It's Called Privacy  

CredoCheapChoke 53M
8 posts
7/31/2006 7:20 pm

Last Read:
8/1/2006 11:56 pm

It's Called Privacy

First, a few definitions:

Main Entry: pri暇a搾y
1 a : the quality or state of being apart from company or observation : SECLUSION
1 b : freedom from unauthorized intrusion - one's right to privacy -
(source: webster)

Main Entry (3): lie
1 : to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive
2 : to create a false or misleading impression
transitive verb : to bring about by telling lies - - lied his way out of trouble -
(source: webster)

Main Entry (2): lying
1 : marked by or containing falsehoods : FALSE - a lying account of the accident -
(source: webster)

I was talking to my roommate this evening about the common practice on personals sites of answering certain questions with the phrase 'prefer not to say.' Many people do it. Some people have questioned whether answering that way is any different from lying. I would have to say that there is a huge difference.

In my mind there is a world of difference between making information available to anyone who looks for it, and making that information available to specific people who I've authorized to have it. I'm a dynamic guy, and no quick on-line survey even begins to adequately address the breadth and range of what I am capable of, what I have done or might do in the future, where I am or where I have been, and who I am as a result of having traveled my path.

While I am extremely open with people once I know them, I feel it is my prerogative to know who they are before I reveal many things about myself. I'm not misleading them, nor is any intent to deceive involved. I simply believe that I am the best judge of who gets to learn my secrets. I value my privacy, just like I value my openness in areas where I have chosen to be highly visible.

So if answering 'prefer not to say' isn't lying, what is lying? I'm glad you asked. Lying IS the deliberate effort to deceive others. To present oneself in a way which is not factual or accurate. To create a false impression of oneself.

I have nothing to hide: I'm 42. On my profile, I've answered the questions accurately. Let me ask you: Is answering 'prefer not to say' the same thing as saying I am ten years younger than I am? I don't think so. Saying I am younger than my chronological age is a deliberate effort to deceive.

'Prefer not to say' is an opening for you to engage me, to converse with me and show me what you are made of, so I can decide whether I am interested in getting to know you. One of my personal goals is to surround myself with thinking friends with personalities to match. If you are simply trying to pick women off a menu of qualities where you match, how much do you really know about them, other than perhaps their breast size and that they think they drink a lot or a little. How useful are those things? I'd say, not very.

In fact, when none of the alternatives provided in the survey accurately reflect me, my beliefs, or my physical self, by selecting 'prefer not to say,' I have actually answered more truthfully than I would have by selecting one of those alternatives.

So let's understand that there is a difference between privacy and deception.

As my friend [blog Goddess1946] says, "get to know me, and you will know the answers."

rm_goddess1946 105F
13518 posts
8/1/2006 8:58 am

Great Blog Shaved.... as usual, you put another light to my thoughts as the clarity of your mind is shared. There IS a huge difference between privacy and deception. Appreciating you always, Goddess

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...

rm_Lickm90 62M
2 posts
8/19/2006 8:51 am

People should understand that once a relationship get to another level, things you are curious about will reveal itself. Trying to rush information to the light cause people to lose interest and somtimes desire. It means we should build a strong foundation before putting a building up.

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