Good Ol' Mame!  

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
5791 posts
7/11/2005 10:04 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Good Ol' Mame!

"When one window closes, another one opens"????...or so I think how the song goes in the musical....

COMPOSED at 3am 7-11:

I've seen "MAME" thousands of times and, yet, this is one that is coming to my mind at this point in time.

I had the chance to meet my Beau finally this weekend, after a very intense build-up during the past month and, even more so during the last few weeks -- between the bantering of our blogs, our chatting on the YM, and endless phone calls. Perhaps, we just got too caught up in the excitement of the hopes and dreams that we seemed to have shared and we both grabbed onto that kite string together just a little bit too soon -- who knows???

Please. Don't get me wrong. We had a fabulous weekend -- enjoying the sexual encounters, the hugs, the kisses, and the stimulating conversations about many, many topics. As much as we tried, though, that special spark just wasn't quite there.

Internet dating certain has its moments of successes. This is obvious, as in the case with my late husband where we had met each other on Yahoo Personals with a huge success. I think that my Beau and me were sooooo hoping for that second chance.

In one of my Beau's blogs (before we met) he mentioned that he would know it when he saw it. I can't help but feel that he meant when he saw the skinny-minnie beauty by that comment in spite of my efforts to make it perfectly clear that, although I am working towards that goal, I am no skinny-minnie yet...although I had been so at one time. This, too, in spite of him blogging about body types wherein he admits to losing about 300 pounds in the last 6 years.

In spite of that, I do not believe that [blog jayR63]'s and [blog mzhunyhole]'s warnings that my Beau could potentially be a snake oil salesman was true at all. In fact, Beau was nothing but a true gentleman to me -- bringing me a rose, taking me out, touring Austin and then San Antonio's Alamo and Riverwalk with me, as well as spoiling me with some truly intelligent conversation and loving attention.

The good thing about internet dating is that you can truly learn a lot about the person a lot faster than most conventional dating processes; the bad thing is that it is too easy for someone to insert what they learn about the other person into an image of how you would visualize those perfect qualities to meshing. My image of Beau was, honestly, not far from what I visualized, although he was much taller and with much larger shoulders than I had imagined.

Everything had been built up so intensely during the past few weeks that when we finally did meet, we found ourselves exhausted by the pure excitement finally climazing with the point of each other in each other's arms. We had a great time Friday and an even better Saturday.

Sunday, I had to work and he had to travel back home. He called me when he finally did arrive home late Sunday night, and with a quiver in his voice explained to me that he had had plenty of time to think about things and the path he had just travelled and affirmed what I had already sensed. I thanked him for being the gentleman to let me in on what he was thinking. I wished I could have talked to him more but I sensed his worry as well as I had clients walking into my office at a very inopportune time. As soon as I catch up on my sleep today from working my 24hr shift on Sunday day and night, I do hope to be able to talk to my former Beau some more in depth.

This past month has been filled with all sorts of tears -- tears of joy and sorrow. Yet, while gathering my wits once again, I'm pushing open my window and sitting on the window seat looking for some rays of sunshine to be out there tomorrow. In the distance, I see a merry-go-round and wonder if my friend, SensuallyKatey is still on the merry-go-round. Having no regrets about this weekend and having the opportunity to meet this brilliant man, I'm wondering if my friends will be waiting to let me back on, as well as before I need to buckle down with my studies once again as the new term begins later today.

Perhaps, my Beau isn't my Sir Prince that I can visualize (yet not realize just yet), I do beleive that I shall find him some day -- or, perhaps, I already have and just don't realize it just yet??? I feel that I have come really, really, really close to finding my Sir Prince in my Beau and he will be revealed to me in due time. Even though my Beau isn't probably my Sir Prince; however, I do feel that we will continue to be the bestest of friends throughout the years to come.

In the meatime, I see the merry-go-round in the distance and shout out to SensuallyKatey to see if she's still there, as well as my other friends. I want to feel the wind in my face and the laughter surrounding me that I felt and heard this weekend even. I cannot feel that wind or hear the laughter from the window seat I sit right now -- although just hours and days ago, I had.

Maybe, in a few days, I will feel better.... Right now, I do need some much needed rest because I am a bit delirious now. Kisses and hugs to you all as I get caught up on my sleep after working my 24hr shift yesterday.

With lots of love....


rm_anacortes 74M
2850 posts
7/13/2005 4:06 am


rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
7/12/2005 12:19 pm

starlight_runner - Hmmm... thanks!

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
7/12/2005 10:31 am

Oh, absolutely, papyrina! and, a great friend indeed!!!

