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World Cup Rules And Regulations
World Cup Rules And Regulations
The following is a list of rule and regulations that should be passed on to wifes and girlfriends ,fiances etc with regard to the world cup.
(1) From the 9th of june 2006 to the end of the tournament you should read the sports pages and inform yourself as much as possible about the current crop of games.
Doing this will enable you to join in conversation during the aforementioned time period. Failure to do this will result in being frowned upon or ignored.
Do not come complaining that we do not talk anymore or that you are being ignored if you dis-regard this rule.Be prepared and informed.
(2) During the period of the competition the tv is mine and mine alone. Any attempt to take, use or even look at the remote control will result in an arguement of biblical proportions.
(3) I am not a monster and realise that at times it may become necessary to pass in front of the tv. This may be done by crawling on all fours so as not to obstruct the screen and quietly to avoid distracting me which may cause me to miss an essential movement on screen.
(4) If you decide to walk naked around the house in a futile bid to attract my attention feel free to do so (at all times observing rule 3).However do not catch cold as for the next month I will be far too busy to bring you to the doctor or bring you lemsip in bed.
(5) For the duration of the competition I may appear to be deaf and mute. This is merely a temporary thing and I will show signs of life should I need food, a beer from the fridge or anything else that you can assist me with.
(6) The fridge at all times should be stocked with cold beers and re-plenished on a regular basis. It is also essential to have a wide variety of snacks easily accessible to you so that you can provide me with any sustenance when required.
(7) If my team is losing it is possible (even probable) that I will be throwing expletives at the screen. If this is the case please do not tell me to be quiet, that the neighbours kids are asleep or that it is only a game of football. The latter of these being grounds for divorce and/or desertion.
( You are welcome to watch 1 game with me and you may even talk to me at half time (but only when the ads are on). Please note I said 1 game and this is not an excuse for us to spend 'Quality Time' together.
(9) The replays are important. I dont care if I have just seen it I want to see it again, many many times.
(10) Tell your friends and family not to have any babies or other child related events during the competition.Should anything of this nature crop up that requires my attendance be aware that (a) I will not go and (b) I will not go.
(11) If a game is being repeated later in the evening do not say that I have recorded it or that I have seen it already and suggest that I switch to something we can both watch. This suggestion will result in referral to rule 2
(12) You are entitled to watch the programmes of your choice between 2am and 8am unless there is a game being repeated during this time-frame.
(13) You have not hoovered under the couch in 4 years now is not the bloody time to start. The placement of the couch is an integral part of the watching procrss and should not be disturbed.
May we as men thankyou in advance for your cooperation and remember its only a couple of weeks till the Premiership kicks off again
6/22/2006 4:49 pm
LMAO ... your one cheeky fecker...... |
But I gotta hand it to.... yogi thats fookin brill..