Fiction or Friction?  

rockwriter58 56M
1524 posts
5/10/2005 3:05 pm

Last Read:
6/7/2008 3:20 pm

Fiction or Friction?

"Why can't fucking just be about fucking?"
Linda Fiorentino in "The Last Seduction"

Nothing is apparently that easy, even in a place like this.

When I first ventured into this virtual sex convention, I stumbled across a short note in the magazine section. I wish I had copied it now, because I can no longer find it. But the gist of it has been gnawing at my nerve endings.

A woman was lamenting the state of affairs here. She said that nothing could be taken at face value. She said, sure, some women’s profiles talk about fast and easy sex. Erica Jong’s zipless fuck. The no-strings rendezvous. Women so filled with lust they can’t wait to meet you. Like Fiorentino in The Last Seduction they won’t even take you home. They will just have sex with you out behind the bar where you meet; climbing the fence with lust as they bring themselves off on you.

To her this was just a convenient fiction. She said, no matter what we write here we all want a long-term, loving relationship. Don’t be fooled by the hype and the necessary social trappings some women wrap themselves in to acculturate themselves to an adult website meant for sex.

(The remainder will conclude inside.)

rockwriter58 56M
1389 posts
5/10/2005 3:08 pm

Part II

Likewise, she generalized, that the men all want just the opposite. They want Barbie-doll girls for a quick and easy lay. They want disposable women for an afternoon of fun: fuck ‘em and forget ‘em, as they say in the lockerroom. They want Linda Fiorentino in heat, in high heels, holding on to that fence and fucking herself into an intense orgasm. They want uncomplicated sex with nothing afterward. What men want, she said, is also fiction.

Because these dual fictions come together (men wanting what supposedly doesn’t exist and women pretending they are willing to give it) she termed the entire state of affairs here a failure.

But are we talking about fiction or friction?

I have no first-hand proof that sexually aggressive women actually exist here. I believe they do. I do believe there are women here who want low stress/high sex diets. They don’t want the issues of a steady relationship. They are married and already have a primary relationship. They are turned off to long-term relationships but not to sex. I see their postings here. I correspond with a few. Now, this is on a strictly platonic level, otherwise I’d have my proof now, wouldn’t I.

So I do not believe they are fiction, although their numbers are far smaller than the male imagination would make them.

What we are really discussing is friction between the sexes. Isn’t this somewhat natural? Although I don’t ascribe to the fact that “War Between the Sexes” is a natural state, because of society, because of biology, because of an unfair economy, men and women often see the world from very different places. And the chemicals driving us are very different. Estrogen and testosterone are not the same. Certainly, the reasons we come to this place with different viewpoints and desires is more complex than our chemical make-up. But we have to acknowledge people are here for different reasons: live and let live.

Could hooking up with the opposite sex be as simple as Linda Fiorentino’s character wants it to be in that film? Her lament is the opposite of the woman who said this place is a failure. In the film, her male partner is the one who wants to get to know her and establish a relationship. She’s the one who wants to keep it stripped down and simple. Apparently, some of us are willing to bet there’s a happy medium between these two laments.

Of course, Fiorentino’s view is also a fiction. And a fiction from a male viewpoint too. Steve Barancik is the screenwriter who put those words in Fiorentino’s sexy mouth.

So why can’t fucking just be about fucking? I guess it boils down to a matter of natural friction.

LustGoddess2469 50F  
2453 posts
5/10/2005 4:10 pm


I'd have to agree with you that this sentiment is more apparent with men than with women, especially on the site. However, there are always exceptions to the rule, and that is also certainly true here.

As far as what that woman in the article wrote about "no matter what we write here we all want a long-term, loving relationship.", I think everyone, deep down, wants to feel wanted, needed, appreciated - loved, even if they won't admit it. While repressing this basic need that we ALL have of being loved, we try to compensate for it by having the "quick and easy lay" that presents itself for the taking. ...... crap, I lost my train of thought.

Oh well, if the train comes back through the station I'll finish my response in a new post. (It sucks getting old. LOL )


zenyen 65M

5/10/2005 8:22 pm

I think both generalizations have a basis in reality, but the total polarity of the viewpoints is used to dramatize a fundamental difference between the sexes. Men and women are arrayed on a continuum between these two extremes, with men more heavily weighted toward one end and women the other, but an individual could be anywhere along the continuum.

LustGoddess2469 50F  
2453 posts
5/10/2005 9:05 pm

Yeah, what Zenyen said. lol


CainDeepInYa 32M  
35 posts
5/12/2005 12:18 am

Man that is deep i am going to have to go pick that book up. Thanks for the reply on my blog as well really helped me get somethings straight within my head.

rockwriter58 56M
1389 posts
1/9/2006 9:27 am

>>>I think you know [blog Dysgyzed] that I am all for "live and let live." Otherwise I would not have written Why Women Leave.

I too believe it is possible to find that compartmentalized lightning and bottle it for a time. But it has been very difficult finding it. I suppose it wouldn't be lightning if it were so common.

And you are reading my mind: down and dirty, slutty is what I really like in bed. I can see that you would be more than two hands full, and I like that thought quite a bit.


Long ago, I did not realize that often you should respond to comments in the blog. I still don't respond to all the comments because I think they stand on their own. But I probably should have acknowledged these. No one gives you a blog etiquette rulebook though.

So for instance, zenyen was here... and he rarely speaks at all anymore. But he once was one of the most faithful readers of this blog. I haven't seen him in a long while though.

It appears [blog MidnightDestar] morphed into Drksidecreation (as so many do) and is still around, although he hasn’t been back to this blog in a long while.

Luckily, we still have good friend Lust Goddess around, although that train never did get back to this station. I agree with her about basic needs, but I think I agree more with [blog Dysgyzed] about the layers of desire.

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