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Women Ask Those Impossible Questions... (Continued)
Women Ask Those Impossible Questions... (Continued)
I just wanted to add a little something to the post below, as I thought it might make a little more sense to some. Have a wonderful weekend!
Smiles ... and hugs...
I put up this post in a way that it was really pointed at the ladies here, not to the men. The men here will get out of it what they will, and go on. But the ladies...
Just what will the ladies get out of it?
First, a conformation that there are some guys out there that do understand and are willing to acknowledge the effort that ya'll go through to enhance your beauty... and why. I praise the women here. You put a lot on the line, just by being here. And by allowing us guys to openly talk, flirt, and enjoy the "you" that you are.
But this does have one other unspoken thought here. It's those questions that you ask of us, that we can't possibly answer, and hope to come out alive. Ladies, I know it's fun for you to see us squirm. I know there is a certain amount of enjoyment in knowing that you have such overwhelming power over us mere lowly men. And I know you will continue to ask those questions.
All I'm asking is that you ask them wisely. Ask them, and then be forgiving of us when we utter our meek reply. And have mercy on us... for we really don't want to answer, and know in our hearts that if we don't, the silence is far worse than the answer itself.
Experience... yeah just a little.
hugs, and love ya'll... hugs, and love, me
4/29/2006 4:16 am
Awwwwww...you are just too cute Unlistedone! And you're right...we do like to see a guy squirm sometimes.....even if it isn't intentional! lol I guess that just isn't right is it????? ~hugs and love right back at ya~ 143 |
4/29/2006 6:16 am
Unlisted... I know exactly of what you speak!|
There are sometrue "landmine"questions asked from the start..."power questions" that set you up for a fall quickly.
Generally,from what I can gather, yes, you squirm in trying to decide how she wants you to answer it...yet the reason such a question was asked is because SHE'S squirming too.
Should I ever be approached with such a question again. I will not answer it! I'll play the squirm-reversal... fuck that! LOL
4/29/2006 10:40 am
Unlistedone...a few years ago I dashed off some tongue-in-cheek thoughts for a group of bewildered young male first lieutenants:|
Why Women Can't Communicate Clearly
There's an old adage which goes: if you ask a man what time it is, he'll look at his watch; but if you ask a woman the same question, she'll start telling you all about the pretty Patek Philippe she saw in the jewelry store the other day.
In other words, you get a straight answer from a man, but rarely from a woman. Yet, how many times have you heard the female accusation "men can't communicate" (usually voiced with a good deal of attitude and scorn)?
Since most men are able to interface and exchange information in a logical, direct and efficient manner, how is it possible that a woman could even make such a statement?
Well, scratch the surface and what you'll find is a very biased female attitude. It turns out that when women say, "Men can't communicate," what they really mean is: "Men can't communicate the way women communicate with each other." But to the bewildered man, women can't communicate at all.
Let's look at four "communication" strategies women use, and what men can do to make some sense of it all.
1- Women never say what they really mean.
Instead of directly expressing a point or asking a question as men usually do, a woman often talks all around a subject, expecting men to somehow decipher what she wants or needs.
For her, being indirect is a way of life. A woman would rather talk and talk and talk, and let men play guessing games rather than come to the point. Here are some examples:
When she says, "It's your decision," what she really means is: "You'd better know what I really want and give it to me right now."
When she says, "Go ahead, do what you want," she really means, "I don't want you to, and you're going to pay for this later."
When she says, "I don't care what a man looks like, as long as he's a nice guy," what she really means is, "Providing he's got lots of money and a status job so my girlfriends will be jealous of me."
2- Women focus on talking, not finding solutions.
Since many women aren't used to taking action, they talk instead of seeking out solutions to problems (they rely on their men to actually get things accomplished). What's more, these same women think that any problem can be solved by simply talking about it.
So instead of making decisions, they will endlessly catalog alternatives, seeking advice from anyone and everyone; then never act upon any of the suggestions (more often than not, they will give up and cry or just complain).
When it finally does come time to make a decision, these women will turn to a man to make it. But if he chooses wrong–meaning if he selects an option that isn't what she really wants–she will pout and bitch and punish him for not knowing her unspoken true desires (without ever telling him why she's pouting and bitchy).
Women call this communication.
3- Women think with their emotions.
After puberty and before menopause, female thought patterns are far divorced from logic because their thinking is driven by their hormonal state. Women love to indulge themselves in feelings and impressions–this is why their behavior is so often erratic, moody, and irrational.
