Rainy days and laundry always get me down...(well, introspective, anyway)  

rococcokisses 41F
29 posts
5/12/2006 5:29 pm

Last Read:
4/24/2014 12:12 am

Rainy days and laundry always get me down...(well, introspective, anyway)

As I pass the idle time of my clothes spinning round in the washing machine, I decide to follow the footsteps of one of my AdultFriendFinder friends--an experienced blogger--and parlay some of the thoughts I've had about my experience here onto the screen. I've always been reticient about blogging--in writing endeavours such as journaling, letter writing, and the rest, I'm terribly inconsistent, and well, who needs to start up one more thing in life they're not terribly successful at?

In the corner of my screen, my profile picture appears, much larger than the thumbnail I'm usually greeted with on my log-in page. I must admit, I'm fascinated. This is the only glimpse most people on this site have seen of me, and I wonder, as I look at those parted lips, that windstrewn hair, and the soft laciness of my angora sweater (one, admittedly, I've never worn in public!) what sort of an impression such a photgraph projects. Ostensibly, the purpose of a profile pic is to titilate and to entice--and from some of the feedback I've recieved, this 'innocent little pic' (a crop-job of a photo that was originally headed for the trash) has been somewhat successful in this goal.

But what about the 'cropped' parts of me? I look at my the remanents of my non-laundry-bound wardrobe--a red hoddie and big blue sweatpants--and the funny little body they swathe--and all my imperfections become magnified under the scrutiny of the inner gaze. Looking back at my profile pic, I squirm to think about the fantasy that woman could, and must, represent to some people, and am reminded once again of the self-consciousness and reticience I have toward meeting people from this site. Don't get me wrong--it's not that I lack self-confidence. It's just that I've met me; I know me, and while for the most part, I honestly feel happy with who I am (while being ever aware of my shortcomings--one of which is that I'm unaware of some of my shortcomings!), I also know what I'm not, and I'm certainly not the co-star of the wild and fantastic sexual journies that I've been cast into by some from this site. I've no doubt contributed to this disillusionment--when my mind flips through the cache of lingerie-clad (and unclad) pics I've shared with others, I shame to think of how I might have misrepresented myself. For the most part, I feel guiless. The truth is, most of the people whom I've shared these fantasies with, I'll never meet, or aren't really interested in more than just a little excitment to fill a dreary afternoon. But in the case of those for whom my 'AdultFriendFinder persona' has ignited a little spark, one which they've then spent the time and energy to fan into flame, I can't help but feel a little anxious. Maybe this is natural for someone like me. I remind myself of times in which my employment has been sales related and the kind of salesperson I am--even though I'm not necessarily convinced of a product, or its suitability for a customer--I present the product's features and benefits, and explain how it might fulfill the demand or desire of the person interested. I don't make promises, and I don't make guarantees, and I certainly don't try to convince someone with doubts--it's always a relatively straightforward soft-sell. It is what it is--a simple little item that might sit unused in the back of your closet, one that you might regret, or one that in some way might change your life.

That's kind of like me, and who I am on this site. I'm just a person--neither spectacular nor common. For most, I'll probably always be just a little thumbnail pic. For some, maybe an opportunity for e-mail banter, or a photo exchange. And while I'm not making promises, and I'm certainly not making guarantees, perhaps, just perhaps, we'll venture beyond the 'A.F.F. closet', defy regret, and change each other's lives


thisguns4hire007 46M

5/12/2006 11:03 pm

I just wanted to comment: Its nice that your being real, there are not many real people on AdultFriendFinder, as far as single women. I have chatted with some single women, who have been jaded by men, so now they have turned to casual sex here on AdultFriendFinder. I guess it fullfills ther short term needs without the disappointment of a failed relationship.

I've been sort of lucky here, I met someone nice and we talk on the phone, she is a wonderful woman. So for now, I turned off my profile out of respect for here. Now, I was bored and decided to browse Blogs.

Yours is nice honey, I hope and wish you the best. Your thumbnail is lovely. Ive gotten away with just a dick pic, but I have more of me in my profile, if I turn it on again.


LilSquirt_4mfm 67M/67F
3394 posts
5/13/2006 1:28 pm

Nice post gal ....... and Grrrrreat to see you here.

Well Cum to Blogland!!!! Cum see me anytime.


sensually_4ever 42M/F

5/14/2006 3:03 pm

hmm rococco...

welcome.. and well met I must say...
I like your humor and style.. and meeting you in person most certainly will not change that.. we can look at ourselves. and be honest.. but I think it is when we look at ourselves and see all the good instead of the bad? that we become truly real.. tis easy to look at and accept your faults I find.. but to look at and see your beauties? I think that is far harder..

