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Can You Market Desire?
Can You Market Desire?
Because you are reading this on AdultFriendFinder you are probably nodding affirmatively.
But what I'm talking about is the self-marketing/self-promotion that goes on here.
Is it better to be straight-forward about desires? Or should marketing be involved?
You can make up your own mind. I know what I'm being told though and the suggestions don't sit well with me.
The suggestions have come from some of the self-appointed Net Nannies who frequent this site and who have no interest in sex. Many of them will freely tell you they have a man and they are just here for their own jolly reasons. (I suspect they are control freaks but perhaps that is a different post.)
Before I go too far down this road, I want to be clear. There are good people here (both female and male) and many have given me good advice since I landed here in this strange country of virtual sex. (More accurately: a virtual convention for sex chat.) Some women have given me positive feedback about my posts, profile and other writing.
But others are offended.
They are offended by the directness of my desires.
The Net Nannies would have me rewrite my profile into something I could read in the newspaper personals: something that discusses long walks, sunsets, and trips to the movies. Don't get me wrong. I have a passion for films. And of course I'd be willing to go on an informal date with someone I meet here with no expectations for that meeting other than to get a sense of the other person. But I think we should all be adult and realize the purpose of many of us being here and many of us meeting is that we want it to lead somewhere else. Destination: SEX.
And that desire is offensive to some here.
Besides the offense at this directness, some have suggested I tailor my desires to fit a particular type of woman. They think I'm confused. "You like women of all colors," I've been told, "but you should choose one shade of the rainbow." I also like young women and middle aged women. I also like large women and slim women. (Yes, I do have particular tastes in what I like in a woman's face, what I like in her mind, and how her overall build works, but those are all very complicated aesthetic features that don't fit neatly on a form.)
Is it so wrong to like many types of women? I have had experience with many types and I have come to like a variety for the different talents and physical attributes that they can bring to the bedroom (or another location). Is it so wrong to worship, adore and desire a variety of looks? Some here accuse me of feeling like any woman will do. Those folks aren't reading closely.
Sure, it isn't good direct marketing, but my libido isn't always manipulated in the obvious ways. I think I'm sticking with the fact that I love the way women look, feel, smell, and taste. (And of course the sound of a woman's pleasure cannot be beat.) And I like the way many different women delight my senses. That is never going to change.
I stood high by the mountain tops/
Naked to the world/
In front of/
Every kind of girl/
There was long one's tall ones, short ones, brown ones/
Black ones, round ones, big ones....
War "Spill the Wine"
(I had trouble with the original posting. I think the blog software on the site is still a bit buggy. So I am reposting this.)
4/22/2005 3:51 pm
Nice essay. |
For myself, I was eager and gung ho the first few days on here. Now I hardly browse local profiles anymore. (besides, I hit most of em up in the first 10 hours lol) I spend my time blogging at the momment. I still hope to meet someone, I am just taking my time about it.
4/7/2006 9:29 am
I agree with mizzkitka.. I'm never offended.. |
I so much rather someone not market there selves as something else..
tell me your true desire.
The worse I can do is give you a polite no but may want to chat about it.
Even though my profile reads not currently looking, happily married . I can't help but be flattered that they try.
And I'm a flirt slut and hubbys knows this and so is he.
again.. great post
under the stars
We choose to write
you choose what you comprehend.
read twice and be nice
every key stroke... has a heart beat
4/13/2006 11:35 am
>>>I love that term [blog MRSMUFFLAND]... flirt-sluty ! Oh, I am definitely one of those too. That's what got me involved with Flirting is Hurting.|
>>>And although it is a bit late for acknowledgements I would like to do so. (I had so much to learn about blogging when I put this together!)
As always, [blog mizzkitka] gives us sage advice. No wonder she is so popular.
>>>I'm guessing that Keith gave up on looking because by now he probably has too many offers from folks... and those are offers he didn't initiate. He's just a funny and attractive guy: the best combination.
>>>I also want to thank [blog sexyfitwoman]... as folks can see, she and Keith were some of the earliest supporters of this blog.