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Wine, Dine & then *maybe* Fuck
Wine, Dine & then *maybe* Fuck
I'm lucky enough to have at least one platonic female friend here. She is too nice/shy to write about this topic. However, she sent me a message this week very distressed about some of her experiences on AdultFriendFinder.
Her problem relates to overly blunt messages.
Now, I have written before about the strange population of prudes who populate part of this site, but she is not one of those. No, she is the real deal. She has met people here. She has testimonials. She loves sex. And she is here to find more.
But as she asked me, this week: Whatever happened to the preliminaries? What happened to wanting to have a conversation first? What happened to wining and dining a woman before trying to move to the next level? Would it be so wrong, she asked, if a woman wanted to go out with a man for coffee or drinks or to see a few films, even as they are having a fairly short fling together. Doesn't this time together help build toward the later passion? Doesn't this help with communication?
(The remainder of this post will conclude inside.)
4/2/2005 6:06 am
Well, of course. Communication is at the heart of most great sexual experiences.|
We all know those intangible sparks that shoot off between people are not solely devoted to looks. Much of it is bearing and conversation.
What is scaring good women like this on AdultFriendFinder are the one and two sentence come-on notes that literally say: “Let’s fuck. Contact me.” The women are bombarded with these. Some have had to resort to mentioning this practice in their profiles, warning men not to send them.
Look at the evidence in DCEbony’s blog. (No, she is not the woman I am writing about. DCEbony has an eloquent blog devoted to this problem along with the crazy e-mails she gets.) Some of us don’t get it. Unfortunately, I have seen good women here, some in my network, shut off their profiles because they are bombarded this way.
There aren’t enough women here to begin with. Please don’t scare the ones who are here. There’s nothing wrong with a little wining and dining to see if things click first.
4/2/2005 8:01 am
When I first came across this site I had some doubts about joining. After some looking around I posted an ad.
One thing that always gets me is how many people view it as a “SEX ONLY” site. Sure some people on here want to hook up with someone ASAP (for what ever reason) but some of us do want that “Wine me, Dine me” then lets have sex relationship. When you turn down the “Let’s fuck, contact me” they throw back at you “What are you doing here? This is a SEX site”
HELLO?? I tell them to go read the purpose of A.F.F in the help page. “At AdultFriendFinder, you'll find a community of people using the site as a tool to make connections and find partners for dating, romance, friendship, and a variety of encounters.” I get the feeling a lot of people have blinders on when, or if they looked at this page. They miss the dating, romance, friendship part and only see the “variety of encounters”.
I’m one of DCEbony’s loyal followers. She is AWESOME!
4/22/2005 4:07 pm
I do not seek meaningless sex. I came here to seek sex, but the more I have been here, the less I want to use it for sex. Must be something in my constitution. |
I have to have something at stake beyond just getting my nut. This is something I thought I may change when I first got here, but at this point I am not getting any and I don't want any without a deeper connection.
It doesn't have to be love, but I must have something more than a body to fuck.