What do you do when ....  

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
5791 posts
6/14/2005 9:52 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

What do you do when ....

you just THOUGHT you were about to become an empty nester??????

My daughter, upon graduating from high school, announced at the graduation lunch with family and friends that she and her best friend were going to get an apartment together. That was May 26th....

So, I am adjusting to the fact that my little girl is growing up and moving on.....

Now, tonight.... she comes in and announces to me that she and her best friend are going to take over the other 2 bedrooms of my 3-bedroom apartment... and they are going to pay for a garage for my stuff in the 3rd bedroom (a garage is $100 extra per month)....and pay me $50 each for each month that they are here...and they are going to buy their own groceries...etc.....

Just when I was thinking that I only had one more person (a friend's son) to move out then I would be able to FINALLY do with the apartment just what I WANTED to do with it...and not to have to contend with anyone else.

Now the friend's son has a girlfriend who may stay over more often.....

Auuuggghhh... do you think that they will notice if I secretly move out and get a place of my own???? lol......

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
6/16/2005 7:49 am

talldarkavg1 - Ohhhhh, nooooo!!! Do they really?????? lol...

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
6/16/2005 7:48 am

sportyfun56 - hmmmmm... Maybe we can start an AdultFriendFinder timeshare???? lol...


rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
6/15/2005 2:12 pm

cumtounge44 - I am keeping my fingers crossed. I have already warned her that April 2006, my lease is up here and I am aiming to get a smaller place for myself.... (in the worst case scenario, I'll have them til April 2006)....lol...

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
6/15/2005 7:45 am

babsygirl - yeah... We've been through a lot. I have been a single parent and her Dad terminated parental rights so that he could get out of paying child support among other things (long story).....She went to live with him when she was 14 and 6 months later found out for herself about what life with Dad was all about. I didn't ever have to say a word.

Anyhow.. I am certainly enjoying a little bit that she is back again (she has been a wanderer... between her Dads, my place, her friend's places, etc for the last year or two -- another long story of a strong willed child). Hopefully, this will give them the experience of jumping off into an apartment style living with responsbilities, without diving head first into something that they are not really prepared to do just yet.

We'll see....

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
6/15/2005 7:38 am

staminaplus3 - You are probably right... but, one can dream, can't they???

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
6/15/2005 7:37 am

avgjoe19602 - hopefully, the "plan" will work. We'll see....

Stay tuned!!!

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
6/15/2005 7:37 am

Rikkitikki79 - lol... That is what I am afraid of!!! lol..

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
6/15/2005 7:36 am

wyvernrose - I WAS planning on downsizing when my apt lease is up in April 2006. Too bad, I didn't do it sooner!!! lol...

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
6/15/2005 7:35 am

eggy58 - yeah... I guess!! just kidding...

Someday, she will appreciate it...

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
6/15/2005 7:20 am

As a parent, and having walked in your shoes... you have my heartfelt condolences. I now understand why tigers eat their young.

[blog talldarkavg1]

sportyfun56 106M

6/15/2005 7:13 am

Rose... I can truly sympathize and empathize with you hun.
Makes me wish I had some extra space I could let you use as a getaway.

babsygirl 55F

6/15/2005 6:01 am

ahhh Yes I know the feeling. I live with my son and his girlfriend and dont make the kind of money to live in my house alone. I long for an empty nest. To be me again. But my biggest priority in life has been my son. He will move on someday and I will be alone. Even though this is what I want, its gonna break my heart too. He's my only child. I love him to death.

Then theres me....who has never lived alone....never did a lot of things that having a child so early in life means. I was 19 when I had him. I'm not sorry I had him so early. I mean I'm 44 and dont look 44. I want things in life. I want a partner. But my life has been rasing my son.

Someday....I long for that day...when my house is mine...but until that day....I will love my child being here.....lazy, messy, unproductive, hes still my child and only loaned to me for so long.

Enjoy being part of your childs life...she will grow up and things will be different....enjoy her now.

staminaplus3 66M

6/15/2005 5:58 am

I hate to bust your bubble Txrose but I wouldn't bet on the 3 month thing happening

rm_Rikkitikki79 50M
3 posts
6/15/2005 5:01 am

dont bother...they'll just hunt you down and make ya move in with them again HA...nice pics by the way

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
6/15/2005 4:52 am

cajunpet - Well... my daughter is 17...not 21. So there is a level of maturity that is not quite had there yet. She said that she and L*** would only be here throughout the remainder of the summer... then they are getting an apartment of their own. L**'s Mom is moving to Houston to be with her step Dad after being in two houses and two cities because of job situations and getting the daughter through high school.

I discussed a lot of the dos and donts about the apartment -- such as drinking which I will not tolerate in my house -- especially to the point of drunkedness. I will not be buying them alcohol even though L***'s Mom would do that for them (I am not L***'s Mom). They would be buying their own groceries and contributing to consumables that are used by everyone in the household -- such as toilet paper, paper towels, and laundry soap. They are not to disturb the peace of my existance in this home -- especially, since I am the one paying the greater majority of the bills. I told them that if I get fined for cigarette butts or trash in the breezeway of the apartment, I am coming after them to pay the fine -- especially since I don't smoke or litter. Etc., etc.....

If they move in, I think my friend's son will be leaving, which will fix that problem. That is one way to get him to move on because he can't stand my daughter.

Which means, then (in about 3 months time), I will truly be an empty nester!!!

(Bearing that I still have my sanity by then!!!)....

wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
6/15/2005 12:35 am

I say MOVE OUT! get a small apartment where there isn't enough room for them


eggy58 58M

6/15/2005 12:33 am

That is what being a good parent is all about....

cajunpet 70M
1185 posts
6/14/2005 11:22 pm

I know you love you daughter to dead, and this puts a damper of your new found freedom. It is a delicate situation, and I think should be discussed before allowing her to do this. Tell her of your true feelings and concerns about it.

My sister allowed her 22 year old daughter to stay with her several times, and had to tell her to leave everytime. My niece did not respect her mother's privacy, used her computer computer without permission, went throught her mail, would not help out around the house, would not work, and want to do drugs all the time with boys hanging out with her. I am not saying this will happen with you daughter, but situations will happen that will affect you privacy, and freeedom.

As far as your friend's son is concerned, I would not allow this to happened. Your apartment is your castle and you need to set the rules of what happens in it.

It is best when children are old enought to leave the mother's nest and live their own life in their own space. Then the can choose whatever lifestyle they want to live.

Wishing you the best of luck.

Take care.
Keep On Blogging!!!! Have a great day.

Cajun Pet

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
6/14/2005 10:36 pm

I am weaning my daughter....
by making her pay for things...
not getting a free ride here....
if she is coming back home....

she says it is for oinly 3 months....
we'll see...


ThreeWayJoy 63M/50F
7 posts
6/14/2005 10:09 pm

sweetheart. my children are raised and weaned its a great place to be!
But if you sugar mamma your kids.. ye shall never be an empty nester.
Perhaps you should get yourself a little love nest for private moments. *hope you enjoy the humor* Good Luck!

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