But then I think you and I are, both, self deprecating woman at that...

I will watch your blog always.. and I am happy to call you "friend"


rm_uberguod 50M

5/14/2006 5:54 pm


quite the introspective journey, but tell me did you not let the drier run too long, have you shrunk ALL your clothing (or was that the point - never one to let reality get in the way of a little fantasy - lol)

you write - ostensibly, the purpose of a profile pic is to titilate and to entice - hmmm, perhaps I should remove the goggles - lol

nothing wrong with a little sales pitch I'd say, however, one should recognize that any time new situations are encountered relationships feel the strain - and thus for those used to chatting or blogging as a way of introduction, the face-to-face encounter will break a spell (but hopefully cast another )

I look forward to seeing you blog and from time to time, adding my own brand of grafitti, tie-dye if you will , to your otherwise lucid journal...

the uberguod

shasta1973 43F

5/16/2006 9:10 pm

wow roco, like you, I have always been nervous about meeting people in the real world who I have gotten to know online....will I match up to their expectations of who they think shasta is? ....it has only been since going to the meets that I am learning to let go of this.....however, there will always be a part of me nervous as all hell about that first meeting

thisguns4hire007 46M

5/16/2006 10:17 pm

Thanks for the nice response honey. I have to confess, Im guilty of
"deceit", being here on AdultFriendFinder, I've had some brief encounters with some members. One nightstands are my life, but Im putting an end to it, because of the emty feeling inside afterwards.

I leveled with my new AdultFriendFinder contact, because I want more and I didn't want to lie to her. I'm a bonehead for lying about my age, 35 instead of 45.(in my profile) I'm in good shape, I'm healthy and I feel and act younger than I am. So why did I feel like I had to lie?

Im waiting for her reply by email, I wont call her on the phone until she forgives me, I feel like such an ass. But I'm a gentleman and I'm going to respect her discretion.

I think you had something to do with this, to kind of give me a nudge in the right direction, I already knew I had to, but your comment help me.

Lying about my age worked for younger women for one night stands, but I feel really bad about it now. Could a 31 year old woman be attracted to a 45 year old man, going on 46, I wonder? I had sent her recent picture's of me and I guess she liked them, but the deceit is now the problem.

I hope you don't mind me sharing this with you, I feel I can trust your comments and I welcome comments from others,as well.

After all, this is AdultFriendFinder and not Sex Finder, I need to stop thinking with my dick. I'm keeping my profile turned off until I get my shit together, but I can still recieve emails from her.

elmo_n_tigger 44M/42F
4 posts
5/20/2006 1:38 pm

Ok.. i must say that this post ahs been without qualification a massive dose of HOLYSHIT!! This woman is actually telling it like it is. Not the bullshit that WE all spew at one another in the grand hopes of gettign laid, nor in the dark recesses of our perverted minds. The darkest fears and darkest tragedies of peoples lives are NEVER on view for public consumption. Those fears and loathings, while we may share with our spouse or significant others (at times), are USUALLY reserved for lonely introspective nights. We rarely find or give someone enough ammunition to hurt or destroy our fragile psyche's... I am worthless and unloved, I am useless and unlovable, Most people have felt this way at one time or another, and yet WE could NEVER actually verbalize them. I am soo happy and awed at this post, for it gives me a glimpse of hope for us. I am a somewhat(read EXTREME cynic, and yet occasionally I read or see something that makes me have belief in my fellow perverts, sexfiends, and humans in general.
Thank You very much Rococco for this blog, it was unexpected and uplifting.
Elmo and Tigger

rm_Exwhorecist 49M

5/22/2006 9:39 pm

Wow, who woulda done thought? you certainly have a way with the written word, indeed (on a bit of a tangent, however, why wasn't I on the receiving end of any of the self-professed lingerie pic exchanges you speak of? don't you know that I am THE ultimate lingerie-adoring/loving/ogling/fondling/groping/tantric-boinking/appreciating connoisseur? ...wait, don't answer that, the obvious has a way of being elusive to me at times (see previous masochist comment )

Regardless, nice summation and introspection on this particular topic. Me thinks it's quite the common denominator with respect to chatters and the chat domain.

Anyway, keep on scribing, Roccocoseeta... it's not only cathartic but I believe one gets a "Do Me Like It's 1929" t-shirt/hemp bustier combo once one achieves 1000 views


P.S. I just love the use of your slightly formal 'regards/best regards' format lol....*sigh*...you know, we could definitely produce some brilliant mini-Hemingways - nay, Dostoevskys even. But, again, I seemed to have digressed into Bizzaroworld, yes....*slapping self back into only a mildly rose-tinted reality*

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