Oh, yagottalikit, I am not really discouraged too much at all. Through our talks we had it was truly a growth experience being able to talk about many, many things and finally being able to put some identifiable names to certain beliefs that I had always had, for example, among so many other growth experiences we had in our weekend journey. Looking back on the weekend, we did make the most of it and compacted so many things in it, while interspersing it with so much intelligent conversation and bantering, etc. It is taking a few days to absorb all that we experienced while he was here. Amazing - truly amazing!!! And, I know he is but a keystroke or phone call away to continue embarking upon the growth journey.

starlight_runner 39F

7/12/2005 10:09 am

Passes txrose the Candyfloss and helps her up onto her wooden steed.Start the carasel up again Katey.

yagottalikit 49F
583 posts
7/12/2005 6:20 am

Thank you, Rose, for sharing such intimate and personal details of your journey.....I'm sure many people here in blogland gain insight from your experiences. Allowing yourself to be so exposed and vulnerable is admirable indeed. I hope you find everything you have desired. It's a rocky path, but, I'm sure the destination point will be glorious. (Can't have too many, do not be discouraged.)

Yagotta get it soft and wet so we can kick/stick it

papyrina 51F
21133 posts
7/12/2005 5:22 am

roze i'm pleased to see that you enjoyed the weekend and sorry to hear that the darned chemistry was not there,
But at least you met and found a new friend

I'm a

i'm here to stay

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
7/12/2005 4:24 am

harshawj, my Beau - Thank you for your endearing words of kindess....I do so very much cherish the time we had together and hope that we do continue being the bestest of friends. We had plenty of discussions throughout the weekend -- and some extremely philosophical and personal, which aided on stirring our emotions I am sure. In a sense, it was a glorious retreat that we had away from our problems and worries that enabled us to both grow in such astronomical ways. It is truly amazing the gifts that we gave one another in our time and need for personal growth.

I am not sure that our paths are quite so different; but, like coming home from a personal growth retreat, we both need time to process and re-analyze our emotions, thoughts, and paths travelling. Even nearly two days later, my body is numb with the emotions that we encountered in our own personal retreat weekend. I, too, am a stronger person because of it; that is for sure.

Thank you for being my friend first and foremost throughout the past month; I look forward to remaining your bestest of friends (well, maybe 2nd bestest of friend to Neil) throughout the years to come. We just share too much commonalities to not want to nuture that growth.

Loving you always and forever...


rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
7/12/2005 4:10 am

Mccartney2003 - Do you really think so? (I so hope so.) In the meantime, I do enjoy sharing the merry-go-round with all of my friends.

mzhunyhole - Thanks for your support.

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
7/12/2005 4:07 am

alice593 - Yes, it is true. It is good to have friends in this world. And, in a strange way, I think you might be right in what you say. Only time will be able to tell. Stay tuned!

jim5131 - Exactly! ("The best relationships are those in which the partners recognize the other's plusses and minuses and accept them for who they are, giving in and asserting when necessary, often accomodating and sometimes needing, and realizing that a 'perfect' relationship would be dull and predictable. The compliments that partners give to each other makes the sum of two greater than the whole.") I couldn't have said it better myself. (*sigh*) I hope that you are right! We'll see.....

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
7/12/2005 4:02 am

ProtonicMan - Awwww... what an eloquent way of putting it. Tis is true. It was a remarkable weekend; one that I won't ever forget in my lifetime...and one that I hope will happen again. If it isn't with my Beau, then someone as galant as a Sir Prince. My beau will always have a special warm place in my heart; that is a fact for sure -- whether we just remain bestest of friends...or even attempt again at some point in time to see if that spark can be kindled in much more relaxed conditions aside from the first meet of one another. Who knows? In the meantime, thanks for the permanent invivte back on the merry-go-round.

Luv2Lik1938 - Hmmmm... I don't think it was so much a lack of chemistry. There was definately some level of chemistry there; otherwise, we wouldn't be considering remaining bestest of friends, at the very least. At some point in time, we will have to determine exactly what that level is; but, for right now, we need to allow some time for our emotions to adjust from the fabulous time we had together.

brandnewman2003 - Thank you for your comforting words of advice.

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
7/12/2005 3:53 am

avgjoe19602 - Oh, this is true - very true indeed. While there was some spark, it wasn't the sparks that we had expected to happen. Perhaps, it was just all the buildup that led to our meeting; perhaps, we'll meet again sometime and see what happens under more relaxed conditions. We did find that we are certainly very good friends....and do want to nurture that towards being very, very, very good friends indeed. I have no regrets having our friendship develop as it did through the blogs, YMs, and emails; we probably took it a little bit too fast which built up our expectations even more so. Each of our hears were pounding with the excitement and anticipation... much like an analogy of a very fast and furious foreplay before buckling down to the truest intent of a sexual encounter. We now have to take our breather and regroup our thoughts. Nothing has been set in stone just yet as our emotions our still unraveling from this weekend..... who knows what the future may bring for us.

