Reduced Expectations: Looking at a Downward Spiral?  

rm_xnite 46M
37 posts
9/20/2005 11:46 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Reduced Expectations: Looking at a Downward Spiral?


What Has Happened?!?
I became a full time member just over two weeks ago last weekend. My first night on was a "Buzz" of activity. I was enjoying the chat and getting more IM Yahoo messages than I knew what to do with. I'll be quick to note that my profile included interests in couples and groups. (I'll follow up on that later). I openly and actively participated in Cam sessions in the Web cam areas. I had very few bad issues of note the first few times online. By being on Cam, I have met four woman in my Network that way. I also came close with two meetings, which for various reasons have not panned out. So out of the gates it wasn't a bad start, and it all looked good going forward.

As a Straight Male I take the meaning of this site to heart. I'm looking for like minded Woman who are in pursuit of the same interests. If you are a straight male and don't engage or participate in the "Visual Areas" of this site, unless you are hunk superstar, you can't expect to get noticed. There are hoards of males of all types on AdultFriendFinder, and you may need to consider the promotional side. It is but just one way to attract some interest of women to view your profile. So "Personal Exhibition" so to speak is not an issue with me, and if it helps to get my profile viewed by interested woman, the better. Of course "Exhibition" in "Web cam" isn't every woman's cup of tea, but I am not looking for a woman that wants tea. All that in check what I didn't anticipate was the amount of Male BS I was going to contend with going through the process. (Hence my 2nd post "Ladies You Have My Empathy: Men are Pigs")

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Ladies You Have My Empathy: Men are Pigs Part II

A Need to Vent
If there is one reason why I would not renew my membership on this site its MEN. When I'm in Cam/Chat in the various groups, I am sure to specify my greetings now when entering a room. It sounds stupid and corny but Hello Ladies..... is my attempt to filter out Men from jockeying up on my Cam. Unfortunately even then, it takes all of 5 seconds before guys start jumping on. Given enough time they will begin to PM with the onslaught of crude, rude, and offensive suggestions to no end. "I want to see your Cock", "xnite CUM for me" and so on. This is just freakin insane. This is not why I joined this site. I am here to meet with interested woman. It says that in my profile. Just what the hell does STRAIGHT mean. IT MEANS I"M NOT GAY, nor do I have any interest in it. You are ruining my otherwise fun experience here. It's to the point I have pieces of yellow paper lined up like cue cards. "I'm not into Men..Please Leave Now. And when they refuse, I have to shut the Cam down and repeat the process all over again.

Now today I get a Network invite from a man. How does that happen? Are men truly oblivious to the obvious?
And please, no one get on a high horse about this and skew it in some PC manner. I would never say to a woman "The bitch asked for it" or "Harassing woman is appropriate under the proper circumstances" In my book a Male should be presumed Straight unless he states otherwise. Thinking the other way around is irresponsible and completely self serving

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On Couples: Where is the Woman in that Cam?

In all fairness to Couples. I posted my interest in meeting Couples and Groups at the start. This piece is no way intended to paint a broad picture of the couples on this site. There are those I have had specific talks with, but by the feel of it, it is something I may never really feel comfortable with. For now this something rooted in Fantasy that is better not played out.

I almost posted a piece here titled "Your Profile: Be Careful What You Ask For". For me "Couples" are a curious aspect of my interests. Always has been, maybe always will be.Whether or not it ever plays out will be based on my trust, communication, and understanding with the couple involved. And without retreading, my profile states my orientation. Again, that doesn't ever seem to make amount to much. Being new to the idea of couples I did not know what to expect. Unfortunately, my experiences seemed to get crossed right out of the gate. While on Cam, I was getting PM responses from a presumed Couple. I would check the profile and then join chat. Unfortunately, when I would click on the corresponding Cam from which the PM came, I would see a guy stroking his cock. There is something very wrong with that picture. Seeing that enough times and I removed Couples and Groups from my profile interests. There are just far too many men playing both sides of the fence.

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Final Words: A Positive Suggestion

Ok, by this sites standards I am felling like a complete conservative. I don't read between the lines and hope for something that's not written there. It's my belief that no one should presume to favor their own sexual interests above anyones stated preferences. If they are not in line with your orientation, then you leave them be and move on.

AdultFriendFinder would really benefit from a better ID system. The current system of (F) (M) (C) etc is highly lacking. This method is completely ineffective in evaluating peoples sexual orientation. Include the fact that the Chat system regularly bogs down making chat unbearable. Clicking on member names to see their profiles becomes a task. It's the wait, (sometimes over a minute) for a profile to load. If and when it does load, that's when I find out the woman is seeking another woman or a couple is seeking a woman. These ID's need to be updated to facilitate members meeting members with the similar Orientation interests. This would help filter some of the unwanted or misdirected comments to women and men on this site. It is by no means a complete fix, but it is way to avoid the unintended offense.

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