Gangbang Desires  

rockwriter58 56M
1524 posts
2/22/2006 8:39 pm

Last Read:
4/24/2006 9:47 am

Gangbang Desires

Part I

Several women have been writing me with this question lately: why do men like the idea of gangbangs so much?

Who knew my electronic mailbag would become such a conduit into the male psyche?

Well, if you are willing, follow me down into the subconscious depths to explore these questions.

Obviously, I can only write from one male point of view. But given that numerous women want to know why their boyfriend, lover or husband are asking them to be part of a gangbang, that’s a clue that many men have this desire, this fantasy.

I’ve seen the pictures of the women asking these questions. They could easily get a line of guys to participate. And their lovers know they are on this site, so they know the possibility exists. That must heighten the desire.

I cannot speak for others, but I’ve had those fantasies too. Not always. It depended upon my partner. For instance, I do not have that fantasy about my wife. I have other fantasies and desires reserved for her. But I have dreamed of other partners in gangbangs. Watching them. Taking part with a pack of other men.

What is behind these desires? And why do we have them?

(The remainder will conclude inside.)


rockwriter58 56M
1389 posts
2/22/2006 8:46 pm

Part II

Feminist writers exploring male sexuality have had their theories. Some have written these male desires have nothing to do with the woman who may be involved in the fantasy. These writers believe this is an innate form of homosexual bonding among heterosexual males. Consciously, the men cannot admit they want to connect on a sexual level with other men; they do so by using the woman involved as a mechanism to achieve that end.

Other female writers have speculated this has nothing to do with loving a woman but just the opposite. In their view this is a subconsciously buried form of misogyny. The man wants to see the woman degraded and turned into a whore before his eyes. No better proof of that than to see her in a gangbang. Could this also be the Madonna vs. Whore complex taken to its ultimate end? (This blog has danced around the edge of that topic before. See [post 239060] as an example.) To take this further, some theorize this is a way that men can actualize and visualize their private fantasies.

Personally, I don’t buy any of those explanations.

Although I have had this fantasy come and go with different partners, it was not because I wanted to see them , or degraded. As far as I can tell, it had nothing to do with homosexual desires for men, because the men aren’t the stars of those fantasies. The star is the woman.

I think I have had those desires because I saw those women as highly sexual. I have both exhibitionist and voyeuristic tendencies. What better way to play those out? You get to watch someone else having sex with the woman you find to be the sexiest one around. And you get to show a group of other men that you are having sex with that hot woman.

I have only broached this fantasy one time to a partner and she said I was “sick.” Within a few weeks she was gone and that fantasy has not been discussed with anyone else since. Until now.

Some men report performance problems when other men are present. I’ve been in a side-by-side swing before and my sexuality gets revved up higher when I see someone else having sex. So performance would not be a problem for me.

My theory is this is the ultimate form of voyeurism: your partner displaying her sexuality with others but for you as the primary audience. It is also a great form of exhibitionism: your partner is the star, and when the other men are watching you both, the man is transformed into the co-star. So this may be why gangbangs are not for everyone. You have to have those exhibitionist and voyeuristic tendencies.

And then there are the semi-anonymous swinging gangbangs. In those you are not really sharing your partner, just joining the line. Why are these so popular? Some men love this idea: sex as a team sport. My fantasies have not focused on those types of gangbangs but I’m sure there was a time when I would have leapt at an invitation to one.


rockwriter58 56M
1389 posts
2/22/2006 8:47 pm

Part III

And what about the women asking about these gangbang desires? Their lovers would like to see them star in a gangbang to fulfill their fantasy. Even though these women are highly interested in sex, they have their reservations.

One said, threesomes are fine, or perhaps swinging with another couple. But she was wary about a group of men. First, she wasn’t sure she would be up to servicing a group of six or more. She also wondered about the quality of the sex. She is particular about her partners. How could the entire group live up to her standards when few men are able to come to her level of sexuality now? Would it just be hours of boring humping without too much style? Those of course are legitimate concerns.

Another woman is concerned about the issue of degradation. Is this a way for her lover to share her around as a semi-anonymous hole for men’s pleasure? How could the sex be as good as with someone she really knows? Finally, she was concerned she might become a commodity in such a scenario. Her lover would rise in esteem with his buddies if he provided them with their fantasy gangbang. What would that do to her self-esteem? Would she just be an object of ego gratification as her lover ingratiated himself to his crowd of friends?

