Sexual Outlook and DTR  

rm_rosesjac 70M
63 posts
12/18/2005 10:23 am

Last Read:
11/28/2007 8:52 am

Sexual Outlook and DTR


Today I signed on to AOL only to be hit with "Look who is turning 60 in 2006". That me also! I'm not frighten by the age but angered by the thought of what people think of sixty year olds.

I find myself in a paradox: I know I'm getting older but feeling like that I'm not growing ancient. I realize that things have slowed down for me but they haven't gone away.

My peers are in their forties and fifties even though my oldest daughter is in this group. I saw her the other day and marveled at how beautiful she is at 40 (not that I'm bias) much more than her mother, my first ex-wife, was at that age. The thought jumped in my head that if she wasn't my daughter, I would have a sexual interest in her. After all, the women that I'm involved sexually with are in their 40's and 50's, a few older also. "Main Squeeze" is only six years older than her.

Why do I feel that my peers are people in their 40's and 50's? Maybe it has something to do with the way I feel and think?

Growing up and in school, I was never accepted by the kids in the same grade that I was in because I was smaller and two years younger than they were. I was in first grade at four and college by sixteen.
When I met my second wife, I thought that she was ten years younger than what she was and she thought that I was younger but not the 10 years younger as I did. When we married in '79 and had kids, our friend were people who did about the same. Well that puts dose people in their 40's and 50's now. Yes, I seem to associate with people who got married around that time or had kids about the same age or got divorced when I did.

I find that when I make friends or attachments that they are in their 40's and 50's.

I remember when people thought that I was much older than what I was. That was great, being able to buy alcohol at an under-age or getting jobs & job assignments usually obtain by someone much older than I was.
But when I was about to turn 31, something happened. I didn't celebrate my birthday that year and it was several years before I did. It was like time stood still for awhile, days came and went but years never changed.

I find it frustrating that some people reject or will not accept me just by my age alone. I'm in the same "boat", (stage of life), as they are except with a few more miles,(chronological years), put on. That is why I sign with "DTR" which means "Down the Road" (a few more years) usually. Sometimes it can be taken as close or near by.

I think of that Willie Nelson song "On the Road again" but change or swap "on" for "down". Because even though it has been well traveled, I happily look forward to traveling some more.

DTR - Sunday, December 18, 2005

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