How much life baggage do you share????  

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
5791 posts
7/6/2005 1:09 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

How much life baggage do you share????

If you are just looking for a fu** date, then there is less likelihood that you are going to divulge much in the way of real intimate details of one's own life. Those kind you share JUST ENOUGH information --- sometimes, in hopes of them not being able to ever find you again.

But, when you start talking and it gets as detailed as to whether or not you squeeze the toothpaste from the top or bottom... or as deep about each other's beliefs and/or depth of one's own interest in a particular topic... there begins a definate connection and not just mere Wham, Bam, Thank you Mam attitude -- especially, when you find that each other agrees on the same things whole-heartedly...and isn't just saying so (b/c it is noticeable that where there are differences of opinion, it doesn't change the way one feels for the other).

When you have had your AdultFriendFinder encounters, how willing you been to spill one's soul? Is this a reflection of what you want in life right now? And, if it isn't what you want in life, are you willing to share more of your soul with another in order to take the risk of the possibility that there is much more of a connection -- and, one that you would definately want to explore???

This is the crossroad that my Beau and I come to. We have bore most of our souls to one another; some we leave for discussion when we meet. We have left some of the nuances and quirks about one another to further explore, discuss, and get to know during our weekend together. He has some busy days during the next couple of days in preparation of his travels...and my duty is to pack my "Mary Poppins Bag" with a variety of things.....

If you just ant a fu** me date, then not telling much about one another is probably where it should be; however, if you are really trying to find your soulmate, you have to be prepared to reveal the masks of your soul, layer by layer, to that other person.

How difficult is it for you to bear your soul? How serious of a relationship are you really looking for these days?

Just a few questions to ponder....

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
7/8/2005 9:19 am

wyvernrose - Yes, there are places and times to reveal it all... and, for some folks, it is just better that they do not know. I am sure, if my Mom knew half of the stuff I have been involved with, she would just add it to her already long ammunition list. However, there are many things that I do let be known to my perspective beaus b/c I want there to be little left for surprises in things that may affect my emotions at times (ie being a victim of domestic violence in my past, etc.).... but, even then, I choose my audience carefully and wisely....

wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
7/7/2005 8:41 am

Actually txrose I often receive comments from guys because they are astounded at how open and honest I am, I don't tell them everything, but just that I don't in any way barricade myself, I think it makes them comfortable with me actually and is probably why I have such sucess in finding suitable playmates.....the road to discovering if they are suitable isn't so bumpy...

unlike shovel I actually do have alot of skeletons in the closet....but I learnt at a young age that those skeletons are only harmful if kept secret....I don't have many secrets at all, well maybe the one.... that fewer than a handful of people know, subjects which often are taboo I walk all over irrespective of company.....although in some regards I am wary of who I discuss some topics with being that of our lifestyle....but I think my mum can live without knowing


rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
7/6/2005 11:16 am

My advice, PillsburyCodeBoy... is just let the words flow from your heart. You can never go wrong then.... if you like, practice what you want to say in your blogs...accept the feedback, ideas, and suggestions... and master what you want to say in an appropriate manner!

BTW, you see how prolific I can be... if I am ever found with a loss of words, it is merely a matter of how stunned I am at the time, not so much as not knowing how to express myself once I come around from being stunned.

And, you are soooooo right - without some emotional risks, one cannot truly have a meaningful relationship!!

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
7/6/2005 9:49 am

First of all, cumshoteyes, you are welcome for my comment on your new blog. Hopefully, you are enjoying our Blogland. And, insofar as, being able to easier bare our bodies rather than our souls, this is exactly what makes it all that much more amazing when you can find a person that you are soooooo very comfortable in bearing your soul to as well. Hopefully, you too will find that special someone that you can feel comfortable enough to bare all!

74ShovelHD - So very true. I'd rather get the past off of my shoulders than feel the weight of being found out later become unbearable. Besides, part of the windows to each other souls are much more understanding as you understand the "where" a person has been, their experiences, and such -- all of the past builds the character of the person of who they are today (especially, if they have dealt with their past and grown from it). I don't reveal my soul just to anyone though... (although I have to some degree with you all through these blogs, but even you all don't know all of my "masks" of my past). A lot of time, it takes a build up of trust to be able to truly bear one's past experiences. And, when you do.... WOW!! Totally amazing!!

PillsburyCodeBoy 60M

7/6/2005 9:40 am

I don't find it that difficult to bare my soul. The problem is finding the right words to do it. I take my words seriously, and I work at saying the right thing at the right time. I don't always get it right. I have a problem with balancing being too subtle against being too direct. I feel like I get that wrong half the time, too. In any case, I just try to be honest.

You really can't have any kind of meaningful relationship without taking emotional risks. That means opening up.

74ShovelHD 53M

7/6/2005 7:11 am

It's probably not the smartest thing to do, but I tell all (if asked)...I guess I'd rather have that person know what they're getting into, and not be shocked for what they find. Of course, I don't have too many smoking guns in my past, so it's kind of "what you see is what you get".

I think as you're getting serious with someone, you need to spill it...because it's always those little tidbits that, while one person doesn't think it's important, and the other ends up leaving over.

rm_cumshoteyes 55M

7/6/2005 7:02 am

I once read that it is often easier for us to bare our bodies and be sexually intimate than to honestly reveal ourselves, who we truely are, and let someone inside that way.

Thank you for your warm welcome comment to my new blog.

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