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
7/12/2005 3:46 am

cajunpet - Thanks, this is true.

PillsburyCodeBoy - What a great thing to say. I, too, feel close to you all as well through your comments and bantering with me...on my blog and at various times with your own blogs on occasion. Writing is good for the soul...and a masterful way of learning more about the people around you. I always had thought people watching was one of my fav things to do until I discovered blogging a couple years back. Thank you for your support.

jayR63 - lol... Nope, I don't think that had anything to do with it, although I drank about 2 gallons of tea in San Antonio in one sitting rehydrating myself during a walk on the Riverwalk in the humid hot sun..... hmmmm.... lol....

bestinbcs - Thanks. I have enjoyed IM'g with you as well. You have certainly been a very good friend indeed...and perhaps your aggie path with cross with this longhorn path some day! hee hee.... Hook 'Em!!

Mccartney2003 38M
281 posts
7/12/2005 12:48 am

I am sorry things did not turn out like you had hoped. I've come to learn that life is never perfect and maybe when we stop looking so hard suprises may happen. Your a sweetheart and things are going to work out for you. With life there is hope after all.....
Your a dream come true for someone out there thats having the same problems finding you. He's there, he's searching and soon enough your going to run into each other. I keep thinking along those lines for myself as well. God makes plans for each and everyone of us. Sometimes the roads are rocky and long and winding, but the goal is there after all those trials and errors.

Kisses my friend and the merry go round is at least fun when shared with friends.

jim5131 55M
1296 posts
7/11/2005 10:00 pm

....still a great weekend, though, wasn't it? I'm glad things went as well as they did, as many times we get an idea in our minds on the 'perfect' date, or the 'perfect' weekend, or the 'perfect' relationship, but in reality, few things are complete in our expectations, but we understand the differences do not make them imperfect. The differences make them original, unexpected and spontaneous. Think of the readers that you have that would LOVE to have such a weekend with a gentleman like Beau.

I realized long ago that there is no 'perfect' anyone for anyone. There are far too many facets for personalities to clash, and those 'perfect' relationships are usually when one is giving up too much for the sake of the relationship. The best relationships are those in which the partners recognize the other's plusses and minuses and accept them for who they are, giving in and asserting when necessary, often accomodating and sometimes needing, and realizing that a 'perfect' relationship would be dull and predictable. The compliments that partners give to each other makes the sum of two greater than the whole.

You're probably on a better start than you think....

alice593 71M

7/11/2005 9:48 pm

It is good to have friends in this world, and especially if you find that special friend that is with you all the time. They say hope is a virtue. So maybe you may have met your Sir Prince. Since good friends are hard to come by, we must all watch what and how we say things to them. People that could be friends for a long time, can be lost in a remark taken the wrong way. So stay with your friends, and hopefully things will work out great for you.

rm_Luv2Lik1938 78M

7/11/2005 9:39 pm

I must say that I am so very sorry for you that it didn't work out. But I guess we've all been there so many times, and no matter how many, it still hurts. If the chemistry isn't there, it just isn't. Nothing you nor he could do about that. Hang in there, TxRose

ProtonicMan 47M

7/11/2005 8:57 pm

A Rose by any other name would write just as sweetly.

The story of your encounter is like a fabulous, many-course meal. The palate is teased with aperetifs and appetizers. A salad, unlike any combination you have sampled before, is complemented by a unique dressing with a sweet tang and a hint of spice. Next comes a soup, and you are amazed at the richness and texture, with a hint of more substance. The main course is flavorful, rich, hearty, and the carefully selected wine highlights the complex flavors and contrasts of the meat and the vegetables. Your meal climaxes with the desert: A rich chocolate confection garnished with tart raspberries. The dénouement is a cup of fine coffee, ending with the slightest bitter aftertaste.

I sincerely hope the memories of your repast will bring joy to your palate and warmth to your heart.

Our dear TxRose, you are always welcome on our merry-go-round.


rm_jayR63 59F
1884 posts
7/11/2005 8:29 pm

It's because you chew with your mouth open and make slurping noises with the coffee, isn't it ?

PillsburyCodeBoy 60M

7/11/2005 8:07 pm

A few days rest may help you gain perspective on the weekend's events. But I think you've already probably got a pretty good handle on what happened and why.

I'm not sure what to say, really, except there are those of us out here who've never met you but nevertheless feel close to you through your writings, and we are with you no matter what happens.

Take care.

cajunpet 70M
1185 posts
7/11/2005 8:06 pm

Welcome back. Sorry to hear it do not turn out the way you would have love for it to be.

You never know completely until you meet in person and see if the chemistry and sparks will match.

Take care.
Keep On Blogging!!!! Have a great day.

Cajun Pet

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