Both of these women may eventually participate in a gangbang. Just the fact that they are inquiring about them says they have not closed off the possibility. And some of the women who write to me tell me that gangbang erotica turns them on. If so, do they cast themselves as the main female character entertaining a group of men?

Finally, why do men keep persisting in pressing these desires? Could it be that we think watching hot women have sex is in itself stimulating and inspirational? From one man’s viewpoint, the answer is “yes.”

(For other entries inspired by the female muses on this site, please see: [post 239060]; Why Women Leave; [post 76252]; and Wine, Dine & then *maybe* Fuck.)

© ♪rockwriter58♪


rm_jayR63 59F
1884 posts
2/22/2006 10:25 pm

Beacause I saw nothing that alluded to it here, I have to ask.
are you aware that women have this fantasy as well? Not in a role reversal but as the star.


GleesFlakyShawl 49M
1620 posts
2/23/2006 8:57 am

    Quoting rm_jayR63:
    Beacause I saw nothing that alluded to it here, I have to ask.
    are you aware that women have this fantasy as well? Not in a role reversal but as the star.
ok rockie i see u were rite, we should have invited our LMV to the cabin booth and let her star her fantasy.....


saddletrampsk 54F

2/23/2006 10:50 am

Rocky
As usual a very thought provoking post..I think I would enjoy a gangbang as I also have exhibitionist and voyueristic tendancies..I would love to "show off" for my man well pleasuring other men..It is a fantasy of mine..


rockwriter58 56M
1389 posts
2/23/2006 2:27 pm

>>>Well, with saddletramp and playrigal proving [blog jayR63] point, I see a sequel brewing. I realize this was a one-sided view from one gender, but that's where the questions were coming from on this one. More to come in the next few weeks, I'm sure. Perhaps we will discuss whether women can truly find satisfaction this way. (Thanks for the compliments playrigal & saddletramp.)

>>>As for taking our favorite LMV into the broadcast booth for a special starring role, [blog dz2502], I think we better check with her that she has that fantasy first. I know there might be a hint there, but the gender wars roll on because guys over-interpret too many hints. I'll leave it to you my friend to make that offer.


NickRules999 39M
9462 posts
2/23/2006 4:52 pm

I could never be in a gangbang. I don't like to share my woman. Now, if the gangbang were reversed, meaning me, the only man in the room with two or more women, that I would jump at. That might sound hypocritical, but I guess it's the basic fear of, "my rocket won't launch in the presence of other men."

I tend to like 1 on 1 with my woman, but if another woman comes into the mix, I allow it. But I could never do an MFM. Got invited to one, but I had to decline, for the same reason.

Come into my realm! You aren't afraid...are you?


Murax 53M  
934 posts
2/23/2006 6:13 pm

OK now, a thread I can really contribute to. Having particpated in and arranged gangbangs (and as moderator of your friendly local gangbang group on AdultFriendFinder) and can actually speak from experience. Every gangbang I've ever been to has been something like a cocktail (pardon the pun) party with lots of sex. The men tend to be friendly and laid back. Usually hanging around drinking beer and watching ESPN while waiting their turn or watching the action. As to "why" I have my own theory. Men are raised to think of woman as not really liking sex. So when a woman participates in a gangbang guys are just fascinated that a woman enjoys sex that much and it becomes a huge turn on. Now, when it comes to gangbangs not all men are created equal. In many cases the fantasy doesn't match the reality, which is walking around and performing for an audience. Its amazing how many "studs" become meek and mild when faced with a room full of hard cocks.

Now, the woman. Every woman I've met at a gangbang is there because she enjoys the attention. They are there because they really, really enjoy being the center of the universe. The kind of attention can vary wildly. I've organized serious BDSM gangbangs as well as vanilla ones (vanilla gangbang? LO but the common thread is that the women love to show off and crave the attention.

If anyone is interested I have the Rules for a Gangbang. Just ask, I'll post.


rockwriter58 56M
1389 posts
2/24/2006 2:35 pm

>>>I am so glad that Darth Murax and The Dark Lord Nick both commented back-to-back. In those two comments you see the wide differences among men. Thanks to you both.

More specifically to Darth Murax, I appreciate having the view of a real veteran of the scene commenting here. He never admits his modesty, but he is too modest not to show his expertise. If you are interested in the group he moderates on this topic, please check out Fairfax Gangbang Club. Great to have his firsthand contribution to the discussion. Perhaps we can persuade him to post the rules here or in a separate entry.


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