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We always here "the rules" from the feminine side. OK- we now hear the guys' side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present you again!!
1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and NASCAR
1. Sunday=sports. It's like the full moon or the chaging of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Crying is blackmail
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniverseries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thrity, would look good with your dress?
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you wnat help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 monthes is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Check your own oil! Please
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissable in an agrument. Infact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. IF you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us hot you want it done--not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and never will be. Our lack of mind-reading abilities is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing" we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassel.
1. I'm in shape, ROUND is a shape.
These comments were given to me by a friend to be a joke take them for what they are.
9/28/2005 10:16 am
shopping is to a sport.....see if you can catch me with that credit card in my hand. victoria secrets doesnt accomidate the fuller figured woman of today. so get over it. directions.... and that is why columbus ended up in the wrong place. apperantly your friend is very lonely|