Friction Fiction  

rm_waydeep34 45M
14 posts
12/20/2005 5:40 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Friction Fiction

As always, I don't know much.

I took a tour of some of the other blogs to see what people write about the other day. I found some interesting patterns. I will not say what the female paaterns are, because they are most likely offensive to my wide female readership (so far 3).

However, some, not all male posts have the distinct flavor of deceit. For the most part, I stay away from the male blogs, for fear of running into some guy's schlong shot. I am indeed comfortable with my heterosexuality and I am not a homophobe, but it is still very unsettling to make a simple mouse click and suddenly be taring down the barrel of some guy's unit.

Anyway, I ran across this one post that really had me gagging for air. I won't use the poor guy's name, but what I will do is take a rough cut of what he posted, and translate it for you ladies who may not be in the know (Remember, I do everything for the ladies). Here we go:

Blogpost: I was getting pretty tired of the old pussy that I had been getting lately, and decided to bring someone new cooze into the stable.

Translation: My ex-girlfriend's restraining order finally kicked in, and I am about as welcome at her house as fart in an astronaut suit.

Blogpost: Me and my boys get to the first club and decide that the herd is kind of thin, and decide to go to the next one on the list.

Translation: All of my ex-girlfriends friends are there, and they are telling everybody about my bout with anal worts.

Blogpost: The fellas and I decide to go our seperate ways, so that we could get into our individual pursuits.

Translation: It's 10 minutes before closing time, and they have all made and completed successful booty calls. I haven't.

I cannot do the middle part, because someone may figure out who posted this blog. However, I can do the end:

Blogpost: After displaying my gift of gab, I convince this really hot girl to come over to my crib.

Translation: After buying the bartender with three teeth left 8 shots of tequila and telling her that I am the drummer from Depeche Mode, she agrees to come back to my house.

Blogpost: The chick is all over me, but once I get home, I kind of lost my interest in her, and decided to take her home.

Translation: We were about to do the deed, but when I got home, my Mom was in my room/basement doing laundry.

Ladies, I thought that this was a place for creative exercise and not bloviated drivel. I am a true horndog, but I just cannot see myself engaging in friction fiction for the sake of scoring some impressionable ass. Unless of course, it works. Ladies, do these tawdry tales of false copulation work? If I were to take all my creativity and use it to make up my own posts of false freaky tales, I would score? Let me know, and I will get to postin'.

Otherwise ladies, tell me what really makes a woman quake with but a few key strokes.

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