Can you make a long distance relationship work, if you want to?  

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
5791 posts
6/10/2005 2:03 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Can you make a long distance relationship work, if you want to?

"If you have a long distance relationship, how do you make it a successful one???" was the title of a prior post of mine. It seems that the concensus is that they simply don't work and pretty much suck all the way around.

There are some pretty fine looking AdultFriendFinder men (and, for you men, I am sure that there are some pretty fine looking AdultFriendFinder women) who would be of interest to see if a long distance relationship could be made to work at all if you put a lot of effort into it??? (They just are either far enough and/or way beyond just being far enough to prevent y'all from seeing each other on a daily basis (or even an every 2-3 day basis) even if you wanted to do so.)

Or, is it simply not worth the investment of time and energy???

What do you think???

Lipator 56M
71 posts
6/16/2005 7:36 am

I was due to go over to Saudi Arabia and had packed all my belongings and moved out of my house. A friend had offered to put me up for the weekend prior to departure and I thought I would be able to visit some friends before I left. My friend L said she needed to do some things but we could go into the city on the Saturday and have a look around. We did that, had a great time. That night we went to one of her favourite restaurants and we ended up at some beach holding hands and exchanging light peks. When we got back to her place it was a full one nine and a half week like session, and I immediately wanted to cancel my contract and stay with her, but of course I couldn't.

Anyhow we had some great letters, I used to phone her once a week, couldn't do the email thing as she didn't know how to do it. When I returned we had a good couple of months but the romance kind of died.

I still have a couple of the letters and read them occasionally when I get a bit depressed, but I think it could work. I used to talk about nothing else than her, it made me a little creative in the kinds of things I would send her and I always used to look forward to the phone call.

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
6/11/2005 11:28 pm

avgjoe19602 - I wish... I am not a very good long distance relationship person.... I am having trouble to see a guy that is 90 miles from me....much less one that is a few days away from me...

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
6/11/2005 11:26 pm

ByteChaser2 - so repeat attempts??? hmmm..

ByteChaser2 52M

6/11/2005 3:48 pm

And no Barbiebunny69, you don't quite qualify as long distance!

ByteChaser2 52M

6/11/2005 3:45 pm

"She" lived in an Atlanta suburb... I in So. California. And for a while it worked. We each had one HELL of a cell phone bill and monthly flights to see her or her to see me took it's toll on the credit card. I would even arrange my work travel such that I'd get a layover in Atlanta, just so we could sit together and share a cup of coffee.

It was a cause for a lot of sleepless nights and no small measure of longing but it was worth every effort, every phone call or email, every penny spent just to be with her for one night.

And as wonderful a thing that it was, there's not a snowflakes chance in hell I'd do that again. Well... maybe but she'd have to be the supreme Goddess of the Universe - or "Her"...

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
6/11/2005 6:21 am

cajunpet - Yep, know what you mean about that outside fun.... I am always left desiring more from what I cannot have. Always a setup for disaster...or disappointment, in the very least.

I am certainly a risk taker.... There comes a point in time, one needs to ask themselves though... are they simply a glutton for punishmnet when they take a risk in a long distance relationship????

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
6/11/2005 4:18 am

StPeteb - Yeah, eventually one has to give in; then it becomes a matter of who's ties are more important...leaving the one moving feeling like that they are not a very important factor in the relationship....Very tough!!

How DO people make it work though????

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
6/11/2005 4:14 am

DLiscious2 - I have to agree about the romanticism of meeting in third cities. I once met a man (prior AdultFriendFinder days) in Columbus TX (in between Houston and San Antonio) and had such a memorable time. Although we have drifted apart since then, we still talk to one another about that very sensual time in that quaint little town.

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
6/11/2005 4:09 am

notsoold65 - When you are used to having sex, when I was married last, generally 2-3 times a day (when we woke up in the morning, before going bed at night, and somewhere in between especially on a particularily lazy Saturday or Sunday or a day we both weren't working), once a week doesn't seem like a viable option.

cajunpet 70M
1185 posts
6/11/2005 12:00 am

A very good topic TxRose. I am sure there are a lot of members that are compatible in every way, except for the distance. I am one of these members, where there are very few ladies that interest me (they are not interested in me) locally. Most of the ladies that are available are married/attached and looking for outside fun, which does not interest me. I have always been involed in a long term relationship, 21 and 13 years.

I think that a long distance relationship can work. For it to work, daily quality communication by phone or other means of communications is essential, and meeting each other as often as possible. If it is a quality relationship, then one of the other should consider moving closer, to be together as much as they desire to be together.

"Or, is it simply not worth the investment of time and energy???"
Life is full of risks we all must take. If you do not take the risk, then you will never know if it was worth it. I think it would depend on the quality of the relationship to determine if the time and energy spent was worth the long distance relationship.

Keep On Blogging!!!! Have a great day.

SoresTacheVirtu 64M
2 posts
6/10/2005 6:05 pm

A long distance relationship can work depending on the two involved. Now, after some time one of the two have to give and relocate now is that possible? There are positions involved, possible real estate now those are walls which can hurt the relationship.

DLiscious2 48M/42F

6/10/2005 3:55 pm

We endured an eight month ldr. It wasn't a joy, yet it did have a few good aspects. For one, our meetings (often in third cities) were highly charged and intensely erotic. We now love fooling around out of town...especially in restaurant restrooms and hotel stairwells (watch for us). We kept it bearable by always having the next rendezvous scheduled and by frequent romantic e-mails and sexy phone calls. It's definitely better being together, but we do have fond memories of our time apart. -DLiscious2

rm_notsoold65 51M

6/10/2005 3:41 pm

i pesonaly would go severl hundred miles to see some one i connect with but due to having a verey real life of my this just dosnt seem to happen. but im not the type who has to see some one all the time either.i guesse it just depends on how open you are to the idea, i once had a lady friend who would come to see me once a week 75ml. but then she found some one closer and decided not to come anymore.but we still chat once in a while so its not like i lost a freind or seems like life today just moves so fast that most people settle for what is quick and easy, cant blame them for that i sometimes do the samexoxo me

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