They think and speak in estrogen.
What's more, they have the frustrating ability to think in two directions at once, each diametrically opposed to the other, so nothing ever gets done. Often they will say one thing, then actually do the complete opposite, or take meaning entirely out of context and jump to emotion-based conclusions.
For example, if a man says to this type of woman, "I like your hair," she'll come back with, "You mean you didn't like it before? You're embarrassed of me, aren't you? You think I'm ugly. You don't want to be seen with me."
4- Women expect men to be mind readers (and punish them when they're not).
Any woman will tell you that a man is just supposed to "know" what she likes sexually, where she wants to go, what she wants to do, etc., without her ever conveying any direct information to him. If he doesn't, this means that he doesn't really care about her. In other words, women expect men to be mind readers.
There's an old The Dick Van Dyke Show episode in which Rob, as head writer, has been picking up dinner checks for Buddy and Sally. One night, he takes Laura along to one of these dinners, grabs the check for everyone, and on the way home, she's sitting in smoldering silence, sullen, pouting, refusing to talk to him.
"What's the matter?" he asks. "Nothing," she replies. More pout, more silence as the miles roll on. After a while, he tries again. "Come on, Laura, tell me what's wrong." Laura: "Nothing." Rob: "Well, there has to be something wrong, or you wouldn't be acting like this." Silence.
A few more miles go by and finally Laura says, "Ritchie (their young son) won't be able to go to college." Rob, of course, is completely baffled.
It turns out that Laura had been extrapolating far into the future, and has dreamed up a scenario where Rob's generosity would ultimately result in the depletion of their son's college fund. Somehow, Rob was supposed to "know" this by reading her mind, and she was punishing him with miles and miles of pointless drama because he couldn't.
Women call this communication, it’s their different communication style.
It still appears that these differences in communication styles are hard-wired into the male and female brain by nature; it would be easy to just shrug and say, "Vive la difference."
But the problem is, we live in an extremely sexist society–biased toward women. Women constantly blame men for their masculinity, punish them for thinking like men, and scorn them for failing to adopt the female style of communication.
They castigate men for not being able to express emotions (yet often hypocritically ridicule men as weak when they do). They lionize relationship gurus who instruct men to surrender their masculinity and cater to women.
They condemn the male gender by promoting the female communication style as superior to men's. They even force men to attend sensitivity courses to learn how to think and communicate more like women.
Men Get to the Point
But men aren't supposed to be women. They're not supposed to act like women or think like women. Most men talk to give information or report about facts–they are logical and goal-oriented. They don't think with their hormones. They are not irrational, emotion-based, indirect, or hysterical. They have to communicate their wants and needs directly or nothing will ever get accomplished.
The point is this: Men CAN communicate, and they do it quite clearly.
But from the male point of view, it's women who can't communicate. So, does all this mean that the sexes are doomed forever to be separated by a vast gulf of misunderstanding?
No, not necessarily so.
First women have to stop expecting men to communicate like women. They have to stop scorning men for not being like women. Only when they learn to comprehend and accept the inherent differences in communication styles, can men and women be able to meet on a middle ground of understanding.
Remebering that there are no absolutes, only preferences. And, that simple advice is rarely comprehensive.
4/29/2006 10:09 pm
Mano .... you need a blog, Sir....I would read it for sure. you make some excellent points.|
the only Question I ask when I receive an email :
what is your agenda?
that was asked of me several years ago and now when I am suspicious or cynical(moody)
I ask that and it will either stun them into silence or they will be truthful, I hope.
I think all women want the truth... some just can handle it.
me included ... depending on the question.
4/30/2006 9:17 pm
Angel, you don't do this often. But you also know, I can turn it around in the same fashion, if need be. LOL! hugs hun, me.|
goodguys... welcome to my blog. Thanks for the comment. You have it pretty well right..
Mano... Welcome to my blog, also.
mm is right... you need a blog!!! And, if you had read mine a little closer, you would realize I'm writing this post with a tongue-in-cheek quality, also. I think you probably should have capitalized, "tongue-in-cheek." (Good luck!).
mm... I think you can handle the truth anytime. And around here, being a little cynical at times, is not a "bad thing." I hope you never have to ask me what my agenda is though. I hope I come across clearly enough for that to be understood. Good comment! hug, unlisted
hun, I had a feeling this post would have this type of comments... mmmmmm, you're right! lol! hugs, and a smile, me