ownership of the genitals  

rm_wave1127 48F
12 posts
4/3/2005 3:08 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

ownership of the genitals

damn, this is cool. i get to write whatever i want and people might read it and write back and tell me stuff and omg i'm just so freakin' excited. mmmmmhhhhmmm. yep i sure am. WARNING for those unwilling readers of my thoughts in this blog: i'm pretty politically incorrect and yeah a smart ass, but i've got some good life experience behind some of these opinions, so please read the following thoughts tongue in cheek, or wherever you want your tongue to be...

seriously though, i guess this is kinda a good outlet since my brain is always working overtime. i wish i could turn it off sometimes. sometimes i hate being a girl. there are times when i know exactly what a rational sane person should be thinking and doing but i have to fight back the irrationality (girl hormones) but alas it frequently wins. ugh. i think in my next lifetime it would be freakin' kick-ass to be a man because i could be a ho and it would be kinda like a badge of honor. it would be a lot easier for me because seriously, i have an m.d. after my name and well, you know how the bling bling brings on the women. i mean there are women going to nursing school solely for the purpose of marrying a doctor. okay women out there, i know not all nurses do that, but i say this only because i have actually talked to actual r.n.'s who openly admit it. anyway, with an m.d. after my name (even though lots of m.d.'s make diddlysquat nowadays) i could have a little dick and i'd still get some pussy!!! of course i'd be really respectful and honest and tell all of the women in my posse how i'm not interested in a long term relationship and i would just sit back and watch them try to change my mind. women do that. yep. we do.

which brings me to the ownership of the genitals thing. just one of the many twisted thoughts running through my brain. i think the problem with relationships is the idea that you "own" that person's penis/vagina and that's where the issues of jealousy, insecurity and irrationality arise. which leads to anger, resentment and eventually withholding of sex and inevitably infidelity.

i'm trying to reset my mindset. i'm not a typical girl in this world. i am financially well-off, so i don't need any money from a man. i'm got a pretty good emotional support system with my friends and family and i've done lots of soul searching to know i am strong enough to be alone in this world no matter what shit life may throw at me. but i still have those sexual needs. damn, if i could just get rid of those urges i probably wouldn't be here on AdultFriendFinder or any other dating site for that matter.

the problem i find with any of these sites is that it introduces interaction between human beings. anytime you interact with another person, their feelings and thoughts and opinions and experiences are influenced by anything you might say or do to them, and vice versa. i don't want to hurt anyone's feelings nor do i want to get hurt. i think honesty and respect can help bypass any potential negativity. but again because we're human, it's easier said than done.

so back to reframing my mindset. i don't want to "own" another human being. i don't want to change anyone. i'm open to meeting or talking to whoever i meet here or in the real world. but i have my own thought making process too and if i'm not comfortable with that person's personality or there is no physical chemistry or he doesn't get my jokes or i just plain don't agree with what the other person thinks i'm not going to tell that person off, i'm just going to walk away. now don't get me wrong, i'm not a martyr, far from it, anyone who tries to hurt me i will communicate to them to stop in a diplomatic way, and then walk away. i will fight for my honor if someone is encroaching in dangerous territory.

i've been at the immature stage of thinking "dammit, why can't they just do what i want", but i've found it just leads to endless frustration. i've grown a lot over the years it's an ongoing, neverending process. i find that by talking to others and hearing their experiences i can learn from others too.

i'm interested in surrounding myself with others who are trying to achieve that same mindset. it's hard to do, especially in this puritanical, christian hyper-conservative society where we are supposed to abide by the rules of other human beings in charge...who decides to be in charge and who decides to make all these rules?

again, i think with honesty and respectful treatment of humans, life should be easy. but it's not, because frankly there is a lot of secondary gain in this world today. people leaching off of others. you know, women wanting to marry for money; men wanting to get into a woman's panties; lawyers wanting to make money off of horrible atrocities; etc...you know the whole speil. it sucks but i guess i'm just trying to avoid the leaches and meet people who just want to be beautiful.

you know that movie "shallow hal"? where the woman's soul looks like gwyneth paltrow? well my soul looks like angelina jolie!! i'm kick-ass and i know it. and i'm the most humble person i know too!!!

