Stoned and thinking out loud.....  

rm_vtlibra 47F
81 posts
3/12/2005 5:39 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Stoned and thinking out loud.....

Morning all..Again another snowy weekend in Vermont..calling for anywhere from 6-12 inches...Inches,reminds me that I havent had sex in a month. What is wrong with me..?..lol..Im single..cute kinda..love sex..and there are A TON of men out there, I shouldnt be alone in bed everynight. I took out my favorite vibe last night and masterbated for the first time. It actually was a pretty intense orgasm (enough so that the neighbors got VERY quiet upstairs..the like to listen)but I decided the one wasnt enough as I could feel another starting to peak..I turned the vibe down..and continued to have 3 more. I fell dead asleep, right in the wet spot i left on the bed(yes..I am a..) and slept all night.Woke up early(5 am)..I love the early mornings, when it feels like the world is still asleep..i light candles..make coffee..and sit on my bed looking out into the field behind my apartment, its beautiful this morning with the snow falling..this is my time to think, peacefully although the CATS have a different idea..its time to EAT..and than PLAY HARD..smash something..piss mommy off..and THAN lay down all over the bedroom. This morning I am thinking about the horrible deep dig marks on my right breast, given to me by the mentally handicapped man that I work with full time. I had to restrain him twice on wednesday and it resulted in a trip to the docs for me..for a shot of steriods in my back and a check on my breast for infection.Risks of the job..and well worth it..as they days are VERY rarely like that..but still..makes me reflect. Anyway..time for me to do some paper work..and than I think I am going to crawl back under my covers with the book im reading..and just do nothing this morning...till later...xox...Stacey


eyeluv2turnUon 57M
16 posts
3/12/2005 4:11 pm

Hi Stacey, Well being alone can be a good thing, but as Jimi Hendrix said; "loneliness is such a drag." My life is the opposite. I am hardly ever able to be "alone." If it isn't one of my kids calling (all grown) or my stepdaughter asking for a ride somewhere, it is my fience bothering me with something stupid or wanting to go somewhere. Don't get me wrong, I love all of them and feel happy they are in my life. But sometimes I just want to be left alone and be alone to do whatever I want, including masturbate without the threat of being inturrupted (Yes, my fience knows I do that, actually she loves to watch). In-fact, while I am writing this, I was just inturrupted. My fience and I have a great relationship, (typeing to you isn't a secret, I am not that kind of man) but sometimes I just want to get away for a couple days to fish or something and be ALONE! So, if your feeling down about your living status, just think of me and know there is someone who envies your loneliness.


rm_vtlibra 47F
17 posts
3/13/2005 12:38 am

thanks for the response eyeluv. I totally understand your point of view as my girlfriends with busy households say the same. They find it odd that I envy them..and I do. But I do know when the timne comes that I have a big loud home like that, there will be times when i will wish for my space back again. The secret I think..is to finding that happy medium.Again..thanks for the response, I would love to hear even more...xox..Stacey


eyeluv2turnUon 57M
16 posts
3/14/2005 6:52 am

Morning Stacey! Your right, when the time comes and you are surrounded 24/7 with people who, although you may love, you wish they would just GO AWAY and leave you alone for awhile. Working in the human services field, as you an I do, also sometimes adds to my frustration of wanting to be alone. The demands of others who depend on me to help them sometimes makes me want to work serving ice cream cones or something like that. For you your work may be good therapy (I am assuming here), but for me it makes me want to scream and run away sometimes. But I don't, becuase I love my work.
Talk to again!
PS: Beautiful Breasts... )


rm_vtlibra 47F
17 posts
3/17/2005 5:25 am

Hi there eyes..Thanks for the comment on my breats and if i dont stop being lazy , get back to working out, they are going to stop looking so good. Life is funny like that..When you are alone for too long..it doesnt feel good..and when u dont have time to yourself...well, that doesnt feel good either. Finding someone to share your life with, that believes in EVERYONE having their own space, and I dont just mean in a physical sense, I also mean as in a "space", room, domain, your little part of the house, yard, etc..whatever works for you and where you find peace.Its amazing how much of a difference it can sometimes make you feel, when the pressures of NOT being ALONE, as I start to get overwhelming...Till next time..xox..Stacey..ps..please keep writing to me..this is great!


eyeluv2turnUon 57M
16 posts
3/18/2005 7:00 am

Morning Stacey, aaaahhhh, the everlasting pursuit of 'finding' our own little space in this world is an elusive one. Unfortunately it is sometimes elusive by our (or my own speaking for myself) choice. I have started to make adjustments in my life in an attempt to provide "my own little space" for myself. Last year I started to remodel my basement. The project is moving along at a slow but steady pace. It involves separating the basement into three parts; one area will be the laundry room and space to store extra canned food and stuff, the main area will be a family room, and the third part (the important area here) will be my little wood working shop (I am good with my hands, and occasionally my mind works OK too). When I first envisioned this setup, I thought to myself; "how great it will be to have a woodshop, a little world of my own I can slip into and be left alone." Man and machine, the way it was meant to be." However, I quickly snapped back to reality when my fiancé said; "oh, it will be nice to have a little woodshop where 'we' can work on projects together. Well, there goes my solitude and little bit of piece of mind I imagined I would be allowed. The only saving grace here is my fiancé wants to build specially designed furniture for sexual activity (bi the way, she is indeed very creative in this area), so I can live with this I guess...) In this scenario lies the ancient dilemma.

In my situation I find myself constantly compromising my 'needs' for the needs of others, and not always in return for sexual gratification. Often, I sacrifice my needs to help those I care about meet their needs, either it be one of my children whom I give $100.00 dollars to so they can pay a bill, when what I really wanted to do with that money is buy myself new clothes (my only feminine side, I love buying new clothes for myself) or a new computer gadget. It could also be going "above the call of duty," to help a client meet their goals, even if that effort caused me to miss (or be very late for) an important family event. Either scenario has the same end result; I didn't really get what I needed or what was important to me. I sacrificed those needs for the needs of someone else.

Until next time,
Me.....)


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