Shame on you for oogling the pastor and your friends mom !
And no dear...you are grabbing your balls (as all men do) to see if they are stil there. Just where do you guys think they are going anyways?

and as for my imperfect self and something to make you laugh......my mind is blank. "I'm thinking, I'm thinking".......
I'll get back to ya. Guess it's too early.another cup of Java and my mind will kick in.


BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

8/21/2005 12:49 pm

I can't stop laughing. Thanks.

PS--Laughter is the cure for all that ails us, and can even cure disease in addition to the wonderful emotional benefits. You don't even need something funny to laugh. Just start laughing and it has the same physiological effect as if you were in a comedy club.

When I wake up in the morning I just start laughing to begin my day. That is, if no one is in bed with me (wouldn’t want that to be misinterpreted)! And, a good look in the mirror usually does it for me too..


rm_sj365 55F
2414 posts
8/21/2005 10:09 pm

Laughter is not always the cure. I'm just recovering from pneumonia & the raucous laughter this caused set off a coughing fit like none I have ever experienced, which in turn lead to the hacking up of my left lung. I believe that this entry should have contained some sort of warning to the reader & your failue to provide one puts you in an actionable position. You'll be hearing from my attorney! *picks up left lung & wanders off still snickering*


ruready4adark1 56M

8/22/2005 5:08 pm

um... sorry about lung. Breath shallow, call me in the morning.


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