have a beautiful life everyone.

fun2bewith999 57M
3 posts
4/3/2005 6:08 pm

Tina, you can have a hell of a relationship with someone who truly compliments you without "ownership" issues coming up. just take the time to find the right person, and hell, don't rush into anything because the hormones are humming. Hell, we're human..most of us are always gonna have those sexual urges

rm_wave1127 48F

4/5/2005 8:38 am

i don't really know what it tells me, but then again it wasn't to get comments from people, just an exercise to release my thoughts, ummmm a blog. what are you trying to say?

rm_kanku888 54M
2 posts
4/13/2005 9:30 pm

Dear Tina ,
I wish I had read this prior to sending you my email..Then it wouldn't have sounded like I had a knot up my arse anyway because yours truly decided to 'update' his info midstream it's going to take snail mail time to get to you apparently another 48hrs..when you get ingest it and give me your comments from the hip if you please....by the Doc,Excellent blog...

rm_kanku888 54M
2 posts
4/13/2005 9:32 pm

Sorry about the typo's ..Tired as a Mofo...I'm sure you'll figure them out....

rm_338338Aries 49M
1 post
4/18/2005 9:20 am

Hello Tina,
You're my very first visit to a Blog, and like all "firsts", I'll remember you. Yes, life should be easier, but it's not for me either. I too am at odds with the "christian-hyper-conservative-society" and unfortunately that will never change; I'm convinced they're wrong and so I live successfully on their edge of periphery. There I'm somewhat happy, but I realize too that the prospects of meeting a like minded female where I live (MT) is very remote. I appreciate your honesty in your analysis of how most women think and act - their true nature has been an insurmountable wall for me to scale over the long haul. As for the never ending process of growing, I find if I reach much further for my natural path, the world might become too inhospitable. On a lighter note, I'll be in Tampa for a week beginning on April 22nd .... perhaps?
Thank You, Aries 338

discrete484 60M

4/19/2005 5:05 pm

I really enjoyed reading your blog. As I was reading I was thinking about my own situation and why I would even post a profile when I have a beautiful loving wife at home. Is it that men and women are tired of what they have, or is it that they are just looking for something new and exciting to spice up their lives. Is it worth possibly losing everything for that one or two exotic meetings. Only time will tell. Fortunately for me no one has replied to any of my e-mails so I may never have to worry about getting caught. Enough said, but I did want you to know that reading your blog put my own mind to work. Thanks

rm_imafry 47M

5/22/2005 4:00 pm

Hi Tina,

After reading your entry, blog that is, I can agree with some of what you say. As for people hurting or being hurt, I'm not sure if I can relate to simply being hurt. No one can hurt you like you family or your friends. This is because you care about them, most of the time anyway. When you don't care about someone they can only hurt you physically. The difficult part to this though is when you meet someone that you begin to care about, now that person has the power to hurt you.

As for the other topics in your entry, a lot of people are simply users and willing to use other people the get what they want. That's why some people can call your house and you tell them to get to the point, because you know that they want something and it's not a social call.


rm_gordoninfl 47M

6/6/2005 4:52 pm

It is great to find a women is not out to seee what they can get from a man (last few where a bad experience. I am looking for a soul mate and spiret that likes romance and can be themselves.

coffeepond 46M
1 post
6/17/2005 1:03 am

I enjoyed your meditation, well stated. good luck. d

DrGonzo17 36M
34 posts
7/22/2005 1:54 pm

Tina you rock totally! You put your feelings and thoughts into words well, thats a really importan skill to have. I have it, and its kind of a problem for me because I can write what i want to convey to people but I have a hard time communicating vocally with them. I can never really say what I want. I usually just keep it inside, but I'm getting better. . . . Anyway I liked your blog, real food for thought. I think everyone likes it, including myself, mostly for the fact that we all see our own thoughts running parrallel at times with the same attitude and insecurities. Which is why music gets popular, why books are read. Why anything another human being creates inspires us and the reason we 'like' it. lol ok I'm rambling. Sorry, great blog! Write more, I'm sure everyone will love to hear what you have to say.

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